Pete in Lincs Posted May 1, 2024 Posted May 1, 2024 When do Ducks wake up? At the quack of dawn. Ahem 8
Circloy Posted May 1, 2024 Posted May 1, 2024 (edited) On 30/04/2024 at 20:26, Noel Smith said: The Optimist. The glass is half full. The Pessimist. The glass is half empty. The Engineer. The glass is twice the size it needs to be. As any engineer will confirm: I don't care who's mug is half filled or half empty, my mug is covered in tea stains and it'd better stay that way. mug Edited May 1, 2024 by Circloy spelling 4
Noel Smith Posted May 1, 2024 Posted May 1, 2024 (edited) There was a dyslexic, agnostic with insomnia who kept waking up at night wondering if there really is a dog ! Edited May 1, 2024 by Noel Smith 5
Noel Smith Posted May 1, 2024 Posted May 1, 2024 Description of a net. A series of holes held together by string. 6
Andy H Posted May 2, 2024 Posted May 2, 2024 My neighbour's son is four years old and has been learning Spanish for a while now. So far, he can only say "Please". That's poor for four, isn't it? 1 11
psdavidson Posted May 2, 2024 Posted May 2, 2024 The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES. The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read... Main entrance. 3 7
Circloy Posted May 2, 2024 Posted May 2, 2024 21 hours ago, Noel Smith said: Description of a net. A series of holes held together by string. 5 foot 4 inch high, auburn hair, hazel eyes, ... ... Sorry I thought you said Annette 7
Fnick Posted May 3, 2024 Posted May 3, 2024 If you ever wonder how professional cyclists go to the loo during a race it's quite simple. They have two bottles: one for drinking and one for peeing. When you see a cyclist collapse by the side of the road, it's because he used the wrong bottle... 8
593jones Posted May 3, 2024 Posted May 3, 2024 (edited) 23 hours ago, Circloy said: 5 foot 4 inch high, auburn hair, hazel eyes, ... ... Sorry I thought you said Annette Mmmm, Annette! Oh, sorry, my attention wandered for a minute. Edited May 3, 2024 by 593jones 3
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