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Short clean jokes. Mk.Vl.


Bullbasket

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A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old a*se?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."

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On 05/05/2024 at 11:00, Bullbasket said:

A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old a*se?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."


my wife laughed her head off and sent that to all the ladies in her address book

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23 minutes ago, Pete Robin said:

I get really upset by people who use the wrong word and don't have the humidity to admit it.

 

Regards

Pete

You need a dry sense of humour to get along with them....

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5 hours ago, Pete in Lincs said:

I've never cleaned the bathroom mirror. Do you think that reflects badly on me?

That deserves to be lost in the mist of time

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13 hours ago, Pete in Lincs said:

I've never cleaned the bathroom mirror. Do you think that reflects badly on me?

No more than normal.

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On 07/05/2024 at 13:24, Pete in Lincs said:

I've never cleaned the bathroom mirror. Do you think that reflects badly on me?

 

Well it takes the shine off

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Spring Rhapsody

 


Is this a real cold? 
Is it just allergies? 
Caught in a landslide 
Of pollen falling off the trees 
Open your eyes 
Look up to the skies and sneeze 
I'm out of Kleenex 
Need antihistamines 
Because my stopped-up nose 
Cannot blow 
Fever's high 
Then it's low 
Any way the wind blows 
It's always full of pollen 
For me... 
For me... 

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When you're dancing with your honey

And your nose gets kinda runny

People think it's funny

But it's snot!

 

 

 

Chris

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Animal: "Eat drums, eat drums!"

Dr. Teeth: "No, Animal, it's BEAT drums, beat drums!"

Animal: "Beat drums, beat drums!"

I loved the Muppet Show! 😄

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An F-16 with a faulty engine requests landing clearance, the tower comes back & denies clearance as they have a B-52 with engine difficulty needing to land. The F-16 pilot responds "Oh yes the ever tricky 7 engine landing".

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On 5/11/2024 at 3:40 AM, flyboy2610 said:

Animal: "Eat drums, eat drums!"

Dr. Teeth: "No, Animal, it's BEAT drums, beat drums!"

Animal: "Beat drums, beat drums!"

I loved the Muppet Show! 😄

Best Animal quote ever,

 

"What's Animal doing?"

"He's just having a TV dinner."

"I hope he heated it up correctly,"

"Heated it up? Man, he didn't even unplug it!"

 

Selwyn

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1 hour ago, 2996 Victor said:

Much as I hate to blow my own trumpet.....

GNNPUxd-Xs-AAJYMZ.jpg

 

Phone 101 and the police will be with you toot's sweet!

 

Selwyn

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I got this very cheap Star trek Doctor action figure. It's pretty shoddy though. I don't think it's the real McCoy

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45 minutes ago, Pete in Lincs said:

I got this very cheap Star trek Doctor action figure. It's pretty shoddy though. I don't think it's the real McCoy

It's life, Jim, but not as you know it.

 

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13 hours ago, 2996 Victor said:

Much as I hate to blow my own trumpet.....

I expect that will be the last post on this subject.

 

John.

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On 5/11/2024 at 10:40 AM, flyboy2610 said:

I loved the Muppet Show!

       I loved the Muppet Movie, the number of really big-time actors playing two-bit parts. I think my favorite though was James Coburn as he gets thrown out of the "El Sleezo Cafe" and lands in the trash cans.

 

Kermit - "Rough place?"

Coburn - "That's the toughest, meanest, filthiest pest hole on the face of the earth!"

Kermit - "Why not complain to the owner?"

Coburn (Looking indignant) - I AM the owner."       😁

 

Regards, Jeff.

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