Pete in Lincs Posted November 18, 2023 Share Posted November 18, 2023 Yes. But is it art? 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevehnz Posted November 18, 2023 Share Posted November 18, 2023 1 hour ago, Pete in Lincs said: Yes. But is it art? Nah, pick up stix. Steve. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Puff Posted November 19, 2023 Share Posted November 19, 2023 If it had been the black thing on the right, it would have been poetic justice! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigsty Posted November 21, 2023 Share Posted November 21, 2023 "Mr Jenkins, before I prescribe Viagra for you, I want you to be absolutely sure you want it." "Oh, I am, doctor. I've been thinking long and hard for days." 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAF4EVER Posted November 21, 2023 Share Posted November 21, 2023 59 minutes ago, pigsty said: "Mr Jenkins, before I prescribe Viagra for you, I want you to be absolutely sure you want it." "Oh, I am, doctor. I've been thinking long and hard for days." 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted November 21, 2023 Author Share Posted November 21, 2023 The self-deprecation society is taking applications for new members. I've already put myself down. Simon. 1 13 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted November 21, 2023 Author Share Posted November 21, 2023 Simon. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Gordon Posted November 21, 2023 Share Posted November 21, 2023 What word begins with the letter N,ends with the letter N,has the middle letter N and is the expression of constipation? NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted November 22, 2023 Author Share Posted November 22, 2023 This will be our first Christmas dinner without Grandad, but we know he'll be up there looking down on us as we tuck in. It's his own fault for breaking the stairlift… Simon. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psdavidson Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 I wanted to spend a week on vacation where no one would find me. So I decided to spend the week in Congito. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Swindell Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 1 hour ago, psdavidson said: I wanted to spend a week on vacation where no one would find me. So I decided to spend the week in Congito. Didn't stay there, but did stay up the road; nice little quiet place, called Communicado 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted November 22, 2023 Author Share Posted November 22, 2023 Simon. 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bertie McBoatface Posted November 22, 2023 Share Posted November 22, 2023 The God of War rode out one day Upon his mighty filly. "I'm Thor!" he cried. His horse replied, "You forgot your thaddle, thilly." 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullbasket Posted November 23, 2023 Share Posted November 23, 2023 A man walks into a bar and sees a pianist, who is only one foot tall, playing the piano. He talks to the bartender and says, "That's amazing! Where did you find a 12 inch pianist?" The bartender replies, "Oh, I have a genie in the back room who grants wishes. Give it a try if you want." The man goes to the genie and says, "Oh genie, I wish I had a 100 million bucks." The genie nods his head and a few seconds later there's a puff of smoke and 100 million ducks fly over the man's head. The man goes back to the bartender and complains, "I wished for 100 million bucks, not 100 million ducks!" And the bartender says, "Do you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?" 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted November 23, 2023 Author Share Posted November 23, 2023 Simon. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vince1159 Posted November 24, 2023 Share Posted November 24, 2023 On 11/18/2023 at 7:22 PM, Pete in Lincs said: Yes. But is it art? Local dart team's practice session... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted November 24, 2023 Author Share Posted November 24, 2023 Simon. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted November 25, 2023 Author Share Posted November 25, 2023 Mary and Jane are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time; Mary is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore. "As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me!" Mary cries. "I'm so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day." replies Jane. "Yes, but your husband's an antique dealer!" Simon. 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted November 25, 2023 Author Share Posted November 25, 2023 MOD have banned brussel sprouts on submarines due to a very dangerous situation that occurred when a deep dive experiment on an undeclared submarine had to be aborted due to flatulent gas overcoming the crew who just managed to resurface and open the hatch for fresh air to circulate, apparently the scrubbers were ashore at a party. Simon. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigsty Posted November 25, 2023 Share Posted November 25, 2023 My mate told me he's getting me a radio for Christmas, but he won't be giving me any batteries. I reckon it's a wind-up. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bertie McBoatface Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 Bertie's Loony Lexicon Part 2 Aldershot - A tree killed in action Sediment - What he announced he had in mind Furlong - The coat of a Persian cat Urchin - The lower part of a lady's face Statue - Enquiry as to whether it is yourself 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bertie McBoatface Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 On 22/11/2023 at 12:50, psdavidson said: I wanted to spend a week on vacation where no one would find me. So I decided to spend the week in Congito. I couldn't afford a grand holiday this year so I spent a few days in Monjardin, it's a little place close to Mamaison. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bertie McBoatface Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 Daffy definitions are popular eh? Bertie's Loony Lexicon Part 4 Aaron - what a wig has Caerphilly - how to cross the road in Wales Rampage - a male sheep's attendant servant Shamble - imitation male cow Diploma - the man who comes to mend the burst pipe 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bertie McBoatface Posted November 30, 2023 Share Posted November 30, 2023 Bertie's Loony Lexicon Part B Expunge - a cake made with eggs Enchant - the song of the female chicken Quota - report what the lady said Capsize - how large a hat you wear Velocity - we lost the hot drinks 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bertie McBoatface Posted November 30, 2023 Share Posted November 30, 2023 Bertie's Loony Lexicon Chapter Six Whose - a Scottish residence Twain - what you twavel in on the wailway Sonata - not long afterwards Jargon - the vase is no longer there Knapsack - a sleeping bag 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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