Modelling ennui, obsession, depression... is it just me?

[TonyOD]

22 hours ago, Max Headroom said:

Fell walking will keep you in trim and it sounds that this is your favourite thing at the moment.

 

Like the modelling I've come back to it a bit later in life... I had a pretty adventurous youth but then came the "lost decades" given over to my career, plus of course having young kids was a commitment for a while. A few years ago I got involved in the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award at the school where I work and qualified as an instructor/assessor, and I’ve got back into the outdoor life in a big way, hiking, climbing, cycling, kayaking, wild camping, skiing… I’m not in bad nick for 52 but I’m very conscious of a ticking clock so get out and live large as much as I can (scale modelling was my saviour when I couldn’t get to the hills during lockdown!) I’ve just committed to doing the Mountain Leader qualification so that will keep me busy for a couple of years.

 

It’s interesting to read other people’s comments about mental health… I’ve lived with depression since I was a kid but it’s much better understood nowadays than it ever was back then. With these things I don’t think you’re ever quite “fixed” @Big Dave S, but with the right kind of treatment and self-care it can be managed. It’s great that places like this forum are populated by good people who look out for each other and are happy to lend a sympathetic ear. I worked for many years in the corporate world where poor mental health would just be seen as a sign of weakness. That became pretty tough after I somehow climbed the greasy pole to director level. The macho, rough and tumble world of sales is no place to be if it's taking antidepressants and sleeping pills to get you through the week. 

 

17 hours ago, tomprobert said:

There are so many fantastically talented modellers out there on the ‘net sharing their work, it’s easy to look at their builds and think that we’re not good enough.

 

I see what you're saying but that's not really the case with me... I mean, I realise that in any endeavour there are people out there who will be immeasurably better at it than I am, that's kind of the way of the world. I'm talking about builds where a better result is clearly within my capabilities if only I could be less clumsy, more organised or (especially) more patient! (PS - your Shack is something else!)

 

22 hours ago, Max Headroom said:

(that and writing a novel - work in progress!).

 

 

You too? I have two entire series of novels meticulously planned out with fully formed characters and detailed plot outlines. One of these days...

Edited June 30, 2021 by TonyOD

[Mick4350]

I've lived with major depression for decades and whilst my hobby is models, models and reference material and sometimes you have to step back from the obsessive hobby that sometimes rules your life. They say things get better with support from loved ones. But I live on my own and have to live with that fact of life and life goes on, sometimes grudgingly. 

 

F60.31

[TonyOD]

You probably already know it @Mick4350, but you’re among friends here.

[Paul J]

I'm in the same boat more or less. I am working on a GB subject and another for my self but do find it hard to really get in to the hobby right now. Been here several times before with bouts of being down and not having the will to make any more. I am currently in the throes of getting rid of a vast majority of my built and unbuilt kits because I just don't really want to keep them.  Maybe it will blow over  who knows.

[Big Dave S]

I totally understand your point about not ever quite getting fixed.

Every ten yrs or so I get counselling. It's great that such options are available. Perhaps most people would agree they need a bit of support at times, even if it they might not say it aloud.

Your approach - exercise and involvement in other projects and people - is great. It works for me too.

Hang in there and never give up.

DS (also 52!)

[TonyOD]

I think I might have discovered the key to happy modelling.

 

Forget the end result, for it is far, far in the future. Break the build down into parts, sub-assemblies or whatever, and go at the one after the other (not simultaneously), treating each one as a build in itself. Do the best possible job on each bit, then eventually throw it all together. Seems to be working for me, anyway, I am currently really enjoying building the cockpit of a B-26. Feeling much about things!

[TonyOD]

Well, that's that build finished. My next build will be either the landing gear or the bomb bay of a B-26.  😁

 

[Giorgio N]

Glad to see you got back to gluing and painting plastic bits !

As others have said, your "problem" is all too common among modellers, losing interest or finding difficult to fit the hobby with other interests are things that happen to many.

I can also understand your feeling regarding the quality of the completed builds, so many times I've wondered why my latest model was riddled by problems and errors and why I ended with something way below my skills,,, more so as the previous model came out of totally different quality. I guess that in the end we are like musicians, they may issue a great album, then average stuff at best for years and when nobody expects it another great one years later. Maybe in our hobby it's all a matter of having the right kit, the right mindset and the right tools at the right time. When even just one thing is not right, we end with models that don't satisfy us for some reason. Over the years I've learnt to accept this. If I'm building a subject that I'm really interested in then I change plans when I see things are not going well and finish the model in different markings, with the idea of giving a second try to that particular subject. If it's a model of something I like but I'm not crazy about, I just finish it as it is, the next model will hopefully be better. Or I may abondon it,, in the end this is also a valid choice.

What matters in the end is that the hobby should help us feel better, be it by giving some relaxing time or by taking thoughts off or whatever. If the hobby starts adding problems, better stop for a while and get back later.

[TonyOD]

6 hours ago, Giorgio N said:

in the end we are like musicians, they may issue a great album, then average stuff at best for years and when nobody expects it another great one years later.

 

Great analogy, that.

 

I'm becoming more comfortable with the idea of "it wasn't meant to be" builds falling by the wayside, instead of doggedly continuing even if I know I'm not going to be happy with the result.

[AdrianMF]

Glad to see you are building again Tony!

 

A hobby should be exactly something you do for yourself. If you enjoy your time at the bench, then you’re doing it right - that’s the only criterion.

 

Regards,

Adrian

[Duncan B]

On 7/4/2021 at 8:43 AM, TonyOD said:

I think I might have discovered the key to happy modelling.

 

Forget the end result, for it is far, far in the future. Break the build down into parts, sub-assemblies or whatever, and go at the one after the other (not simultaneously), treating each one as a build in itself. Do the best possible job on each bit, then eventually throw it all together. Seems to be working for me, anyway, I am currently really enjoying building the cockpit of a B-26. Feeling much about things!

That's the way I deal with my builds now. I don't think about the end result until I get there. I break things down into manageable (physically and mentally) chunks and work through them. Sometimes I might only do one small piece in a day but I still feel I've achieved something positive. Some days I might not manage anything at all but I don't stress about it the way I used to.

I do find that I will put things off if I come to a stage that I am concerned I might not be able to do well enough and when that happens I have to remind myself I am only building to please me. That's usually enough to get me going again (and more often than not it usually works out fine anyway).

 

Duncan B

[IanC]

In between 'big builds' I like to make something simple from my childhood. Lately I've been doing some Airfix 1/76 vintage classics and Matchbox AFVs. Very enjoyable, and I have to say therapeutic. I don't worry about the details or changing anything, but instead try and build and paint and weather them as best I can.

 

Anything that doesn't pass muster can be lobbed in the bin and regarded as an inexpensive bit of experience, but so far that's not happened. Came close on a few occasions, though. 😁

[ColonelKrypton]

On 7/4/2021 at 7:43 AM, TonyOD said:

I think I might have discovered the key to happy modelling.

 

Forget the end result, for it is far, far in the future. Break the build down into parts, sub-assemblies or whatever, and go at the one after the other (not simultaneously), treating each one as a build in itself. Do the best possible job on each bit, then eventually throw it all together. Seems to be working for me, anyway, I am currently really enjoying building the cockpit of a B-26. Feeling much about things!

 

Bang on.

 

Savior the journey whenever and wherever the twists and turns and forks in the road may lead. And if your journey should eventually lead to where you had intended so much the better but if not then enjoy that instead.

 

I too suffered in the past.  It took a long time for me to find the path but I am now better off for having made and continuing with the journey.

 

cheers, Graham

 

 

 

[2996 Victor]

On 16/07/2021 at 16:10, IanC said:

In between 'big builds I like to make something simple from my childhood. Lately I've been doing some Airfix 1/76 vintage classics and Matchbox AFVs. Very enjoyable, and I have to say therapeutic. I don't worry about the details or changing anything, but instead try and build and paint and weather them as best I can.

 

Anything that doesn't pass muster can be lobbed in the bin and regarded as an inexpensive bit of experience, but so far that's not happened. Came close on a few occasions, though. 😁

Brilliant idea, Ian! I love the idea of nostalgia builds like this. The trick must be to not give in to the temptation to add details like PE, but, as you say,to build straight from the box but to your best possible standard. I think I might give it a go  

 

Cheers,

Mark

[Ray_W]

On 7/4/2021 at 5:43 PM, TonyOD said:

Forget the end result, for it is far, far in the future. Break the build down into parts, sub-assemblies or whatever, and go at the one after the other (not simultaneously), treating each one as a build in itself. Do the best possible job on each bit, then eventually throw it all together. Seems to be working for me, anyway, I am currently really enjoying building the cockpit of a B-26. Feeling much about things!

 

I just read through the whole thread and was about to write some comments and then saw your last comment and it  is one of the things that has made this hobby so enjoyable for me - it is about the journey and not the destination. I have a busy life so need to break a build down so when I get some bench time I focus on a small part of the whole, it becomes a series of mini projects. I am still amazed how quickly they come together. 

 

A few other things that have improved my satisfaction in the hobby:

• I have no shelf of doom. It is now finish it or bin it. The fact is that I have binned nothing because my number one rule is:
• Only one build at a time. If I am unhappy with something I do the corrective work. Often it is a minor irritation. If I leave it for a night or when I am next at the bench and it is still an irritation I fix it. You learn great skills with corrective work. Don't divert to that next kit. All my focus is on the build at hand.
• I spend much more time on new build planning and seeing how things fit. Trying to anticipate problems before you're into a build. I like it when I was a kid just twist the parts of the sprue and start gluing. Reality is this would not please me now. I need to really check what is going on and this has now turned into a very pleasurable part of the build. For example, after doing all that great work on that B-26 cockpit I know it is going to go into those fuselage halves without issue.
• I avoid fillers like the plaque. It is my No.2 rule after "one kit at a time". This needs the planning. Am I going to shim, what do I need to alter, how's the geometry, no offending nub, flash or coat of paint? Try to avoid the mess later in the build. Eliminate surprises.
• I keep my bench space clean and well organised to also assist in picking up where I have left off.  That doesn't mean during a session things aren't everywhere. 
• Develop and take pleasure in your own style. We all have our own style. I am amazed how often you see a builder's signature in the way they work and the look of the finished kit. 

Sorry to go on a bit as I could write a lot because I have come from where the hobby was stressful and now it is a delight. 

 

Ray

[TonyOD]

Some good "coping strategies" there @Ray_W!

 

I'm still having a bit of a breather, today I mucked about with the Potez 540 that I selected for the French Fancy GB a little bit  but didn't find a lot of joy in it to be honest. I've been doing a fair bit of this stuff ⬇️ lately and it just puts me in a completely different headspace to where it needs to be for the kitbashing! I'll be back on it sooner or later,..

 

 

 

[3DStewart]

I've found that cutting out etched brass and resin has increased my satisfaction with the hobby.  I'm content now with a neatly constructed and painted out of the box job, with maybe just a decal swap or straight-forward conversion to add occasional interest.

 

I've also started not worrying about having five kits on the go at once.  I let each progress at its natural rate until I get bored or displeased and then move to another in the batch and pick that up. Eventually i return to the stalled ones, but by now I have a new idea on correcting the 'problem', or maybe just time to recharge the enthusiasm battery.

[2996 Victor]

9 hours ago, TonyOD said:

Some good "coping strategies" there @Ray_W!

 

I'm still having a bit of a breather, today I mucked about with the Potez 540 that I selected for the French Fancy GB a little bit  but didn't find a lot of joy in it to be honest. I've been doing a fair bit of this stuff ⬇️ lately and it just puts me in a completely different headspace to where it needs to be for the kitbashing! I'll be back on it sooner or later,..

 

 

 

Great pic, Tony! That's somewhere you'd never find me except in my worst nightmares  walking I enjoy, walking along rocky spines overlooking precipitous drops is ball-shrivelling  

 

Glad you're feeling more up-beat, mate, the plastic can wait  

 

Cheers,

Mark

[TonyOD]

On 7/30/2021 at 8:38 AM, 2996 Victor said:

That's somewhere you'd never find me except in my worst nightmares  walking I enjoy, walking along rocky spines overlooking precipitous drops is ball-shrivelling  

 

It's Striding Edge on Helvellyn in the Lakes, don't be fooled by the pic, it was absolutely teeming with people, some of whom really had no business being there. I'd just "assisted" a lady who had got herself stuck on a downclimb and was having a panic attack. Her husband wasn't being very helpful!

[2996 Victor]

1 hour ago, TonyOD said:

 

It's Striding Edge on Helvellyn in the Lakes, don't be fooled by the pic, it was absolutely teeming with people, some of whom really had no business being there. I'd just "assisted" a lady who had got herself stuck on a downclimb and was having a panic attack. Her husband wasn't being very helpful!

My better half, Jane, will have walked (i.e. been forced to walk) it as a child, probably several times, as her Dad was a keen walker - her family spent every weekend and every school holiday walking or touring!

 

Don't get me wrong: I love a walk in the countryside and a good view, but I'm really bad with heights and that looks like a nightmare. Not my cup of tea at all! 

 

Good for you, though, Tony, and brilliant work assisting that poor lady!

 

Cheers,

Mark

[Bullbasket]

I did a lot of my basic training in the Lake District. We used to have to run up Little Mell Fell every morning before breakfast (and it wasn't little!!). We crossed a lot of those craggy bits in our time there, but God knows that I couldn't do it today. Acrophobia and vertigo would take care of that today.

 

John.

[TonyOD]

I’m sort of back. Started tinkering with my Potez 540 for the FF2 GB.

 

I’ve drawn up some ground rules for myself:

- one kit and only one kit at a time.

- if I’m not enjoying a build, sack it and move on, irrespective of how much it might have cost or how much time I’ve put into it. 

 

I’m enjoying WW2 stuff in particular (hence the kit trades) and think this is the way forward for me! I’m trying (really trying very, very hard) not to buy any more kits but when you see an Airfix Beaufighter for 15 quid….