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Short Clean Jokes V


Spookytooth

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Posted (edited)
On 30/04/2024 at 20:26, Noel Smith said:

The Optimist.          The glass is half full.

The Pessimist.        The glass is half empty.

The Engineer.           The glass is twice the size it needs to be.

As any engineer will confirm:

I don't care who's mug is half filled or half empty, my mug is covered in tea stains and it'd better stay that way.

 

mug

Edited by Circloy
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 My neighbour's son is four years old and has been learning Spanish for a while now. So far, he can only say "Please".

 

That's poor for four, isn't it?

 

 

 

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The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS.

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.

The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea.

 

He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read... Main entrance.

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21 hours ago, Noel Smith said:

Description of a net.

A series of holes held together by string.

5 foot 4 inch high, auburn hair, hazel eyes, ...

 

... Sorry I thought you said Annette

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If you ever wonder how professional cyclists go to the loo during a race it's quite simple. They have two bottles: one for drinking and one for peeing. When you see a cyclist collapse by the side of the road, it's because he used the wrong bottle...

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Posted (edited)
23 hours ago, Circloy said:

5 foot 4 inch high, auburn hair, hazel eyes, ...

 

... Sorry I thought you said Annette

 

 

Mmmm, Annette!  Oh, sorry, my attention wandered for a minute.

Edited by 593jones
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