Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

Two ministers died at the same time and met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says," I'd like to get you in now, but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to earth until it's ready, but you can go back as anything you want.

The first minister says, "I've always wanted to be a eagle soaring above our beautiful earth."

"And I have always wanted to be a stud!" said the second.

"So be it " says St. Peter and "POOF", the ministers disappear.

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and St. peter asked his assistant to recall the two ministers.

"How will I find them?" the assistant askes.

"One is easy, he's soaring over the Grand Canyon right now" says St. Peter.

"The other may be tough to locate though, he's on a snow tire somewhere in Alaska."

 

 

Simon.

  • Haha 9
Posted
5 hours ago, JohnT said:


better still if he has a break and pops over to the neighbours for a hobnob

 

He always  has been a jammy dodger.  going to Greggs foe a fig role.

  • Haha 2
Posted

Is that a picture of a spilt packet of smarties??

 

 

  • Haha 3
Posted

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin'! There's no paper on this side either!"

  • Haha 8
Posted

A woman walked into the kitchen and found her husband walking around with a fly swatter.

“What are you doing?” the woman asked.

“Hunting mosquitoes” He responded.

“Oh, catching any?” She asked.

“Yep, two males, two females” said the husband.

Intrigued with this information the woman asked:

“How can you tell?”

Her husband quickly responded:

“Two were on a beer can, two were on the phone.”

 

Simon.

  • Haha 12
Posted

Pretty sure that a shark can swim faster than me.

Confident that I can run faster than a shark.

So in a Triathalon it would all come down to how well a shark can ride a bicycle.

 

 

  • Haha 7
Posted

A priest, an imam and a rabbit all go to give blood.  Before they start, the nurse asks them if they know what blood group they are.

"A negative", the priest says confidently.

"AB", says the imam.

"I'm not sure," says the rabbit, "but I think I might be a type O."

  • Thanks 1
  • Haha 22
  • Confused 1
Posted
13 minutes ago, pigsty said:

A priest, an imam and a rabbit all go to give blood.  Before they start, the nurse asks them if they know what blood group they are.

"A negative", the priest says confidently.

"AB", says the imam.

"I'm not sure," says the rabbit, "but I think I might be a type O."

 

That's brilliant.

Posted

I went into my LHS shop today and asked the proprietor,have you got ant thinner?

he said, yes I've lost 10 pounds thankyou for noticing

  • Haha 5
Posted
On 20/10/2022 at 23:16, Rabbit Leader said:

What’s Blue and not heavy? 
 

……… Light Blue! 

 

Calling Kiwidave4...:facepalm:

 

:D

Posted
On 20/10/2022 at 18:20, pigsty said:

A priest, an imam and a rabbit all go to give blood.  Before they start, the nurse asks them if they know what blood group they are.

"A negative", the priest says confidently.

"AB", says the imam.

"I'm not sure," says the rabbit, "but I think I might be a type O."

very subtle, I like those kind of jokes.  :giggle:

Posted

A tiny kangaroo hops into a bar.

The barman leans over and says "Wallaby?"

"Pint of bitter, please," the kangaroo replies.

  • Haha 12
Posted
On 10/20/2022 at 7:20 PM, pigsty said:

A priest, an imam and a rabbit all go to give blood.  Before they start, the nurse asks them if they know what blood group they are.

"A negative", the priest says confidently.

"AB", says the imam.

"I'm not sure," says the rabbit, "but I think I might be a type O."

 

 

It finally cut through. Is this rab missing a bit @pigsty?

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...