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Short Clean Jokes V


Spookytooth

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I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.

The bull started to service the cows within two days, ALL my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!

I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him but they kind of taste like peppermint.

 

 

Simon.

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I'm part way through composing a Christmas joke. It's going to be a cracker!

                                             OR

Bloke at work had ten pints of yoghurt last night. He said he was Mullered.*

 

*For our overseas listeners, Muller is a brand of Yoghurt over here.

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My lawn mower has been kidnapped. They want £100 if I want to see it again.

 

I'm being held to Ransom.

 

Dick 

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A majestic Rolls-Royce was reversing into a parking space in London, when a grubby little Mini nipped into the space from behind.

The Mini's owner, a brash young man, got out and strolled past the Rolls-Royce saying, 'You have to be young and fast to do that.'

The enormous car's owner did not look at the young man; he just continued reversing and squashed the Mini into a tangled head against the curb.

Then he got out and handed the astonished young man a card with his insurance details, saying, 'You have to be old and rich to do that.'

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