Pete in Lincs Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 It's odd how there's a stairway to Heaven, yet there's a ROAD to Hell. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian Posted January 21 Author Share Posted January 21 3 hours ago, corsaircorp said: No need for it, last sacraments are delivered before boarding that thing.... Just for once CC beat me to it, have an extra wibble point CC. 3 hours ago, LorenSharp said: Or the finest of half price French Bordellos' How do you know? Just asking on behalf of Mrs Loren. 2 hours ago, LorenSharp said: But by the same token I can also hear Martian saying....JAAANNNE Get me off this crazy thing! Even I am not quite insane enough to get into this thing, Nearly but not quite. 20 minutes ago, Pete in Lincs said: It's odd how there's a stairway to Heaven, yet there's a ROAD to Hell. This reminds me of a strange dream/nightmare I had a few nights ago. I dreamt that I had died and was waiting at the Pearly Gates for my turn to be checked in. Quiet in the cheap seats, can we just run with the admittedly strange concept of Martian ever being admitted to Heaven for a moment? Anyway there was quite a queue and St Peter was apologising for any delay in admissions but the Angels were on strike and he was having to let the most urgent cases in first and deal with the backlog later. he turns to the first chap in the queue and asks him what he did in life? The guy replies that he was a decorator. "Sorry" says St Peter, "God has just got Michelangelo to spruce the place up a bit. You will have to wait a bit longer." The next person that St Peter speaks to said she was a carpenter in life. "Sorry" says St Peter, "JC is a carpenter by trade and has pretty much got that line of work cornered ,I'm afraid you will have to wait a bit longer as well." The next person in the queue, when questioned, mentioned that he had been a shrink on Earth. At this point there was an enormous BEAH! from beyond the gates. "You had better come in quick" says St Peter "We have got trouble with God. He thinks he is @general melchett!" Hoping God Has Got A Sense of Humour of Mars 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian Posted January 21 Author Share Posted January 21 Well, news doesn't come much hotter of the presses than this update. Literally as I was doing the pictures, Mrs Martian came in and said "this seems to be for you" and handed me a small package. this turned out to be the Armitage Shanks toilet that I had been waiting for. A quick check reveals that with a bit of trimming it should fit the powder room very nicely. I have now got the bulkheads for said powder room done, having just to decide on the décor for it. Lady Melchett, in a desperate attempt to insert some class into the furnishings has engaged the artistic talents of Lieutenant George to replicate some of the scenes from the Painted Hall at the former Royal Naval College at Greenwich. Further progress would have been made had the floor panel, containing the seat mounts and controls not gone AWOL and got trodden on. Quite a lot of time was used up in recovering from the damage. Thanks for looking. Martian 9 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 Odiham ASF in the late 70's we had a Boss, JENGO called Flt Lt Steve Armitage. Nice bloke and the troops all referred to him as Shanksy. Even in his earshot. He never cottoned on 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
general melchett Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 (edited) Quote If we can talk about toilets for a moment please? It has occurred to me that those toilets have close coupled cisterns and therefore might be not of the right vintage* Thank the styrene gods that someone has the common sense to mention this. It had occurred to me also while studying the potted history of the common-or-garden Thunderbox that a separate high level gravity flow cistern would have been more appropriate for the time. (Baldrick misheard me and though I wanted to put a dunny in the Sistine Chapel, Gawd love him). However, according to the Thomas Crapper Memorial site this is not necessarily so...' Originally, tanks were placed high above the bowl to get water moving forcefully enough to clear the weir, but by 1915, narrower, smoother porcelain passageways allowed quieter, 5- to 7-gallon tanks to be mounted on the backs of bowls'. So there you have it, from old Crapper himself, a choice can be made. And with that in mind I've backdated one of the Armitages accordingly..... I actually had a few hours free today while the Mem visited Lady M minor for a natter and good moan about everything possible so I was able to get a few bits painted and tarted up. The old Joanna has now been given a splattering of 'old folks home brown' complete with indelible stains and washed/worn using various Abteilung oils and Enamel Matt Effect Thinners. It now resembles the one we had at school that suffered dreadfully at the hands of us Upper Sixth yobs who often used it for target practice as well as the odd rendition of our version of 'chopsticks' using lump hammers. It was peppered with woodworm (the .22 and .177 variety) and ended its days on the school bonfire during the summer break of 1975. Went out like a Viking. The nerve centre as designed by Baldrick and Darling, both having downed a few buckets of Shredded Sporran first. The result was surprisingly restrained... The La Rhone 9J finished using a combination of AK Xtreme Metals, MRP Bronze and Abteilung Burnt Umber, Starship Filth and Neutral Grey. Some MIG and AK pastels were also bunged on top. I wasn't at all happy with Avis's seating arrangement, clumsy and uninteresting, much like Baldrick, so after consulting Darling and using his not inconsiderable chair-stacking and table-arranging skills, decided to rearrange things as we saw fit. Besides that they didn't really fit in with the delicate wicker seats I'd printed so a new floor was re-laid to cover the previous seat support holes and replcement supports will be scratched to fit. The seats will now be fitted in a more suitable configuration befitting a befuddled old walrus/senior officer of the High Command plus, of course, we need to consider the placement of pot plants, a heavily framed painting, flags, candelabras, rugs, curtains and a piano stool. A suitable exhaust system for the on-board latrine will also have to be added of course. I thought a period steering wheel would be more in keeping so printed one off and added it to the existing stick along with some push/pull cables. I thought a bull-horn might also add a touch of class. A few of the pieces of essential travel equipment temporarily put in place. It's looking more like a travellers caravan every day. Next up will be a bog roll holder, towel and 'King & Country' magazine rack. Cheers all..hope all this doesn't effect your sleep patterns too much... Edited January 22 by general melchett 8 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RichieW Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 Oh how very splendidly appointed! A Liberace style candelabra atop the upright could just add enough elegance to entice that delightful little chipmunk aboard. Surely worth the fire risk! Richie 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 A high level cistern? There goes the C of G again! Aside from that it looks very inviting and ready for a good knees up. (Ooer) 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAF4EVER Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 There's no ballroom. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
general melchett Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 Quote There's no ballroom. Knew there was something else ......oh well...I have an idea. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Learstang Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 4 hours ago, Pete in Lincs said: It's odd how there's a stairway to Heaven, yet there's a ROAD to Hell. I rather suspect it has something to do with the volume of traffic to both places. Best Regards, Jason P.S. How did I miss this inspired bit of lunacy?! The Martian and the General, together again, and with an aeronautical curiosity which makes the Blackburn Blackburn look like a Hawker Hunter! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LorenSharp Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 There is always this... 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAF4EVER Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 15 minutes ago, LorenSharp said: There is always this... Where's the pilot?,lots of cabin crew,no flight crew. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
europapete Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 He's busy........errr....in the back. Sorry, I'll get my coat. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billn53 Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 "we need to consider the placement of pot plants" Don't you mean "potted plants"? . . . . Or maybe you actually do mean "pot", as in: 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
general melchett Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 (edited) I reckon you could get five to a wing so that’s twenty Tillers all crossing and uncrossing their legs at the same time…hopefully if they can flap fast enough they’ll be capable of producing the lift and energy required to heave the thing into the air. This just in, we have some good news and some bad news…good news is, following Loren’s post we now have our first paying customer, bad news…it’s Lord Flasheart….oh well, it seemed like a good idea at the time… Quote "we need to consider the placement of pot plants" Don't you mean "potted plants"? . . . . Or maybe you actually do mean "pot" (as in Cheech & Chong) Ah, well spotted…..that’ll be a Yes Quote P.S. How did I miss this inspired bit of lunacy?! The Martian and the General, together again, and with an aeronautical curiosity which makes the Blackburn Blackburn look like a Hawker Hunter! Welcome my good Marshall, I see you found your way here….even if it is by page seven but we’ll forgive you. Now that we have more of the familiar faces from the psych wing present we can continue the lunacy at a less controlled pace. Martian, I think we’re going to need a bigger blurglecrucheon….. Edited January 21 by general melchett 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LorenSharp Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 51 minutes ago, billn53 said: "we need to consider the placement of pot plants" Don't you mean "potted plants"? . . . . Or maybe you actually do mean "pot", as in: General Melchett and Baldrick on Maneuvers me thinks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LorenSharp Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 55 minutes ago, billn53 said: "we need to consider the placement of pot plants" Don't you mean "potted plants"? . . . . Or maybe you actually do mean "pot", as in: General Melchett and Baldrick on Maneuvers me thinks 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LorenSharp Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 Nothing like a double post to make my evening. Sheeesh. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
europapete Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 Twice the laughter! 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian Posted January 22 Author Share Posted January 22 12 hours ago, general melchett said: Next up will be a bog roll holder, towel and 'King & Country' magazine rack. I thought "King and Country" was the bog roll? 10 hours ago, Learstang said: P.S. How did I miss this inspired bit of lunacy?! The Martian and the General, together again, and with an aeronautical curiosity which makes the Blackburn Blackburn look like a Hawker Hunter! This is what happens when you don't pay attention. Take minus ten wibble points for being late! 10 hours ago, LorenSharp said: There is always this... With the four wings we should be able to get all of the dancing girls from the Moulin Rouge on bord. On second thoughts that might be too expensive. Perhaps we should settle for the General's Old Harrovian Can Can dance formation. 9 hours ago, LorenSharp said: General Melchett and Baldrick on Maneuvers me thinks I think that the General's" manoeuvres are taking place in the powder room. Martian 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corsaircorp Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 20 hours ago, LorenSharp said: Or the finest of half price French Bordellos' Oh Lord.... Are we going to talk about Madame Robert ??? And rashes, and Cauliflowers ?? Afraid CC 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corsaircorp Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 17 hours ago, general melchett said: I wasn't at all happy with Avis's seating arrangement, clumsy and uninteresting, much like Baldrick, so after consulting Darling and using his not inconsiderable chair-stacking and table-arranging skills, decided to rearrange things as we saw fit. Besides that they didn't really fit in with the delicate wicker seats I'd printed so a new floor was re-laid to cover the previous seat support holes and replcement supports will be scratched to fit. The seats will now be fitted in a more suitable configuration befitting a befuddled old walrus/senior officer of the High Command plus, of course, we need to consider the placement of pot plants, a heavily framed painting, flags, candelabras, rugs, curtains and a piano stool. A suitable exhaust system for the on-board latrine will also have to be added of course. I thought a period steering wheel would be more in keeping so printed one off and added it to the existing stick along with some push/pull cables. I thought a bull-horn might also add a touch of class. A few of the pieces of essential travel equipment temporarily put in place. It's looking more like a travellers caravan every day. Next up will be a bog roll holder, towel and 'King & Country' magazine rack. Cheers all..hope all this doesn't effect your sleep patterns too much... Well done General, But still, a spitoon is missing... Just beside the piano, a good old copper made spitoon..... And then, You have the choice to add Madame Robert, or Molly blackbottom, it's up to you.... French Cancan dancers will be too much, you'd better ask @LorenSharp about that.... Just saying.... Helping CC 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corsaircorp Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 12 hours ago, Learstang said: I rather suspect it has something to do with the volume of traffic to both places. Best Regards, Jason P.S. How did I miss this inspired bit of lunacy?! The Martian and the General, together again, and with an aeronautical curiosity which makes the Blackburn Blackburn look like a Hawker Hunter! What ?? The Blackburn Blackburn look better than the Hawker Hunter..... Tssssss..... CC 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 He must have meant from a distance. Possibly over the horizon. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
general melchett Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 Quote But a still, a spitoon is missing... No problem CC, virtually nothing is impossible with 3D printing....I'll rephrase that, before you get any ideas that'll land you in the Naughty Corner again..... virtually nothing. Quote You have the choice to add Madame Robert, or Molly blackbottom Old Molly Blackbottom, now that takes me back, she and Baldrick made a handsome if somewhat dishevelled couple. They were made for each other but I won't go into that right now, it's way too early on a Sunday morning for that level of depravity. Anyway, in an attempt at clearing that horrifying image from my fevered mind, Martian reminded me that to retain a modicum of decorum and keep out the worst of the reverberations of Baldrick's attempt at in-flight cuisine, a partition wall with door should be added...thusly. 8 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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