spruecutter96 Posted February 12 Share Posted February 12 (edited) How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light-bulb? A dog. (This joke has been stolen from the late, great Robin Williams. I have no idea what it means...). Chris. Edited February 12 by spruecutter96 Amending some information 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullbasket Posted February 12 Share Posted February 12 A cowboy goes down to the stable, lifts his horse's tail, and plants a kiss smack dab on the horses anus. Another cowboy sees this and yells, "What the hell are you doing?" He replies, "I've got chapped lips." The other cowboy asks, "Does that help?" "Nope," he answers, "It just keeps me from licking them." 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selwyn Posted February 12 Share Posted February 12 37 minutes ago, spruecutter96 said: How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light-bulb? A dog. (This joke has been stolen from the late, great Robin Williams. I have no idea what it means...). Chris. How many psycoanalyists does it take to change a lightbulb? Well it depends if the light bulb really wants to change! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spruecutter96 Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 How many feminists does it take to change a light-bulb? ONE AND THAT'S NOT FUNNY!! Alternative punchline: "Two. One to do it and a second to tell her how much better than a man she was". Chris. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spruecutter96 Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 How many scientists does it take to change a light-bulb? Dozens..... One to hold the bulb still and the rest to work out the best way to make the room revolve. Oh, and they need another £15 Million to do the proper research.... Cheers. Chris. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spruecutter96 Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 How many scale model-makers does it take to change a light-bulb? Loads..... One to fit the bulb....and hundreds to engage in an extremely heated, decade-long online debate as to what colour the light from it is. (Tongue is very firmly in cheek, here. Please don't take any offence, folks!) Chris. 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Puff Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 1 hour ago, spruecutter96 said: How many feminists does it take to change a light-bulb? ONE AND THAT'S NOT FUNNY!! Alternative punchline: "Two. One to do it and a second to tell her how much better than a man she was". Chris. Alternative alternative: One; plus two hundred and fifty to make the documentary. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenko Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 (edited) 7 hours ago, spruecutter96 said: How many scale model-makers does it take to change a light-bulb? Loads..... One to fit the bulb....and hundreds to engage in an extremely heated, decade-long online debate as to what colour the light from it is. (Tongue is very firmly in cheek, here. Please don't take any offence, folks!) Chris. Also. It's the wrong wattage, wrong type of bulb, it's unusable. casts the wrong shadow. Only works for some people. The Airfix one is better because it's been scanned. I could go on. Others often do. Dick Off to my dooms day shelter. Edited February 14 by jenko 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2996 Victor Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 My wife and I have decided we don't want any children. We're telling them later. 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2996 Victor Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 I before E except when your neighbour, Keith, weirdly receives eight counterfeit beige reindeer sleighs from a caffeinated feisty foreign weightlifter..... 1 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spruecutter96 Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 8 hours ago, 2996 Victor said: except when your neighbour, Keith, weirdly receives eight counterfeit beige reindeer sleighs from a caffeinated feisty foreign weightlifter..... As Manuel would often say: "Que?" Chris. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted February 15 Author Share Posted February 15 Coal fired sheep? Simon. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spruecutter96 Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 3 hours ago, Spookytooth said: Coal fired sheep? Possible captions: "Can anyone else smell roast-lamb?" "No more curried-eggs and Irn-Bru for me, then!" "Green-house gases, Guv'nr? I've no idea wot you mean...." Chris. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bentwaters81tfw Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 Cor....that ram was something else! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Harmsworth Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 Q: Am I the only one you've ever been with? A: Yes. The rest were 9 or 10. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenko Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 9 hours ago, Spookytooth said: Coal fired sheep? Simon. Or Been a bit of a scorcher today. Babe I've got the hots for ewe, Goodness gracious great balls of fire. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bentwaters81tfw Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 kids take up vaping so young these days Or An everyday scene in Wales. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 Found out where the fridge magnets were disappearing to. Got up this morning and the dog was stuck to the door. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigsty Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 My uncle was a very successful songwriter. He always said the key was to make sure his lyrics were suitable for all ages. In fact, if an innuendo crept in, he'd whip it out straight away. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2996 Victor Posted February 18 Share Posted February 18 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenko Posted February 19 Share Posted February 19 On 2/15/2024 at 11:42 AM, Spookytooth said: I said I wanted lamb hot pot NOT lamb hot bot. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fisherman Dave Posted February 19 Share Posted February 19 How do farmers party ? They turnip the beets. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2996 Victor Posted February 19 Share Posted February 19 I had a kids' Happy Meal at McDonald's today. Damn, but her parents were annoyed! 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted February 22 Author Share Posted February 22 Simon. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welkin Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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