Jump to content

Short Clean Jokes V


Spookytooth

Recommended Posts

3 hours ago, Selwyn said:

Did you hear about the multi millionaire dyslexic sex maniac who was so disappointed when he found out he had bought a warehouse?

 

Selwyn

I was disappointed the first time I went to ScrewFix, I thought it was a dating agency.

  • Haha 6
  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mahatma Gandhi often walked barefoot which produced an impressive set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, making him rather frail and with his odd diet he often suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 13
Link to comment
Share on other sites

OK, if you want to play that game: What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One's a slime-sucking, mud-grovelling bottom dweller, the other's a fish.

 

 

Edit: For the record, I should note that I practiced as a solicitor for forty years before retiring and returning to the human race.

  • Haha 10
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A man was undergoing psychological tests and was given the following problem to solve:

 

You have been shipwrecked on a desert island with no power, food, or water. By your estimation you are at least 2000 miles from any human habitation. What three things would you choose to take with you as you abandon ship to ensure your survival and rescue?

 

The man thought for a moment.

"I wouldn't need three things, I would only require one item to ensure my survival. I would take a deck of cards."

 

Curious, the psychologist was eager to understand how just a deck  of cards would ensure survival and rescue.

 

The man explained. " I would find a quiet sheltered spot on the island, open the deck, shuffle and then start playing patience."

 

" And how would that save you?"

 

 Well I can guarantee that within five minutes some really annoying person  would turn up from somewhere, and be  looking over my shoulder saying, no! no! you want to put that card on that pile............."

 

Selwyn

 

  • Like 3
  • Haha 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, Pete in Lincs said:

The biggest lie I tell myself is...'I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it'

Problem is Pete, I DO write stuff down. Then I can't remember where I put the pieces of paper🥴

Regards

Pete

  • Like 4
  • Haha 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 1/5/2023 at 7:11 PM, Pete Robin said:

Problem is Pete, I DO write stuff down. Then I can't remember where I put the pieces of paper🥴

Regards

Pete

These days I forget what I'm writing down as I'm . . .

  • Haha 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...