Bertie McBoatface Posted January 4, 2022 Posted January 4, 2022 Have you heard about that new dog breed, the albino Dalmatian? I spotted one last week. It was the least I could do. 6
Bertie McBoatface Posted January 4, 2022 Posted January 4, 2022 On 11/22/2021 at 7:18 PM, Bertie Psmith said: A bloke went to a barber's shop and asked for a David Beckham cut. Half an hour later his hair was a complete mess, all tufty and sticking out all over. "That's not how David Beckham has his hair cut!" he said. "It would be if he came here." said the barber A bloke went to a barber's shop and asked for a Tony Curtis cut. (It's an old joke.) He fell asleep and when he woke up he was completely bald. "That's not how Tony Curtis has his hair cut!" he said. "Yes it is," said the barber, "I've seen 'The King And I' fifteen times." 4
JohnT Posted January 8, 2022 Posted January 8, 2022 You know you are getting old when you and your wife are getting all excited at the prospects of her going for implants and you are discussing teeth 4
Pete in Lincs Posted January 8, 2022 Posted January 8, 2022 What do we learn from Cows, Buffalo and Elephants? It's impossible to reduce weight by eating grass, salads and walking. 7
Pete in Lincs Posted January 8, 2022 Posted January 8, 2022 A recent study has found that Women who carry a little too much weight, live longer than Men who mention it. 15
pigsty Posted January 8, 2022 Posted January 8, 2022 I'm going to start a business specialising in cleaning toothpaste specks off bathroom mirrors. It's a job I can see myself doing. 6
Pete in Lincs Posted January 9, 2022 Posted January 9, 2022 15 hours ago, pigsty said: It's a job I can see myself doing. Then again, on reflection.... 8
GordonD Posted January 10, 2022 Posted January 10, 2022 On 1/8/2022 at 6:18 PM, pigsty said: I'm going to start a business specialising in cleaning toothpaste specks off bathroom mirrors. It's a job I can see myself doing. But if you make a mess of it will you be able to look yourself in the face? 6
Kiwidave4 Posted January 11, 2022 Posted January 11, 2022 The umbrella was going to be called the brella. But then the inventor hesitated. 8
JohnT Posted January 13, 2022 Posted January 13, 2022 Not sure if this has been seen before but the young orangutan reaction to a magic trick is priceless. https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=orangutan+watching+a+ball+disappear&client=safari&channel=iphone_bm&source=hp&ei=VV7gYZehA9mW8gKu-YKADw&oq=orangutan+watching+a+ball+disappear&gs_lcp=ChFtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1ocBADMgUIIRCgAToOCAAQjwEQ6gIQjAMQ5QI6CAgAEIAEELEDOgsIABCABBCxAxCDAToFCAAQgAQ6DgguEIAEELEDEMcBENEDOgsILhCABBDHARCvAToOCC4QgAQQsQMQxwEQrwE6BQguEIAEOggILhCABBCxAzoOCC4QgAQQsQMQxwEQowI6DQguELEDELEDELEDEAo6CAgAELEDEIMBOgcIABCxAxAKOgoILhCxAxCDARAKOgQIABAKOgsILhCABBCxAxCDAToGCAAQFhAeOggIIRAWEB0QHjoHCCEQChCgAToECCEQFVC2DFik7AFg8fkBaANwAHgAgAH2AogB6CqSAQgxLjM3LjAuMZgBAKABAbABDw&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-hp#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:bc85ec27,vid:rNWPqfCJDnc,st:0 To think they are endangered too 2 2 3
Kiwidave4 Posted January 14, 2022 Posted January 14, 2022 My mate has started a business designing clothing for stilt walkers. Early days, but he says he's already making giant strides..... 5
593jones Posted January 15, 2022 Posted January 15, 2022 21 hours ago, Admiral Puff said: He looks competent alongside ours ... You have my deepest sympathy!
pigsty Posted January 15, 2022 Posted January 15, 2022 According to the news that chap who's just had a transplant from a pig isn't all that happy about it. He said "It's bacon, my heart." 3
jenko Posted January 15, 2022 Posted January 15, 2022 2 hours ago, pigsty said: According to the news that chap who's just had a transplant from a pig isn't all that happy about it. He said "It's bacon, my heart." I'm glad it went well and the surgeons didn't make a pigs ear of it. 2
Dave Swindell Posted January 16, 2022 Posted January 16, 2022 24 minutes ago, Pete in Lincs said: How do Dragons blow out candles? Bit like fighting fire with fire eh? 2
jenko Posted January 16, 2022 Posted January 16, 2022 (edited) 3 hours ago, Pete in Lincs said: How do Dragons blow out candles? 3 hours ago, Dave Swindell said: Bit like fighting fire with fire eh? I this what they call a flame out ??? Edited January 16, 2022 by jenko 2
Alex Gordon Posted January 17, 2022 Posted January 17, 2022 12 hours ago, Pete in Lincs said: How do Dragons blow out candles? My mother just used to scowl at them. 5
Admiral Puff Posted January 17, 2022 Posted January 17, 2022 14 hours ago, Alex Gordon said: My mother just used to scowl at them. My mother-in-law only had to glance ... 5
Kiwidave4 Posted January 19, 2022 Posted January 19, 2022 I asked a supermarket worker where I could find the tinned pears and she said, "I'll see.", and walked away. She did not re-appear so when I saw another staff member I asked him and he said, "I'll see.", and walked away. At that point I decided to just look for them myself. I eventually found them in Aisle C. 12
Recommended Posts