jenko Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 I keep eating paper fastenings................................. It's a staple diet. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 Karl Marx had a daughter, Onya. Onya Marx invented the starting pistol. Simon. 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Knight Posted September 23, 2020 Share Posted September 23, 2020 On that. the famous music producer Phil Spector had a brother called Crispin He worked at Walkers in quality control 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aardvark Posted September 24, 2020 Share Posted September 24, 2020 Holy Elk! 😁😁 B.R. Serge 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 On 9/23/2020 at 1:36 AM, Black Knight said: On that. the famous music producer Phil Spector had a brother called Crispin He worked at Walkers in quality control I knew a guy who worked in quality control at the Mars factory. He was on the M&M production line but got the sack for throwing away all the W's. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truro Model Builder Posted September 27, 2020 Author Share Posted September 27, 2020 What do you get if you divide the circumference of an apple by its diameter? Apple pi. 1 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted September 28, 2020 Share Posted September 28, 2020 About a week ago I brought home a gorgeous little German Shepherd puppy. Unfortunately it turns out that my wife is allergic to dogs, so I'm afraid I can't keep her. So she's free to a good home. Anyone who's interested, please PM me. She has black hair and beautiful brown eyes and is very good with the kids. She's also a reasonably good cook but does tend to nag when I come home with new kits. 1 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truro Model Builder Posted September 28, 2020 Author Share Posted September 28, 2020 From the BBC Website: 'Lana Del Rey covers Ariana Grande in the Live Lounge' Funny how that on Radio 1 that holds no interest for me whatsoever, but if it was on PornHub... 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Ian- Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 I told my son yesterday 'Don't look at porn, it'll make you go blind'. He said, 'I'm over here Dad'. 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Ian- Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 I received a nice little compliment about my driving today. Some kind person had put a sticker on my windscreen saying 'parking fine'. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truro Model Builder Posted September 30, 2020 Author Share Posted September 30, 2020 Coronavirus: at last, something made in China that lasts longer than five minutes. 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truro Model Builder Posted September 30, 2020 Author Share Posted September 30, 2020 If you've never tried blindfold archery you don't know what you're missing. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aardvark Posted September 30, 2020 Share Posted September 30, 2020 Most best argument in politics TV show for the audience! 😁😁😁 The TV operator is burning! 😁😁 B.R Serge 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick4350 Posted September 30, 2020 Share Posted September 30, 2020 3 hours ago, Truro Model Builder said: If you've never tried blindfold archery you don't know what you're missing. Saw this funny on July 16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truro Model Builder Posted October 2, 2020 Author Share Posted October 2, 2020 My doctor told me the other day that he has diagnosed me with a very rare illness. "How rare?" I asked, quite worried. "I'll let you choose a name." 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whofan Posted October 2, 2020 Share Posted October 2, 2020 In order to stop panic-buying, supermarkets are imposing maximum purchase levels, as follows. Asda: two hand sanitisers and a four-pack of toilet rolls. Tesco: one hand sanitiser, 500g of rice and a four-pack of toilet rolls. Waitrose: one lobster, six quails' eggs and 100g of foie gras. Aldi: one welding kit, a pink sports bra, two trumpets and a wetsuit. 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aardvark Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 Special effect - Hollywood nervously smokes on the sidelines! 😁 Moral - don't believe everything you's see on the internet! B.R. Serge 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truro Model Builder Posted October 3, 2020 Author Share Posted October 3, 2020 Some guys on the other side of the road decided to throw cheese at me earlier. It wasn't very mature. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truro Model Builder Posted October 3, 2020 Author Share Posted October 3, 2020 “Hello,” she said softly. “Is there anyone there? Anyone..? Anyone at all? I hear distant voices... Hello, speak up... What news do you have from the other side?” No, not a seance. Just another Zoom meeting. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 Two nuns were driving down a country road when they ran out of gas. They walked to a farmhouse and a farmer gave them some gasoline; but the only container he had was an old bedpan. The nuns were happy to take whatever they were offered and returned to their car. As they were pouring the gasoline from the bedpan into the tank of their car, a minister drove by. He stopped, rolled down his window and said, "Excuse me, sisters. I'm not of your religion, but I couldn't help admiring your faith....!" Simon. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyG Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 There was a city in Russia that was named after the Beatles. It was called Lennongrad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aardvark Posted October 4, 2020 Share Posted October 4, 2020 10 hours ago, TonyG said: There was a city in Russia that was named after the Beatles. https://9gag.com/gag/aDxWBL9 Who don't know Beatles on post-Soviet space! 10 hours ago, TonyG said: It was called Lennongrad. Yeah...it was: http://img1.reactor.cc/pics/post/Ленин-леннон-коммунизм-Омск-832553.jpeg B.R. Serge 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 What do you call a nanny with breast implants? A faux pair. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick4350 Posted October 8, 2020 Share Posted October 8, 2020 How do you circumcise a whale ? Send down four skin-divers. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truro Model Builder Posted October 10, 2020 Author Share Posted October 10, 2020 I can't wait to see the new film Caravan Park. The trailers look amazing. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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