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About Kiwidave4

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  • Birthday 26/12/45

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    New Zealand

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  1. Short Jokes II The Sequel

    How do you milk sheep? Release a new iPhone.
  2. Long (ish) Jokes.

    A man went into an antiques shop to buy a table. Almost at once, he saw the table he wanted, and asked for the price. "£2,000, sir" "Never!" exclaimed the man, "that's unbelievably expensive." "That's true," replied the assistant, "but this is not just any table. This piece of furniture has special powers." "Go on, prove it," said the man. The assistant went up to the table and said, "How many floors are there in this building?" Immediately, the table jumped into the air four times, and indeed there were four floors in the building. The man wasn't completely convinced. "OK, ask it how much money I've got in my wallet." The question was asked and the table jumped up eleven times. "That's incredible," said the man, "It's true, I've got two £5 notes and a £1 coin. I must have that table." So the man paid the £2,000 and the antique table was delivered the next day. While it was being installed, his mate popped over and remarked on the new piece of furniture. "It's very special," said the man. "Here, I'll show you." He thought for a moment and then said, "How much money has my wife got in her bank account?" The table went completely berserk. It started jumping up and down and was still going 10 minutes later. Flabbergasted he said, "But how can that be? Where did she get all that money?" The table stopped moving, its legs slid apart and its drawers fell to the floor.
  3. Short Jokes II The Sequel

    Sir Cliff Richard has been suffering from much online abuse recently. He's got himself some spying, talking ,tweeting, stalking, living trolls.
  4. Short Jokes II The Sequel

    I went to the off licence this afternoon on my bicycle and bought a bottle of Scotch which I put in the bicycle basket. As I was about ride away I thought to myself, "If I fall off this bicycle that bottle could break."So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seventeen times on the way home.
  5. 1/12 Tamiya Suzuki GSX1100S Katana

    Very nice, and a smashing paint job!
  6. Modelling in Wood - discuss!

    When I was a lad plastic kits were still relatively new and there were wood kits which had the basic shape already sawn out of the tree so the modeller just had to whittle the finished shape. I only made a couple as my whittling skills left much to be desired....they still do! I find it much easier to fabricate than to sculpt, and in those days of little money and no TV I turned to card modelling as an easier option. In the sixties I was in a slot car club where one talented lad used to carve 1/32nd bodies from the latest Model Cars plans which he would use to make vac form bodies from.
  7. Short Jokes II The Sequel

    I have just been diagnosed with a condition where I deny the existence of certain 80's bands.There is no Cure!
  8. Strange conversations

    Most amusing conversation I have overheard was a few years ago. I was walking through town and found myself behind an elderly lady. As I caught up to her and was about to pass she greeted another elderly lady who was coming in the opposite direction, "Hello Gladys, how are you." Just caught the second ladies response as I passed them, "I am very well thanks, but I am not Gladys."
  9. Short Jokes II The Sequel

    Just had a bloke try to sell me a dead budgie, and it wasn't even going cheap.
  10. Really nicely done. Looks very convincing. Dave
  11. Short Jokes II The Sequel

    A biologist and a physicist had a relationship. It did not work out...there was no chemistry.
  12. Fabulous! Great choice of subject, and as someone whose woodworking skills are limited to making firewood I am in awe of your workmanship. You mention a lack of detail, but I think that is the appeal. Less detail serves to accentuate the lines of these classic Ferraris, - the GTO looks even more voluptuous with no windows.
  13. New Toy

    I recall parts of the UK being congested in the sixties so can only guess at what its like now. We certainly have a little less traffic but I would suggest you have not experienced nutcases till you drive here! Seems every second car driver is on their phone, high on meth, drunk, eating their Big Mac, or arguing with the wife and kids....often all at the same time!
  14. New Toy

    I haven't ridden a W800 but from comments I have heard I would suggest you try a Bonneville before you decide. The W800 is an evolution of a thirty year old model where the Bonne is a 21st century design. Does not cost anything to test ride and its that best you are 100% sure before handing over the dosh.
  15. New Toy

    Thanks Steve, yes its Paekakariki a couple of weeks ago...that was the last time the sun shone long enough for a ride!