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Snowpersons


bentwaters81tfw

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8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 - The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.

8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded

Moral:

There is no moral to this story. It's where we are

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1 hour ago, bentwaters81tfw said:

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbour complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 - The Muslim gent across the road demanded the snow woman wear a burqa.

8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for me to be beheaded

Moral:

There is no moral to this story. It's where we are

It is very much where we are sadly but where the hell will we all finish up.

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09.30 - the local food bank people came and took the carrot nose to put in food hamper, telling you not to waste food

09.31 - the local 'Help the Aged' people came and took away the coal 'buttons' to give to an OAP for their winter fire, telling you not to waste fuel

09.32 -  a representative from the local homeless shelter came and took away the scarves and hats to give to some homeless people, telling you not to waste useful clothing

09.33 - a representative of the local council arrived to see if you had acquired planning permission

09.34 - a representative from the forestry commission arrived to see if you had obtained permission to use the twiggy branches you used for the arms

09.35 - a representative from the local water authority arrived to find out what measures you had in place to drain off the water when the snow people melt

09.36 - a representative from the fire-fighting authority arrived to find out if you have flood preventative measures in place in case the snow people melted too quickly

09.37 - Police arrived again, to warn you that you and your snow people were a public nuisance due to the number of people visiting you about them

09.38 - traffic wardens arrive and ticket all the vehicles blocking the road outside your garden

09.39 - authority tow-truck arrives to tow away vehicles causing any obstruction

09.40 - all the vehicle owners start handing you their parking tickets for you to pay

09.41 - police anti-drugs unit arrives upon being informed that there was a large quantity of 'snow' at your place

09.42 - you board a Ryan Air flight to Belarus, or anywhere

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