Pete in Lincs Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 I thought Ariana Grande was a font 1 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psdavidson Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 4 hours ago, Pete in Lincs said: I thought Ariana Grande was a font It's not a new Starbucks drink then? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 I was drinking a beer and the bartender yelled 'Anyone know CPR?' I said, 'I know the whole Alphabet!' And everyone laughed and laughed. Well, except for this one guy.... 1 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattheCat Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 An American couple is driving through Canada and stops at a gas station to fuel up. As the man goes into the station to pay, his wife calls out to him, “ask them where we are!” So the husband walks in, pays, and asks, “by the way, where are we?” To which the attendant answers, “Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.” The man goes back to his car and the wife asks, “where are we?” “He doesn't speak English" replies the husband. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2996 Victor Posted April 30, 2023 Share Posted April 30, 2023 3 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattheCat Posted May 1, 2023 Share Posted May 1, 2023 Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "Sure, buddy." Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now, let's try it again!" Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "No, SIR!" 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigsty Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 On 4/30/2023 at 11:13 AM, psdavidson said: On 4/30/2023 at 6:50 AM, Pete in Lincs said: I thought Ariana Grande was a font It's not a new Starbucks drink then? It's not just her. What about Demi Lovato, Dua Lipa and Ava Max? Alright, you can't buy a Rita Ora, but for the kids there's always her sister Kia. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 I'm told that Kia Ora is actually a greeting in New Zealand. But you're right. Where are all these weird names coming from? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farmer matt Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 When I first met Mrs F, she was surprisingly relaxed about me making scale models. Then she discovered my 1:12 Sam Fox. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattheCat Posted May 3, 2023 Share Posted May 3, 2023 Anyone remembering Cock Robin? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Gordon Posted May 3, 2023 Share Posted May 3, 2023 7 hours ago, PattheCat said: Anyone remembering Cock Robin? Yes. She doesn't drink in my local these days... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnT Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 Great news. Eduard are doing a boxing of Malta Spitfires. That will sort out the colours on the paint schemes once and for all then OK I'll get me hat and before someone decides to put me right 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Rat Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 1 hour ago, JohnT said: Great news. Eduard are doing a boxing of Malta Spitfires. That will sort out the colours on the paint schemes once and for all then OK I'll get me hat and before someone decides to put me right Speaking of Eduard, after two and a half years of going through inventory after the fire, they're having a sale on old stock. I got a deal on this beauty, just need to source some decals... melted by Dave Bailey, on Flickr 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troy Smith Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 I have not idea if these have been on here before..... my favourite lightbulb jokes. Old ...but maybe new to some. Q -How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? A- One, but the lightbulb has to want to change. Q- How many surrealist does it take to change a lightbulb? A- Fish! And my one football joke. Q- How many Manchester United fans does it take to change a lightbulb? A- One, but his dad's got to drive him up from Surrey. Good to tell to non MU fans.... or MU fans you want to wind up 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Puff Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? 51 - one to remove the old bulb and insert the new; 50 to make the documentary. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vince1159 Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 How many board meetings does it take to get a lightbulb changed? This topic was resumed from last weeks discussion but is incomplete pending resolution of an action item not discussed and will contiue next week... 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Rat Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? 2; one to change it, and one to not change it. How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, dark becomes the new standard. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob G Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 On 5/3/2023 at 3:06 AM, Pete in Lincs said: I'm told that Kia Ora is actually a greeting in New Zealand. But you're right. Where are all these weird names coming from? For your delectation. https://youtube.com/shorts/9cFRp3be2go?feature=share3 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattheCat Posted May 8, 2023 Share Posted May 8, 2023 After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. "All right, ladies, think about this," bellowed the drill instructor. "If you could have ten minutes alone, right now, with anyone in the world, who would it be?" Amid much mumbling, one voice was heard from the back row. "My recruiter." 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psdavidson Posted May 12, 2023 Share Posted May 12, 2023 A millionaire informs his attorney, "I want a stipulation in my Will that my wife is to inherit everything, but only if she remarries within six months of my death." "Why such an odd stipulation?" asks the attorney. "Because," he says, "I want someone to be sorry I died." And "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullbasket Posted May 14, 2023 Share Posted May 14, 2023 A little girl is serving her father tea while her mother is out shopping. The mother comes home and the father says, "Watch this!" The little girl goes and serves the mother tea. The mother responds, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?" 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AV O Posted May 15, 2023 Share Posted May 15, 2023 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjsUQWB3kaE 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnT Posted May 15, 2023 Share Posted May 15, 2023 A selection of the late great Sir terry Wogan - On the Eurovision song contest On the UK’s 1995 effort: “It’ll either win by a mile or it’s the Diadora League next year.” Introducing the 2007 broadcast: “Who knows what hellish future lies ahead? Actually I do, I’ve seen the rehearsals.” “Spain is next, with a song called ‘Bloody Mary’. That reminds me, I haven’t touched a drop yet.” “It’s supposed to be bad. And the worse it is, the more fun it is.” “It’s been 29 years since the Netherlands won the Eurovision Song Contest. After this performance, make that 30.” On the interval performance in 2009: “I’ve seen this. This goes on for quite some time, so if you fancy making yourself a stiff drink, or putting the kettle on, or walking the dog, this is the time to do it.” “I don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s a major musical event. I love the Eurovision Song Contest and it will continue long after I’m gone. Just please don’t ask me to take it seriously.” On Iceland’s 1990 entry: “This has been typified as a Eurosong… they do a little walking and bounce about a bit.” With 24 out of 25 songs performed: “Hold on. Be strong. Just cling to the wreckage. It will be over soon.” On a backstage skit in 2007: “Is this supposed to be funny? No, of course not – it is the Eurovision Song Contest. What’s the matter with me? Can we please watch the commercials? 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullbasket Posted May 15, 2023 Share Posted May 15, 2023 1 hour ago, JohnT said: A selection of the late great Sir terry Wogan - He was the only reason that I used to watch Eurovision. John. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2996 Victor Posted May 16, 2023 Share Posted May 16, 2023 On 15/05/2023 at 15:51, Bullbasket said: He was the only reason that I used to watch Eurovision. John. Me, too! RIP, Sir Terry, you're sadly missed. Cheers, Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now