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Zeppelin !


Martian

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17 minutes ago, Pete in Lincs said:

I have keys to all sorts of places in my job. You'd be surprised. I Still couldn't get into the safe at Melchett towers though. I wonder what he keeps in there....

 

I heard it was compromising pictures of Flossie the sheep that he has been hiding from Lady Melchett. Baa.

 

Martian 👽

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7 minutes ago, Pete in Lincs said:

Gasbag

 No wait, that's what they called the General.

You're confusing gasbag with wind bag.

 

Martian 👽

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 I Still couldn't get into the safe at Melchett towers though. I wonder what he keeps in there....

 

I'm amazed you even found the safe, Pete as it was buried in a deep pit containing the rotting carcass of a dead bison, under four tons of liquid manure at the bottom of the Victory Gardens.....how did you even get past Baldrick's mini Siegfried line, graviton minefield, cluster munitions and electrified barbwire fencing?

 

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An old unfinished copy of the London Times crossword puzzle dated from 1936

 

How in Jude's underpants could you possibly know that??

 

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6 letter word for Zeppelin

 

 

Hmmm...:hmmm:  

 

 

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1 hour ago, TheBaron said:

Breaking: 'Police called to incident at Melchett Towers'

giant-inflatable-octopus-tentacles-happy

https://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/giant-inflatable-octopus-tentacles/

 

 

 

Thanks your Baronesship, I have been extremely unwell over the past few days and that gave me and the Memsahib the first good laugh we have had.

 

Grateful of Mars 👽

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19 minutes ago, Martian said:

I heard it was compromising pictures of Flossie the sheep that he has been hiding from Lady Melchett. Baa.

 

Martian 👽

 I didn't want to mention those Martian, out of propriety. Nor the pair ladies knickers from that nice establishment near the front. You know, that place where the Ladies were very attentive.

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20 minutes ago, general melchett said:
21 minutes ago, general melchett said:

bottom of the Victory Gardens.....how did you even get past Baldrick's mini Siegfried line, graviton minefield, cluster munitions and electrified barbwire fencing

 

Bribery and corruption plus a bag of jelly babies

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15 minutes ago, Pete in Lincs said:

Bribery and corruption plus a bag of jelly babies

You found lady Melchett's weakness then.

 

Martian 👽

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Nor the pair ladies knickers from that nice establishment near the front. You know, that place where the Ladies were very attentive.

 

Is that where the 'big boys' hang out? legend has it that Darling's no stranger to the establishment....I'll ask Bob as he/she has a small holding nearby, apparently.

 

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Bribery and corruption plus a bag of jelly babies

 

It was probly the jelly babies that sealed the deal...she has a weakness for gummies (wooden dentures) especially Bubbles and Boofuls. She's anyone's after half a box of Basset's finest. 

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On 16/08/2023 at 12:59, Pete in Lincs said:

 

 

As promised my tame boffin has managed to un-photoshop one of the pictures posted by @general melchett and the full story of our visit to Melchett Towers can now be told. This is not for the faint of heart and carries a XXX rating.

 

We knew we were getting close to the Melchett residence (about fifteen miles away)when we were met with a very pungent "agricultural" smell. This turned out to be Baldrick hard baking cow pats, the reason for which became clearer during our stay. Upon arrival, we were greeted most cordially by the General and Memsahib and over dinner that evening we were invited to open the Much-Snivelling-in-the-Swamp summer fête and to present the prizes for the various competition classes. Competition for awards was particularly keen this year as Much-Snivelling's twin town from Bavaria, Much-Lederhosen-Slapping-in-the-Mire had sent over a very strong team. However the home side more than held their end up (fnar, fnar) with the General being crowned Bottom Burping Champion (freestyle) for the tenth year in succession. Following a stewards enquiry, Baldrick was disqualified from the dung hurling class for using artificially hardened dung. However, he recovered strongly from this disappointment by winning the all commers dung eating medley (Pig, duck and horse) Challenge Shield, an award that he has coveted for sometime now.

 

On the Friday of our stay @Pete in Lincs visited Melchett Towers and accidentally let slip his true identity as, shock horror! The Phantom Raspberry Blower of Old London Town! He tried to place the blame on the late Spike Milligan but the quality of the very real and alive raspberries he was blowing and now the real photograph, leaves no further room for unreasonable doubt. Inspector Corner of the Yard and his sidekick Sergeant Bowles have been send for. The "Disturbance at Melchett Towers" picture that @TheBaron posted was taken at the very instant Pete's true identity was revealed. Sadly the picture fails to show Lady Melchett, clad only in a bath towel and shower cap fleeing the building in a state of hysteria. Lady Melchett Junior's reaction cannot yet be gauged as she has yet to regain her power of speech following the incident.

 

Are you all ready for this? Well as ready as you will ever be?

 

Thanks for looking and Carrying on Screaming.

 

Martian (Do you mind if I smoke?) 👽

 

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26 minutes ago, Pete in Lincs said:

I would demonstrate, but I was laughing so much that I bit my tongue...

We take that as a confession! and no blurglecruncheon was harmed during its extraction.

 

Humane of Mars 👽

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If anyone insinuates that our fellow modelers are a bunch of loonies, I shall have to ask them to step outside......

 

The General has a proper licence for Baldrick too. It is NOT a dog licence with the word DOG crossed out and "Baldrick" written in in crayon....

 

Ian

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Following suitable ponderings, it has been decided that a new category of "Usual Suspect" needs to be created. This will be known as Professor of Silliness. The General is obviously a shoo in for the role as are CC and Pete-in-Lincs. The latest addition to the list, following the Melchett Towers photo, has to be @The Baron. Tony, our collective tickling sticks salute you!

 

Martian 👽

 

PS: @corsaircorp may well be in for promotion if the combined brains of Bletchley Park and GCHQ  can decipher enough of his posts. His almost permanent residency in the Naughty Corner will surely gain him extra points for bad behaviour.

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This will be known as Professor of Silliness. The General is obviously a shoo in for the role as are CC and Pete-in-Lincs. 

 

An honour indeed.....I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to my loyal subjects, any surviving family members and their pets, the local constabulary, especially the lads of SCO19 Specialist Firearms Command and the Serious Organised Crime Agency, the late Gag Halfront, my analyst, the Pope, King George V and Baldrick's favourite turnip, Alan for putting me forward as a nominee for this prestigious award bestowed by our favourite cult leader being, Martian of Wibble..... 

 

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 Sadly the picture fails to show Lady Melchett, clad only in a bath towel and shower cap fleeing the building in a state of hysteria. Lady Melchett Junior's reaction cannot yet be gauged as she has yet to regain her power of speech following the incident.

 

Both of them will need rehabilitation and many years of intense therapy are ahead of them in order to restore any semblance of "sanity." The Mem has taken the vow, and until I can prove that you've departed the planet, she refuses to leave her bunker. Lady M junior has also taken the pledge.

 

 

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16 hours ago, Martian said:

Following suitable ponderings, it has been decided that a new category of "Usual Suspect" needs to be created. This will be known as Professor of Silliness. The General is obviously a shoo in for the role

I would have made the General Professor Emeritus

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5 hours ago, general melchett said:

 The Mem has taken the vow, and until I can prove that you've departed the planet, she refuses to leave her bunker. Lady M junior has also taken the pledge

Why blame me? It was the shocking revelation about Pete-in-Lincs and the accompanying raspberries  that pushed the two ladies over the edge. I was as traumatised as anyone!  :frantic:After all who expects to find themselves sitting next to the Notorious and legendary Phantom Raspberry Blower of old London Town? My tentacles went completely rigid with terror, 😱 resulting in the Baron's unique photo opportunity.

 

I Didn't Do It Of Mars 👽

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2 hours ago, LorenSharp said:

I would have made the General Professor Emeritus

Well he certainly merits something, perhaps we should ask Lady M when she has sufficiently recovered as to just what he merits.

 

Thoughtful of Mars 👽

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8 minutes ago, LorenSharp said:

I dare say it wouldn't be printable on a family site such as this.

Well, neither is the Phantom Raspberry Blower but it is about time that the youth of the planet were introduced to some of the realities of life, unpleasant as some of them are,

 

Martian 👽

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3 hours ago, LorenSharp said:

I would have made the General Professor Emeritus

Is that similar to General Detritus?

 

2 minutes ago, Martian said:

youth of the planet were introduced to some of the realities of life, unpleasant as some of them are,

The youth, or the realities?

 

Ian

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16 hours ago, Brandy said:

The youth, or the realities?

 

Ian

In this day and age; both.

 

Martian 👽

 

PS: In more breaking news from the "Much-Snivelling-in-the Swamp Pig breeders and d

Dung Eaters' Gazette".

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWIrB6uSXiI

 

The brief appearance of a certain regimental crest is more than a little worrying!

 

 

Extremely Concerned of Mars 👽

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My tentacles went completely rigid with terror, 

 

Baldrick did wonder what that was...he thought you were just pleased to see him. 

 

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It was the shocking revelation about Pete-in-Lincs and the accompanying raspberries  that pushed the two ladies over the edge. I was as traumatised as anyone!  

 

And to think I thought that was you, after consuming a couple of quarts of our home brewed vino paraffino, 'Darling's Revenge, 1914' and the mem's Soy bean and Skunk Cabbage flan. Mind you I had my suspicions aroused when Pete disappeared following a knock on the door from the local plod.  Apparently the CBRN unit (Chemical, biological, radiological and nuclear) wanted a word with him....

 

 

 

 

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I Didn't Do It Of Mars 

 

The mantra of many a multi-tentacled being of Wibble, I'm sure....

 

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1 hour ago, Pete in Lincs said:

I didn't do it neither and you ain't seen me, Right? of Lincs

It was your evil twin from the alternate Universe. That's my statement ad I'm sticking to it. And dang proud of it. :clap:

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