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Terrain Safe

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About Terrain Safe

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  1. At the going down of the sun

    Remembering my Great Grandfather in 42 Brigade Royal Field Artillery, 3rd Division. Arrived in France 19/08/1914 as a Bombardier. Fought at Mons, The Somme, Ancre, Delville Wood and Arras. Came home in 1918 a Captain after going from Sargeant Major to 2nd Lieutenant in 1916. Left the army in 1920. Was never 'right' afterwards. Dies in 1930 of a stroke. Used to stand the children at the end of the garden and shoot cans off their heads! Proud to have an 'old contemptible' and my Great Grandfather. My other Great Grandfather was interned in Hertfordshire, as he was a German and worked as a waiter in London, although he came over here in 1886, and my Grandfather was put in the workhouse as there was no-one to look after him. 2 very different wars for 2 different families who would unite when my Grandparents got together. My German Great Grandfather died in 1955 still living in the same house that he was interned in, at a great age. He outlived his son.
  2. Long (ish) Jokes.

    Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant. My six-year-old grandson asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!" Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!" Hearing this, my grand-son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?" As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my grand-son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer." "Really?" my grand-son asked. "Cross my heart," the man replied. Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes." Naturally, I bought my grand-children ice cream at the end of the meal. My grandson stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Shove it up your bottom you grouchy old bitch! " Touches the heart doesn't it?
  3. Short Jokes II The Sequel

    Have you ever noticed, how a lot of F1 drivers share their names with Scottish places? Stirling Moss, Eddie Irvine, Lewis Hamilton, Ayr Town Centre...
  4. October 2017 SAMI Magazine

    Got mine on Saturday. Couple of pages missing though.
  5. Monarch ceases trading

    Monarch aircraft can't be used because A: The Administrators do not hold an AOC B: The aircraft may be impounded abroad against debts. In the UK being in administration gives protection, but these laws may not work in other countries. C: Do you want to fly with a crew that know they are about to lose their job? How do you think they must feel? D: The aircraft may be leased and so may not belong to Monarch This is why they didn't 'go bust' until the very last aircraft had landed.
  6. Sorry for the late update but I wasn't allowed to touch a keyboard for at least 48 hours. Angiogram was all OK, no other nasties lurking in the heart. Off to see a surgeon soon to go over the op and then I'll get booked in. I discovered that I'm not a good patient. Don't like needles and I bleed a lot! They had to mop the floor before I could leave the room. As I said above I'm lucky as I can get solved in one go unlike some of the above who have ongoing conditions. As for making models: I like buying and fondling them but building? Not too good at that. Cheers all
  7. I have read this thread with interest. I am off to hospital tomorrow morning for an angiogram. I've had an MRI and it turns out that I have a dilated Aortic root. No me neither. But it is quite serious and explains why I get winded if I do too much. I thought it was old age but it's not just that. So after that, I go into hospital soon for a big operation on my heart. 7-10 days in the hospital, can't drive for at least 6 weeks and probably about 3 months off work. Mrs. Safe has been cleaning everything lots to try and forget what's happening. Had a long list of jobs to do. Done most of them. Still, I'm 50 at the end of the month and it's our 30th wedding anniversary at the end of the year. All celebrations on hold until next year. Having read this thread, and my own experiences over the last month, all tell me that I'm lucky in many ways. Good luck Simon/Spookytooth.
  8. Long (ish) Jokes.

    On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a herbalist living nearby, who was rumoured to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.After some discussion with his wife, the man made a visit to the herbalist and handed his voucher over wondering what he was in for. The elderly herbalist handed a potion to the man, and with a grip on his shoulder warned,'This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say '1-2-3.'When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform as long as you want."Greatly encouraged, the man turned and started to walk away, then stopped and asked,"How do I stop the medicine from working?" The herbalist replied, "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4,' but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."Eager to see if it worked the man went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!"Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition because we could end up with a dangling participle.
  9. Short Jokes II The Sequel

    I slipped over in the library. It was in the non-friction section. What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge.
  10. ignore! cock up on the posting front!

    When does the band start? Is it wind?
  11. ignore! cock up on the posting front!

    So this is where everyone is!!
  12. RAF Fairford to become operational once more!

    Stansted runway is 3049 metres long. Gatwick 08r/26l is 3316metres. Heathrow 27r/09l is 3902 metres. Newquay (St Mawgan) is 2744 metres.
  13. F-117 was offered to the RAF

    Bet they don't find them with ground radar though!!
  14. More on Airfix 2017

    What has happened to the 1/48 Stuka? Now late 2017!! It was supposed to be available before the end of last year. The guys on the Airfix stand were miserable that they didn't have them for Telford, and now another year!! I can't wait that long.
  15. Short Jokes II The Sequel

    I came second in a Fidel Castro lookalike competition. Close, but no cigar.