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Short CLEAN Jokes IV -Just when you thought it couldn't get any worser


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I keep eating paper fastenings................................. It's a staple diet. 

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On 9/23/2020 at 1:36 AM, Black Knight said:

On that. the famous music producer Phil Spector had a brother called Crispin

He worked at Walkers in quality control

 

I knew a guy who worked in quality control at the Mars factory.

 

He was on the M&M production line but got the sack for throwing away all the W's.

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About a week ago I brought home a gorgeous little German Shepherd puppy. Unfortunately it turns out that my wife is allergic to dogs, so I'm afraid I can't keep her. So she's free to a good home. Anyone who's interested, please PM me.

 

She has black hair and beautiful brown eyes and is very good with the kids. She's also a reasonably good cook but does tend to nag when I come home with new kits.

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3 hours ago, Truro Model Builder said:

If you've never tried blindfold archery you don't know what you're missing.

 

Saw this funny on July 16

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In order to stop panic-buying, supermarkets are imposing maximum purchase levels, as follows.

 

Asda: two hand sanitisers and a four-pack of toilet rolls.

 

Tesco: one hand sanitiser, 500g of rice and a four-pack of toilet rolls.

 

Waitrose: one lobster, six quails' eggs and 100g of foie gras.

 

Aldi: one welding kit, a pink sports bra, two trumpets and a wetsuit.

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“Hello,” she said softly. “Is there anyone there? Anyone..? Anyone at all? I hear distant voices... Hello, speak up... What news do you have from the other side?”

 

No, not a seance. Just another Zoom meeting.

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Two nuns were driving down a country road when they ran out of gas. They walked to a farmhouse and a farmer gave them some gasoline; but the only container he had was an old bedpan. The nuns were happy to take whatever they were offered and returned to their car. As they were pouring the gasoline from the bedpan into the tank of their car, a minister drove by. He stopped, rolled down his window and said, "Excuse me, sisters. I'm not of your religion, but I couldn't help admiring your faith....!"

 

Simon.

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There was a city in Russia that was named after the Beatles.

It was called Lennongrad.

 

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10 hours ago, TonyG said:

There was a city in Russia that was named after the Beatles.

https://9gag.com/gag/aDxWBL9

Who don't know Beatles on post-Soviet space!

10 hours ago, TonyG said:

It was called Lennongrad.

Yeah...it was:

http://img1.reactor.cc/pics/post/Ленин-леннон-коммунизм-Омск-832553.jpeg

 

B.R.

Serge

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  • Mike changed the title to Short CLEAN Jokes IV -Just when you thought it couldn't get any worser

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