Things your children and grandchildren say that crack you up.

[Whofan]

My grandson, aged 3 years 11 months has a habit of coming out with things that just crack us up, the problem is remembering sometimes what he said!

 

It's not just the things he's said, of course, it's the way he tells them! I'm sure most parents/grandparents here will have a similar experience with things their children/grandchildren have said!

 

We very fondly remember these little gems;

 

Grandson tucking into his lunch; nana says

 

"Do you like it? Is it delicious?"

 

Grandson - deadpan - "no" ( 2 second pause) "it's yummy"

 

Mum is asking (our) grandson what happens when he stays with us.

 

Mum; "what does grandad do? "

 

Grandson - deadpan - "he fixes things"

 

Mum - "what does nana do?"

 

 Grandson -deadpan - "she watches tv"

 

Completely ignoring the fact that nana does all the cooking, etc.!

Edited April 21, 2023 by Whofan

[Mike]

My lad used to watch Wayne Carrini's Car Chaser, or whatever it's called, and as a 5 or 6 year-old he once came out with "My name's Poo Carrini, and I poo classic cars".  You probably had to be there, but he had us rolling in the aisles at the time.

[JohnT]

My son aged 16 then on finding himself stranded on the loo with just the cardboard roll and no paper :-

 

In a shouty pleading tone

 

“Dad - I know we have had our differences in the past.”

 

Nice try and had to give him that one. Left him a new loo roll about twelve feet outside the door. I’m not all bad. 
 

[593jones]

On one occasion I had done a larger than usual shop and the fridge was very well stocked.  My daughter, who was quite young at the time, opened it looked at the contents for a while, then said 'Have we won the lottery?'

[treker_ed]

I was about 15 or so and decided to answer back to my dad. Can't remember the debate, but I turned round to him and just came out with " what's that I can smell.. oh yes it's you talking out your backside ..."  The look on his face was priceless, he just stopped speaking in shock! I could see my mum in the kitchen crying with laughter. And what did I do.... Ran as quick as I could up the stairs and beat a very hasty retreat to my room... I wasn't hanging around for the aftermath of that comment!!!😆🙂

[Fnick]

I am somewhat follically challenged on the top of my head. One time my kids asked me:

 

"Papa when you last went to the hairdresser's did they just cut some off the top and forgot about the sides and back!"

 

Thanks for that...

 

Nick

[Alex Gordon]

A mate of mine from many moons ago found his four year old self at a funeral.

 

"What's in the box Mum?"

[Nigel Bunker]

I remember a tale my mother told me in the eighties. A friend of hers (a widow) had her recently married daughter visiting and the daughter was moaning that with the mortgage, etc., money was very tight. She finished the moan to her mother with "Of course, we'll never have much money until you die." Fortunately her mother found this so funny that she told it to my mother.

[Bullbasket]

Not so much something that was said, rather something that my son did. When he was about eight years old (he's now 56), he came downstairs one morning with blood running down his cheek. His Mum screamed and went into panic mode, and I didn't help by bursting out laughing, because I twigged straight away what he's done. He'd cut himself shaving!! 8 years old!! Fortunately, it was only a nick, but he stayed away from razors for several years.

 

John.

[Paul Lucas]

I once knew someone who was a member of the Territorial Army. On one occasion, he called at the house of some mutual friends on his way to Parade Night in uniform whilst I was visiting.

 

On hearing the door bell, my friends, who had a son, then aged six or so, sent him to answer the door. 

 

We heard the door open, then silence. 

 

Mum says "who is it?"

 

A very excited six year old comes running down the hall and bursts into the kitchen eyes wide with amazement and exclaims 

 

"Mummy, mummy, it's Action Man!"

 

[whitestar12chris]

A while back took a grandaughter to see grease on stage at a local theatre. It came to the musical number hand jive.

 

In a raised voice she said im learning this at school its called the "hand job", needless to say the people around us started laughing.

[Black Knight]

This may not translate too well, but I'll try;

When my No.1 favourite dottir was young two of her older brothers took her to see the Disney film 'Frozen'

Sometime after she was telling one of our friends about going to see a film

She couldn't quite remember the name and said it was called 'Foundered' - which is an Ulsterism people say when they are cold and/or wet

And like many wee girls she took to singing one of film's songs. But she couldn't remember all the lines, just the main refrain which she translated to 'Let it grow'

 

Well, we found it amusing at the time

[Circloy]

Looking back it's amusing now, but at the time, not so much funny more downright annoying.

 

Had taken one of my nephews out for his first trip behind a steam engine, he'd be about 5 or 6 at the time, and we were travelling to the preserved line by train and as we passed through a station he asked a refectly reasonable question for his age, along the lines of "What's that station?" I reply with the name. Then it started, "why is it called ...", - Because that's the name of the town, "Why is that the name of the town?", Because..., "Why"

 

3 - 4 times is reasonable

 

5 is usually sufficient to get the the root cause of any (quality) issues

 

by 7 or 8 I think i'd run out of answers and was 'inventing' answers. However it continued to maybe 12 by which time, besides wishing I could hand him back to my sister, I'd no option but to resort to a coupe of rounds of "Because it is" before it ended.

[Bigdave22014]

I was irritating my mother in the Supermarket (nagging that I wanted something) and she exclaimed "Why should I buy you that? What have you ever done for me?"

My reply - "I've given you someone to love and cherish for the last 14 years".