Spookytooth Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 Some vocabulary for those new to shop work - DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it. WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh--!' PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters. BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs. HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race. BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut perfectly good sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect. PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads. STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms. PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part. HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short. HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use. SON-OF-A-***** TOOL: (A personal favorite!) Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'SON-OF-A-*****!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need. Simon 2 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keeff Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 I'm going to add: POZI-DRIVE screwdriver ..... ideal for making starter holes in wood and other stuff, and due to various sizes, doubles as a useful tool for destroying Phillips screw heads COPING SAW .... probably from the same designers the Hacksaw in it's ability to produce high levels of frustration and bad language. If you really need a wobbly cut, this is the go to tool! Keith 😁 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Swindell Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 41 minutes ago, Spookytooth said: STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER The safety chisel, usually requires sharpening after purchase... 44 minutes ago, Spookytooth said: HAMMER AKA Birmingham Screwdriver VERNIER CALIPER - precision clamp or pliers, useful for holding panel pins in position to save bruising your fingers whilst hammering them in (the calipers, not the pins!) 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farmer matt Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 If I may expand on this to include materials. Superglue. An adhesive especially formulated so that the strength and speed of the bond is inversely proportional to the accuracy with which the parts are joined. Also useful for attaching thumb to forefinger, and attaching tiny pieces of brass to just about anything except the cockpit of a model aeroplane. Epoxy resin. A slow curing adhesive, formulated to permit unnoticed movement of the joined parts immediately after you have made a final check of their alignment, and only then set firmly. Also provides a security feature by ensuring that each of your builds will be identifiable by at least one of your fingerprints. Matt 4 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Robin Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 You really only need two tools in ya box. Gaffer Tape and WD40. If it moves and it's not supposed to: Gaffer Tape. If it doesn't move and it's supposed to: WD40. Problems all solved. Time for tea Regards Pete 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Puff Posted January 10 Share Posted January 10 1 hour ago, Pete Robin said: If it doesn't move and it's supposed to: WD40. And if it still doesn't move after that: Get a bigger hammer. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyboy2610 Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 7 hours ago, Farmer matt said: If I may expand on this to include materials. Superglue. Also useful for attaching thumb to forefinger Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dnl42 Posted January 11 Share Posted January 11 7 hours ago, Admiral Puff said: And if it still doesn't move after that: Get a bigger hammer. Percussive maintenance. A Chief Engineer I sailed under did indeed rely on percussive maintenance when called for, particularly for one cranky Coffin turbo fuel pump. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigdave22014 Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 We had a fitter at work who carried 3 tools. His process was: 1 - Can I fix it with my screwdriver? 2 - Can I fix it with my pliers? 3 - Can I fix it with my hammer? 4 - If no to all above, we need a new one. Put the kettle on lad. 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigsty Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 I knew of a cadet force once that had two tools, a hammer and a crowbar. They were called Brute Force and Ignorance. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pig of the Week Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 I'd like to nominate the trusy Stilson pipe wrench, replaces many sizes of spanner. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Puff Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 11 hours ago, Pig of the Week said: I'd like to nominate the trusy Stilson pipe wrench, replaces many sizes of spanner. And known to its many friends as the "Nut F***er"! 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pig of the Week Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 11 hours ago, Admiral Puff said: And known to its many friends as the "Nut F***er"! You can go a stage further though, apparently a steam loco found in Peru or somewhere had clearly always been "serviced" by having any nut undone (and done up again) entirely by hammer and cold chisel.. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandsaw Steve Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 On 06/01/2024 at 21:11, Spookytooth said: BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut perfectly good sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge. True enough, but also useful for adjusting the length of fingers and fine-tuning the attitudes of selected recalcitrant individuals. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bentwaters81tfw Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 5 hours ago, Pig of the Week said: You can go a stage further though, apparently a steam loco found in Peru or somewhere had clearly always been "serviced" by having any nut undone (and done up again) entirely by hammer and cold chisel.. Cheaper than locking wire. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noel Smith Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 (edited) Ref Simon's brilliant tongue in cheek treatise on tool misuse. Being a retired engineer I can relate to all the misuse of tools he has listed that I have seen over the years. God help us if those sort of guys get let loose on a lathe, milling machine or any other 'Serious' workshop machinery! Old engineering instruction. 'If you can't fit it, hit it with a hammer. If it still won't fit, hit it harder'. Edited January 18 by Noel Smith 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham Boak Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 Bash to fit, file to hide, paint to cover. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArnoldAmbrose Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 4 hours ago, Noel Smith said: 'If you can't fit it, hit it with a hammer. If it still won't fit, hit it harder'. Gidday, worked as a watch maker, did you? 🙂 Regards, Jeff. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhantomBigStu Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 Blue tack - a semi solid material designed to support whatever you are painting just long enough to get it good and wet so it can fall into your lap/the floor 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dnl42 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 17 hours ago, Pig of the Week said: You can go a stage further though, apparently a steam loco found in Peru or somewhere had clearly always been "serviced" by having any nut undone (and done up again) entirely by hammer and cold chisel.. I had a '61 Bug in uni, it was the perfect student vehicle. Cheap to fuel and cheap to repair. My guide for said repairs was How to Keep Your Volkswagen Alive: A Manual of Step by Step Procedures for the Compleat Idiot. It was actually quite a good book and led you through any imaginable repair. That author noted that if you didn't have the rather large socket wrench required to remove the disk drums from the axles, you could use a 5lb sledge and cold chisel. IIRC, the author did note that the nut would be limited to three service operations. 🤣 7 minutes ago, PhantomBigStu said: Blue tack - a semi solid material designed to support whatever you are painting just long enough to get it good and wet so it can fall into your lap/the floor yeah... Or blasted off by the airbrush. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pig of the Week Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 6 hours ago, dnl42 said: I had a '61 Bug in uni, it was the perfect student vehicle. Cheap to fuel and cheap to repair. My guide for said repairs was How to Keep Your Volkswagen Alive: A Manual of Step by Step Procedures for the Compleat Idiot. It was actually quite a good book and led you through any imaginable repair. That author noted that if you didn't have the rather large socket wrench required to remove the disk drums from the axles, you could use a 5lb sledge and cold chisel. IIRC, the author did note that the nut would be limited to three service operations. 🤣 For full disclosure, I confess I have in the past used a hammer (not sledge!) and chisel on land rover hub nuts when the big box spanner hasn't been available... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noel Smith Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 (edited) I always wondered why the watches I repaired would never work Jeff! Lol. Edited January 19 by Noel Smith 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farmer matt Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 May I add Cutting mat: A convenient surface on which to place your coffee cup and other items, ensuring the table is left clear for cutting on. Matt 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArnoldAmbrose Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 Work bench:- a place to store EVERYTHING in the workshop, preventing any actual work from being done. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted January 20 Author Share Posted January 20 30 minutes ago, ArnoldAmbrose said: Work bench:- a place to store EVERYTHING in the workshop, preventing any actual work from being done. Like our work benches... Simon. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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