nheather

Wow, amazing presentation.

Awesome job. Have you painted the insignia or used decals - and if decals, how did you get them to sit so perfectly on the corrugated surfaces? Cheers, Nigel

A very drunk Paddy met up a prostitute up a dark alleyway. He asks "How much for full sex", "£20" she replies. "OK" says Paddy and they get down to business. Next minute a cop appears and shines a torch in their faces "Hello, what's going on here then" he asks. "Nothing Officer, just having sex with my wife" say Paddy. "Sorry Sir" apologises the cop, "I didn't realise it was your wife" Paddy shouts "Neither did I till you shone your torch in her fecking face" Cheers, Nigel

I’m betting on the Panzerschreck 😀 Great build, amazed to read that it is 1:72. Cheers, Nigel

My two favourite translation funnies came from an engineering project that I worked on back in the early 1990s. This was putting a factory into Armenia and the documentation we saw involved a fair amount of text that had originally be taken from English technical specifications, embodied in a Russian document and then translated back into English. The first, and runner up to the top spot was The room of the man that cannot see This turned out to be referring to a aspect of the way the ICL System 25 computer organises its programs called a “Blind Partition”. And the winner, and my absolute favourite Water Goats This had us really puzzled for some time before some bright spark realised it was referring to “Hydraulic Rams”. Cheers, Nigel

A month before my wedding, my fiancée told me she mistakenly left her favorite hoodie at her sister's apartment and asked me to go get it. I knocked on the door and her sister answered, wearing yoga pants and a low-cut top. I'd always thought my fiancée's sister was hot but she was exceptionally sexy today. Her hair was still wet from a shower and when she gave me a hug I could smell the incredible lotion she always used. She brought out the hoodie for me and as I was about to turn and leave she said "What's your hurry?" I replied, "no hurry, just wanted to let you get back to whatever you were doing." She said, "I know you're about to marry my sister, but I need you to know I think you're super hot, and I've always wanted to have sex with you. If you want to have a last little bit of fun before you walk down that aisle, it will stay between us forever." Without saying a word I turned and bolted for the door as fast as I could, making a bee line for my car. As I approached the car, I see my fiancée and her parents standing there with huge smiles on their faces. Her dad immediately said, "son, you just passed a pretty hard test there and I want you to know how happy I am to see my daughter marry such an upstanding young man." The sister was now walking up from behind and she said, "I have to hand it to you there; I didn't think you'd turn me down." I was dumbfounded. We all hugged and went out for dinner. And the moral of the story is: Always keep your condoms in your glove compartment of your car. Cheers, Nigel

A young Arab boy asks his father “What is that strange hat you are wearing?” The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.” "And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy. “Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father “It is very simple. This is a 'djellaba.' As I have told you, in the desert it is not only very hot, but the sand is always blowing. My djellaba protects the entire body." The son then asked: "But Father, what about those ugly shoes you have on your feet?” "These are 'babouches' my son,” the father replied. You must understand that although the desert sands are very beautiful, they are also extremely hot. These babouches keep us from burning our feet." "So tell me then," added the boy. "Yes, my son…” "Why are we wearing all this sh*t when we live in Birmingham?" Cheers, Nigel

Just received an email about sale prices on some badger airbrushes at Barwell Bodyworks https://barwellbodyworks-shop.com/6-airbrushes?p=2 Note that I have no connection with the company nor am I a Badger user. Just posting here because there looks like some good deals that you may be interested in. Cheers, Nigel

So just read your post better and you mention small parts like switches and ejection handles. I reckon that if you put a sand or light grey down first, I think the acrylic yellow or white would be good enough with a single coat. Cheers, Nigel

White, Yellow and Red are some of the most notoriously difficult paints to use - this is because the pigment is not very opaque. Not sure what you are painting, but in figure painting the advice is to put an undercoat down first. So for yellow, put down a coat of light brown or sand first. For white, put down light grey. For red, something like a pink. I have used this successfully but only in figure painting - not sure how well it would work for large surfaces (like an aircraft wing). Cheers, Nigel

I know you say your budget is flexible. As I guide are we talking £50, £100, £150, £200? With that info I could give you some suggestions. And do you want to stick to traditional airbrushes or do you like the idea of the gun trigger types. Cheers, Nigel

I’m an Iwata user but I would second the recommendation of H&S. I came close to buying H&S but was working in the US and was able to pick up two Iwatas for the same price as the H&S 2in1. That is a peculiarity of the US though, Iwatas are much cheaper over there. So why would I recommend the H&S over Iwata in the UK. 1) there will be fanboys of each but looking objectively, I think they are both as good as each other, little to choose in quality and performance 2) generally the H&S is simpler to strip down, clean and maintain. The possible exception is the Iwata Eclipse which is a similar design to the H&S 3) you tend to get more bells and whistles on the H&S for the same price point 4) the H&S 2 in 1 is a nice feature and goog value. Personally I don’t like swapping needles and nozzles about too much. The H&S makes this easier though I still prefer two brushes. Mind you I expect, most of the time you will use the 0.4mm only occasionally swapping over to a 0.2mm.so there probably isn’t as much swapping as I would imagine. 5) apart from the Eclipse, the Iwata nozzles are tiny, easier to break easier to lose 6) Iwata spare parts are eye-wateringly expensive. Not had to replace anything yet but this may become a source of buyer’s regret for me. I believe H&S are now owned by Iwata. Note Iwata do a cheaper range called Neo, think they are made in China rather than Japan but I have used some and they seem very good for the money. If you want something in between eBay clones and the premium brands then both Sparmax and Iwata Neo have offerings, but some of the cheaper H&S are in that territory too. I don’t know Badger very well, but they look to have some nice looking brushes at decent prices. If I were buying a premium brush in the UK then I would choose between H&S, Iwata and Badger and would most likely go with an H&S 2in1. Cheers, Nigel

There is no way that I would get that coverage over black with just one coat with the bottle I have. Would take at least three coats to even begin to start looking like that. Cheers, Nigel

Well my test patch has three coats of Bright Brass and it still looks like clear varnish with a little gold glitter in it. Whereas the other metallic have a full smooth cover in just one coat. Either I have a duff bottle or Vallejo Bright Brass is a truly terrible paint that should never have been allowed to leave the factory. Cheers, Nigel

It's the cleaning bit that concerns me, especially as I will be using a primer that sticks to anything like mad. Cheers, Nigel

All I have done so far, is sprayed a piece of plasticard with white primer and painted some test patches of each of the colours, all worked well apart from the Bright Brass which was terrible. Golds from other ranges don't have any problem. So when you say undercoat, what do you mean, primer or an undercoat of a yellow or brown before you put the brass on. For me undercoating would be a pain - okay on large areas but I'm usually looking to put a dab on a cap badge or some buttons, all very tiny and needing a steady hand so it would be nice if the paint went on first time. Cheers, Nigel

Just bought some Vallejo Model Air metallics. I wanted some metallics for wargaming miniatures. I typically do 15/18mm so I wanted some metallics that were fine as the big grained ones like Vallejo Game Color don't look good at that scale. I also wanted water-based and didn't want to spend a lot so ruled at the specialist metal paints. They were also for brush painting, and have been advised that the Model Air works well. I'd heard mostly good things about Vallejo Model Air, but I was warned about two things 1) Their silvers, aluminium, silver and chrome are difficult to tell apart so don't waste your money, just buy one. 2) Their gold is a terrible colour - has a green tint. So I did some research and it did seem that the golds were an odd colour but those comments were old, and Vallejo had reformulated. The more recent reviews seemed better. Also advised that the Gold and Bright Brass and hard to tell apart, the brass being a little lighter and brighter. So this is what I went for Silver Steel Gun Metal Black Metal Bright Brass Copper Rust Opinions. Well all apart from the Bright Brass (more of that later) are very good. The coverage is good even when brush painted and the pigment is fine. I went overboard on the silvers I guess, as I could have achieved the steel, gun metal and black metal by just adding black to the silver but happy with the convenience. Little disappointed with the steel - I was warned that silver, aluminium and chrome all look the same but there really isn't that much difference between silver and steel to be honest. But getting on to the Bright Brass (I assume the gold is the same as they are practically the same colour). It looks okay in the bottle, not really bright like polished brass, more subdued but nice enough. It even looks okay on the palette. But that is where it ends. Try and paint with it and it is all medium with some pigment floating around. My first thought is that I'd caught the top of the bottle which wasn't mixed. So put in on the electric shaker and shook it hard by hand - there is a 1/4" ball bearing in there to help things along. Nope, still the same. At this point, I was convinced that the medium must be stuck at the bottom as a sludge, so armed with a stirring stick I open the bottle. Nope it is all mixed nicely. So in summary the Vallejo Model Air Bright Brass is total and utter rubbish. What puzzles me is how do Vallejo, a company with just one job to do, make paint, actually allow this to happen. What was going through the minds of the developers and testers who tested this paint and said "yes that looks good to go". I can only imagine that they knew it was Bright Brass because it was embossed in braille on the bottle. Perhaps their guide dogs saw a rabbit, started barking and the Vallejo testers took that to mean that the paint was good. And bear in mind this is their second attempt, their new and improved formula. Their first attempt was positively green They got slated and they said "okay, we accept that it is rubbish we are going to reformulate it". But joking aside, I have no idea how Vallejo let this out of their factory - other manufacturers can produce gold paint so why do Vallejo find it so difficult. Moral and advice - DO NOT BUY Vallejo Gold or Bright Brass - spend your hard earned money on another brand. Cheers, Nigel

I suspect that it needs thinning - I haven't tried it through an airbrush, but I do brush paint wargaming miniatures using it and it often goes on nicely in a single coat. My guess is if it will cover easily with a brush then it is too thick for an airbrush. Cheers, Nigel

What do you guys think of side feed airbrushes. The Sparmax DH-125 has caught my eye as a 0.5mm airbrush that my serve my purpose. The only thing that is unusual is that it has a side feed - good because you can have a gravity fed cup or suction fed bottles, but wondering whether that makes it awkward to clean. Cheers, Nigel

I actually already have that, bought for that purpose, but perhaps I’m being silly, I prefer not to use it because primer sticks to everything like mad and takes some vigorous cleaning to remove, and I’d prefer not to do that on the elcipse. I also prefer not to keep taking it apart to swap parts about. I also have an old Badger 200 single action, internal mix, suction feed. I’m not sure what the nozzle size is though because badger just use fine, medium, large for this model. Mine is a medium but when I tried it with stynylrez neat (as instructed) I got frequent clogging. Stynlyrez instructions recommend a 0.5mm, but not sure what my Badger 200 is. Cheers, Nigel

I have two Iwata airbrushes, an Eclipse (0.35mm) and an HP-Plus (0.2mm). Wouldn’t mind a 0.5mm just for primer (like Stynylrez). But as I will just be spraying a base on relatively large areas (mostly 1:35 armour) it seems a waste to spend a good chunk of money on a decent airbrush. At the same time, pointless buying junk. Appreciate any recommendations. Cheers, Nigel

Hi, Forgive me, I know the "what colour were the undersides of RAF fighters painted" is an often asked question and the answer is not straight forward but bear with me. I'm not generally an aircraft modeller, but I have some small models to paint up for a Battle of Britain wargame - I'm not too bothered by absolute accuracy but I want them to look about right. The easiest paints for me to get hold of are Vallejo. When it comes to RAF undersides they offer three choices 71.009 Eau de Nil "Duck Egg Green" 71.302 Sky Type S 71.404 No 1 Sky Blue "Duck Egg Blue" Looking at some actual paint swatches, the Sky Type S looks like a light colour with a subtle green hint, the Eau de Nil looks much more green and the Sky Blue looks like Light Blue. Appreciating that there is evidence that different colours where used, but which of these would have been the most common. Cheers, Nigel

A ventriloquist walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He decides to have a bit of fun, so he says to the villager "can I talk to your dog?" Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, its just a dog stupid " Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?" Dog: "Doin' all right thanks." Villager: (look of extreme shock) Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager) Dog: "Yep" Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?" Dog: "Quite good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play." Villager: (look of utter disbelief) Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think." Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?" Horse: "Cool" Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded) Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager) Horse: "Yep" Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?" Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements." Villager: (total look of amazement) Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your goat?" Villager: (in a panic) "The goat's a fudgeing liar!" Cheers, Nigel

A husband and wife who worked for the circus went to an adoption agency. Social workers there raised doubts about their suitability. The couple produced photos of their 50-foot motor home, which was clean, well maintained and equipped with a beautiful bedroom for the child. The social workers raised concerns about the education a child would receive while in the couple's care. "We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills." The social workers expressed concern about a child being raised in a circus environment. "Our nanny is a certified expert in paediatric care, welfare, and diet. In addition, there are 17 other children who travel with their circus parents." The social workers were finally satisfied. They asked, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?" "It doesn't really matter, as long as the kid fits into the cannon." A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry.... we can't hire you." "But wait," the man says. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!" "Really? Great! Show me!" So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavoured condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking. "Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanising all over the country!" "Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!" "Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?" "Oh, that," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?" Cheers, Nigel

Thanks, I've been reading quite a bit and seen plenty of criticism for Vallejo matches. Frankly it annoys me a great deal - it's one thing when someone says "use this generic green from their range it is close enough" but when they sell something labelled with an RLM, FS, RAL or BS number it should be pretty damn close - I'm not after perfection but should be close enough. From what I have read some Vallejo paints don't come close to the reference numbers they are sold as - false advertising. Cheers, Nigel