Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'Amazon is cool. But also a bit silly.'.
Found 1 result
So I thought this was a bit strange and I felt the need to tell this tale to you. Let me start at the beginning. So, last Tuesday, last Tuesday was an ordinary day. I came home from work and had an ordinary evening, you know, making someting to eat, doing the dishes, yelling at the neighbour because he peed in the bushes again... ordinary. And as per usual on ordinary evenings, I fired up the old computer and did what I usually do on the computer, going to britmodeller, getting seduced by one of mikes reviews followed by a visit to an online retailer of one sort or another to buy the thing that mike made me want to have. Ordinary. So this time I went to Amazon and found and ordered the thing which was the Special Hobby Ju 88 C4. And it went splendidly, I pushed the buttons and confirmed the things and all went well. They told me that I was to hold it in my hands on Thursday. Since I work I had them send it to the office or oaffice if you are from brooklyn. Which I am not, but that is another story, I just thought that brooklynites have a great way to say office. In any case, when you order from Amazon here in Germany, at least where I am, there are by and large three ways the thing comes to you. 1. They send it with DHL. That's good because that means it will actually come on the day they told you it would. 2. They send it with DPD. That's good too because that means it will actually come on the day they told you it would. Mostly. 3. They send it with Hermes. That's bad news because there is a specific driver around here who either doesn't know what he is doing or he does know what he is doing and just hates my guts. Which is ok, I hate his guts to. Very hatable guts. But it will arrive. Kind of. Eventually. They mostly use DHL here so I didn't worry and just sat back and twiddled my thumbs. Is it Thursday yet? Well, Thursday I was sat there, in the oaffice. Could it be "oaffice" because there are oafs in offices? Anyway, I was sat there designing the world. It was a Flyer with the title "the world". The thing didn't come. That's ok, I didn't really expect it to show up on time. So Friday I was sat there again. Today it comes for sure. It didn't. So I thought to myself that maybe I should do what probably most people do when they order from Amazon. Check the confimation emails they send. Maybe the Wife has a deal with them. Maybe there is a framed picture of me at the wall of some office at amazon with the caption "do not sell modelkits to this man". Maybe that picture is in every office at amazon. I could not check my emails at the office because I had recently changed the password to some expert level abomination that would make rainman whimper in terror. So I jumped into the hoppiemobile and went home. Yelling at urinator, chasing neighbour dog, fireing up computer, searching for that darn piece of paper that has the password. So I looked at the mails. The first mail was the order confirmation and said it would be in my greedy hands on Friday. Which is a bit strange because when I ordered it it said Thursday. Not tragic. The interesting thing was in the second mail, the confirmation of shipping. This one said that they had send it with "Hermes Einrichtungs Service", roughly translated that means something like "Hermes set up service". Which was funny because I felt a bit set up myself. They had done a great job and they had not even arrived yet. I didn't know what kind of Hermes branch that was so I researched it. Aparently, this is a 2-man service for big stuff. Suppose you buy, I don't know, a refrigerator or a monster truck. Then they send it with that service because there are two guys and they are strong enough to carry the thing and put it right where you want it. So I immediately checked to see if I had accidently bought a real world war two twin engine nightfighter all for less than 50 Euros (ammo not included). But alas, no. So they say that the box has a weight of about 500 grams, roughly 1.1 pound. Now, I know what you are thinking, it seems a bit excessive to use a two man team of manly man to carry a 1.1 pound box all of 10 meters from the parking lot to the officedoor. But remember, there is packaging too, that has to bring it up to 1.5, maybe even 1.6 pound. What was also interesting in confirmation of shipping is this: They didn't say it would arrive friday as confirmation of ordering had done. They said that it would arrive within 5 days STARTING from that Friday. So they tell you that it will come on day X and then one day later they tell you that it will come within 5 days starting from day x. What? But it gets better. That mail also said that I was going to be contaced by the delivery service within two days to, well, to arrange a date of delivery. So I thought how, how are they going to contact me? Phone? Do they even have my phone number? Turns out they do. An old one. I never bothered to update it because I didn't anticipate that I would have to have a phone conversation with to men about the best time to deliver a modelkit when in the past the damn thing would just show up like magic. So I went into the garden because I needed to yell at someone. But the bush urinator was not there. I needed you peeman and you let me down. So, the phone number. Funny story, someone else has that number now. I don't know that person, but I know it has been reasigned. How do I know? Well, my mum tried to call me a couple days ago and accidently used the wrong number. So, some person somewhere was called a few days ago by an older lady who went: "Hoppie, is that you love, what happened to your voice, did you drink your coffee too hot again? I told you, if it looks like tar and smells like tar and is scalding hot like tar it can't be good for you love". And now that same person must have recieved a phone call that might have gone something like this: "Hoppie? We got your Nazi thing mate, let's meet so we can give you your Nazi thing so you can do your Nazi stuff mate". I bet that poor guy did nazi that coming. Ok, I stole that joke. But it's a good one. So, next thing was that I sent a mail to Amazon to tell them my woes. I did not complain about Hermes because this is not their fault, I only wanted to know from Amazon if they are using that 2-man service on a regular basis for small stuff because that wont work for me. And I told them that the phone number they gave Hermes is the wrong one. They answered me. They said that I am the king of customers and that right now, they have two teams, one that is complaining to Hermes for something that is not the fault of Hermes and one that is shoveling ash on someones head. And I think there might also be some mortification of the flesh. They said they put the fear of god into Hermes and they told them to call me. That poor guy with my old number probably has a folder on me by now. In short, their answer had no relation to the questions I asked. But all was not lost, I had ordered a second kit as well. And that one arrived today. Or rather, it would have. But I overslept and when the doorbell rang, I wasn't fast enough because I could't find my pants. And while I really really wanted that second kit, I was not willing to risk jail for indecent exposure at worst or having to yell "no, it's just really cold out" at best. So now, here I am no Modelkits. Redaction, I wrote that I have no modelkits. The Wife read that and asked me if I had taken a look into the cellar, the attic and "that hole you call your hobbyroom" recently. To which I said, alright, that's fair enough then. So now, here I am without THOSE TWO SPECIFIC MODELKITS. I don't know how this will continue, I guess we'll see monday. This whole thing just seemd absurd to me and I had to write it down. If you made it this far, thank you for reading and have a nice day.