Beardie

that creates some strain

and their false teeth (White man speak with forked tongue and false teeth)

Glasgow's wild east end

and now hanging around

Little to add to this as I have only ever been in court once, as a witness in a case, and nothing funny happened. I do recall tales of Sherrif David Smith at Kilmarnock who was legendary to all in Ayrshire. Famous for singing 'The Sash' in court amongst other things.

Long running grump for me is the charity (emotional blackmail) ads on the telly. I think they might as well just pick a kid from some poor, deprived place, put a gun to their head and say 'if you don't pledge a fiver every month for the next year we'll blow this one away'.

only when they're embarrassed

just like my stash (Yes welcome back TT)

Sioux'ed their donkeys off (Historical note: The Crow nation weren't in Arizona, only used for 'comic effect' such as I could manage)

for your own good

don't get worked up

tripping the light fantastic

I'm a master grumper and I'm 46 going on 106. I have to say that I feel 106 already.

they found food instead

my hair has gone