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I Have just read a post by a Forum member where he mentions that one of my comments in his WIP had upset him. He appears to have been so uncertain of my intentions that he polled his friends on FB to decide if what I said was offensive / insulting.

 

Regardless of the outcome of his poll, the fact that he did not feel comfortable enough to contact me on the subject indicated that what I posted was very out of place here.

 

For that reason I respectfully request that the Forum moderators delete my account here.

 

Gerry

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49 minutes ago, GerryW said:

For that reason I respectfully request that the Forum moderators delete my account here

I don't know what caused the original problem, so I don't know if it was what you said, or how you said it. I've noticed before that sometimes people who speak/write English as a second language can sometimes come over as a little abrupt/brusque, personally I make allowances as I'm aware that the subtleties of English are a real pig to master. As a native English speaker I've been known to say things that haven't gone down well, without intending to.

If the member who was offended can't accept that sometimes things are written that don't sound the same as they were intended, that says more about them than you. If they have a problem, they should have discussed with you directly.

 

If you enjoy being a member of this site, please don't let one individual put you off.

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Hi Gerry,

 

at the last count, I think we have somewhere around 20.000+ members worldwide and you should not worry about a single member's comments. 

Stay with us Gerry, enjoy the forum and keep producing WiP's. :thumbsup:

 

All the best,

 

Mike

Edited by bootneck
amended in light of other members suggestions.
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Hi Gerry.  I've no idea what this comment was, but some people are easily offended.  I do feel that his failure to contact you directly, and going behind your back, suggests he is possibly one of those.  However you do say he was actually asking for independent opinion rather than simply bad-mouthing you, so perhaps he should be given some leeway.  Perhaps now he will get in touch with you by PM, or if you are considering leaving the site, then perhaps you could try contacting him first?

 

That said, if your interest in the site is in passing comment on models of interest to you that are presented, and these models deserve other than glowing praise, then you will continue to upset people.   Personally I feel that if someone is prepared to place their work on public display than they should be prepared to receive all kinds of genuine response short of abuse.  This however is not the rules of this site.   Not everyone will be offended by fair comment, and perhaps complainers are people whose opinion is not worth being upset by, but it is advisable to phrase comments in as helpful a way as possible. 

 

 

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1 hour ago, GerryW said:

I Have just read a post by a Forum member where he mentions that one of my comments in his WIP had upset him. He appears to have been so uncertain of my intentions that he polled his friends on FB to decide if what I said was offensive / insulting.

I'd not worry about keyboard warriors on facebook. They are full of their own opinions

Did the moderators on here edit or delete your post? Only if they had does it matter, if the moderators did nothing to your posting then there is nowt wrong with it

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1 hour ago, GerryW said:

I Have just read a post by a Forum member where he mentions that one of my comments in his WIP had upset him. He appears to have been so uncertain of my intentions that he polled his friends on FB to decide if what I said was offensive / insulting.

 

Regardless of the outcome of his poll, the fact that he did not feel comfortable enough to contact me on the subject indicated that what I posted was very out of place here.

 

For that reason I respectfully request that the Forum moderators delete my account here.

 

Gerry

 

 

Having read the comments on the thread, I suspect Badder's comments are intended to be as humorous as yours were!

Edited by Dave Fleming
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32 minutes ago, Dave Fleming said:

Having read the comments on the thread, I suspect Badder's comments are intended to be as humorous as yours were!

I've also read the comments and I agree with Dave. And there is nothing about your use of the English language that could be at issue.

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2 hours ago, GerryW said:

I Have just read a post by a Forum member where he mentions that one of my comments in his WIP had upset him. He appears to have been so uncertain of my intentions that he polled his friends on FB to decide if what I said was offensive / insulting.

 

Regardless of the outcome of his poll, the fact that he did not feel comfortable enough to contact me on the subject indicated that what I posted was very out of place here.

 

For that reason I respectfully request that the Forum moderators delete my account here.

 

Gerry

I'd be interested to see those comments myself - I don't see why you should remove your account because you accidentally upset someone?  I think we need to look into this deeper personally :)

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4 minutes ago, Kushan_Farsight said:

could it be that they polled friends to see if what was said was meant as humorous or insulting,

I think the whole 'polled friends on FB' thing was intended as a joke and probably didn't really happen. Only use for comic effect.

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1 hour ago, Dave Fleming said:

 

 

Having read the comments on the thread, I suspect Badder's comments are intended to be as humorous as yours were!

Yes, in the context of the discussion that was taking place, they look that way to me, too. Particularly the Facebook friends poll.

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4 hours ago, GerryW said:

I Have just read a post by a Forum member where he mentions that one of my comments in his WIP had upset him. He appears to have been so uncertain of my intentions that he polled his friends on FB to decide if what I said was offensive / insulting.

I think that Badder posted this with his tongue well and truly in his cheek. Hence the smiley face after the post. The words storm and teacup spring to mind.

 

John.

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Hi Gerry

 

Please think once more about your decision, i made same experiences in german forums, i am really sure 90 percent of the members who saying bad words to you, they wouldnt do that if they stand in front of you, they hiding themself in internet but in reality they are very quite and small.

 

And by the way, if we germans talking english, we never can do it in same manner as a english man, its just not our mother language. So take it easy and stay here in this nice forum.

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Before people start bad mouthing the other person, try reading what was said. It was tongue in cheek. And just remember that Gerry is Irish, so his first language is English.

 

John.

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1 hour ago, Bullbasket said:

Before people start bad mouthing the other person, try reading what was said. It was tongue in cheek.

What John said.

 

Having read the exchange I've absolutely no doubt it's a misunderstanding. The poll of Facebook friends etc is very much tongue in cheek, being relatively familiar with the humour on this site there is clearly no malice intended. 

 

It does make me a little concerned as that could quite easily have been something any of us (self included) might have said as a bit of light hearted humour.

To be honest this site and the hobby would be an awful lot poorer without it...

 

Darryl

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GerryW, think about the number of people who've responded positively to your post. All of them encouraging you to stay, and many believing it was a misunderstanding. Your presence makes a difference or there wouldn't be any encouragement coming your way. Of the websites I've been engaged in, Britmodeler has to be among the friendliest there is. Good people, helpful suggestions, no reluctance to praise good work;  all combined with more humor than you're likely to find on any other plastic modeling website, or any other website, for that matter. When encouraging words outweigh those that discourage you, stay for the sake of those who value your presence. You can benefit remaining with us.

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Oh Dear,

 

Gerry,  you have my sincerest apologies. You've been a valued and entertaining contributor to my Pit Stop Diorama WIP and the last thing I'd ever do is go out of my way to upset you, or anyone else. What I said, was of course, a joke. I did try to make it very obviously a joke, but perhaps I wasn't 'silly' enough and some might take it seriously if they read it quickly. I did hope that by saying I'd been 'upset for a month' would be the first give-away as the bit of banter has only been going on for a week, if that. And who really would ask FB friends to vote on whether comments were jokes or not? I should have been far more OTT and this misunderstanding wouldn't have happened.

 

As you said yourself, 'Humour can be a Minefield that should be laid with great caution.'

You're not wrong there mate! 🤣 That's why emojis were invented!

 

I have messaged you privately by way of an explanation and moreover another apology, because I'd rather you see my apology ASAP, either here or there.

I'd hate to be responsible for you deleting your account.

 

Now, I'm going to worry! So come back and give us a man-hug?

 

Sincerely,

Badder

 

 

 

PS… UNLESS of course, this is all just a very clever ruse to get more people to look at my work? In which case, no apologies, just thanks! 🤣🤣 Look at the emojis people! Look at the emojis!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Badder
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8 hours ago, Bullbasket said:

Before people start bad mouthing the other person, try reading what was said. It was tongue in cheek. And just remember that Gerry is Irish, so his first language is English.

 

John.

Ohhhh im sorry for my comment. I was sure he is a german because his location is Frankfurt in Germany. Again sorry 

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4 hours ago, Harry Callahan said:

I was sure he is a german because his location is Frankfurt in Germany.

I assumed the same.... and that he's called Gerry....

 

damnit I said I wouldn't do that joke. :doh:

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I can empathise with both parties here. I know my wayward sense of humour has been the cause of some upset on here in the past and I now make a conscious effort to tone it down to avoid upsetting others. It means that not all my posts reflect my real personality but as others have said above the written word is the least effective at communicating the subtitles of the (horridly complicated) English language so is the worst medium to attempt humour with (hats off to comedy authors).

 

Duncan B (now I wanted to put a fake upset comment in here but found I couldn't go ahead with it. This is all down to the behaviour manipulation software on the Forum!)

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As English is not my first tongue and I surely can understand the misinterpretations ...but I also do learn a lot more about certain kinds of humour and their use in the English language....

So please don’t hold back, don’t go away but do ask for an explanation in a PM if have any doubts about some comments.

It can be difficult to read certain things in a certain way when you don’t see a face and indeed there are those smiley’s for...

Carry on and keep building .....albeit on your humor , relations , or even your Starfix models....

 

cheers, Jan

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4 hours ago, Duncan B said:

the written word is the least effective at communicating the subtitles of the (horridly complicated) English language so is the worst medium to attempt humour with (hats off to comedy authors).

Hi Duncan,
And of course, another thing that can cause unintentional confusion, and even offense (although not the latter in the quote above) is Auto-correct. 🤣 I mean, who amongst us hasn't texted a friend and asked them if the fancy a 'riot'?

 

Badder

Edited by Badder
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Seems like all this could have been sorted out with a PM, or even a message in-thread, that said, "Have I offended you? If so I'm sorry. Can you explain what I did wrong?"

I've initiated a few of these in my time, and been on the receiving end of several too. Most times, we were able to resolve a misunderstanding similar to the one here; most of the rest of the time we reached an amicable resolution with an exchange of apologies for carelessness or prickliness. Only once, IIRC, were irreconcilable differences identified.

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We're working in the background to try to get Gerry back in the fold, so if we can keep it to good wishes for now, that would be handy.  We don't like losing members when it can be avoided, and I'm sure a lot of you that have seen Gerry's content will agree he's a positive influence on the site :)

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