Beardie

Well Lemmy is/was a god. I met him once before a gig back in the eighties and he was just 'one of the lads' with no "look at me I'm a rock star" attitude that a lot of others had. If anything he didn't want people to treat him as anything other than a regular guy.

trying to get in (Is 'TP' cheaper over there? here it is too darned expensive to use for anything other than it's intended purpose. Well there is cheap stuff too but I wouldn't even use that to wipe my hin' end on )

Well it has now been more than three days since my package started it's forty mile journey to me. According to the tracking through ebay it has now left Airdrie and is "on it's way to the courier"??!! but, if I put the tracking number into the MyHermes website it says "Expected delivery date - Today" ???? Considering that I can see a day in the not too distant future when virtually everything except fuel and takeaway food will be delivered by some form of courier I reckon we will need to get a lot better and more efficient at transporting goods. The sad thing is that, as far as that retailer is concerned, he has lost any future business from me not because his service is poor but because his courier (Who was no cheaper than the Royal Mail) is so inefficient at their part of the job. I was speaking to our regular driver at A&M of Campbelltown recently and he was telling me that the only reason the company delivers for MyHermes is that they are running around Argyll on their other contracts and so MyHermes is sort of an 'extra' for them. He said that, if they didn't have other delivery contracts which covered these areas the MyHermes contract earns them so little that, on it's own it would be a loss to the company. This was backed up by a chat I had with our local driver for Menzies distribution (They took over an Argyllshire and Highland courier called AJC) who told me that Menzies looked at what sort of money MyHermes were talking about and promptly told them to get lost.

after the halloween party (never quite understood the American TV show ritual of 'TPing'

bit like my socks

to serve your sentence

connected to pleasure seekers

their used syringe kits

Sorry to hear of your troubles Chilli. It is true what they say about "You can choose your friends but you can't choose your enemies - sorry families". It is often very easy to dismiss men in such situations as weak or pushovers but we all find ourselves in situations at times where we are under severe pressure and we have to make a choice between staying and fighting on or losing everything and trying to re-build. No laughing matter at all. As I said, I have known a few men over the years who put up with a tremendous amount of abuse from their 'significant other' and they must have been tough to stick it out rather than run or, alternatively, resort to murder. It is odd as well, that some of those same men, oppressed by home life were far from 'wilting violets' outside of the home. My own grandfather on my fathers side was ruled by his wife in the home, loved to bake cakes, embroider and knit but outside he was a hard as nails former HLI sergeant, HGV mechanic and rubbed shoulders with/was respected by some of the biggest gangsters in Glasgow in the 40's and 50's.

toilets should be avoided (Many years ago I worked in stage security at venues including Glastonbury festival and, at Glastonbury, we were provided with these Toilet blocks in the staff comppound which used a water recycling system (Toilet and wash water!) and as the festival progressed, the water in the toilets and TAPS went from clear to 'tea' to cocoa to foaming cocoa! Needless to say all our security staff were drinking beer and not washing or showering after the first couple of days)

Even sending/receiving stuff locally in the UK can be interesting. I recently bought a CD set from a company via ebay. I didn't realise that the company was only 40 miles away in Clydebank or I might well have gone and collected it personally. The company have arranged for it to be transported to me via MyHermes that oh so efficient company. So far it has been collected by a courier on behalf of MyHermes and, one day later, it has now 'entered the MyHermes network' at their Airdrie depot which is oh, maybe twenty miles further away from me. If my experience of MyHermes is still accurate it will now travel from there to the depot of a company called A&M Transport of Campbelltown at Johnstone some forty miles away from me on the other side of the Firth of Clyde. Once it reaches there a Lorry from A&M transport will take it to their Campbelltown depot by driving through Argyll past the road to my village and all the way to the southermost tip of Argyll where it will finally be put on a van and driven back to me. By the time it arrives, from the seller 40 miles away, it will have travelled a couple of hundred miles and taken over a week to get here. If that ain't crazy I don't know what is!

unless trying to fly

Ideally I would like to be able to equip an imaginary version of every squadron and Jasta of WWI through all their aircraft rosters but storage would be a bit of a problem even when still boxed rather than built

As for the SWMBO debate. I would like to think that we all know that is just an 'in joke'. My wife would never stop me buying a kit if I want it. It's like Arfur Daley and 'er indoors'. I very much doubt that there is a man on here who refers to SWMBO who is not a 'proper man' whatever that is. Just because we care what our wives/partner think and, sometimes, use them as purely imaginary stumbling blocks in the way of our spending too much money on plastic (or anything else) means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. I have know men who were genuinely dominated by their partners and, believe me, they wouldn't even be allowed to think about buying anything for themselves. I have known two guys in the past who literally handed their wages over to She who MUST be obeyed and, if they were lucky they would be handed back a little money for a cup of tea or a pack of fags. In one instance it was a work colleague and we actually ordered him to get away from his missus and he agreed. At the end of the working day we drove the lorry past his mothers house and dropped him off there only to be told that another one of our drivers saw him every day running from where his mother lived as soon as we were out of sight back to the house he shared with his missus and her five kids (not his). Now that is really a beaten man.

That advert is 'rank' and wrong on so many levels when you even give it even a slight amount of thought. Is the M&M thinking it's going to have sex with her? Is the Peanut M&M even more of a pervert watching from the wardrobe? Is the Peanut M&M waiting for his turn? Is the woman really going to devour a sentient M&M alive? What did Scott have planned for the M&M? Just how do you slaughter an M&M? Do live M&M's require cooking before you can eat them? Why don't the M&M's in a shop bought bag have arms and legs and eyes? Are they related to the haggis and lose their appendages in the act of mating?