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Short CLEAN Jokes IV -Just when you thought it couldn't get any worser


Truro Model Builder

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Second favourite Andy Capp

 

Andy, leaning on the bar, somewhat the worse for drink 'Flo, nip round to Chalkies and ask if I can borrow his bike.

Flo 'His bike, what do you want his bike for?

Andy 'To get home on, stupid, I'm in no condition to walk!'

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Thanks to @Mike using a cheap printing company, this years Britmodeller Christmas Pantomime will have to feature a barbeque on the stage.

That is unless someone out there wants 5000 posters headed Beauty and the Baste

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Three engineers are talking about the human body and what kind of engineer God was. First one says: "He must have been a mechanical engineer. Look at all those joints". Second one says: "No he was an electrical engineer. Look at all those connections." Third one says: "You're both wrong. He was a civil engineer." They both turn around to him and ask: "What makes you say that?". He replies: "It's obvious. Who else would have thought about running a waste disposal pipe through a recreational area"

 

Nick

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Trouble for somebody in Saudi Arabia

 

Someone overheard a very angry sheik shouting

 

"No you fool I said I wanted a new castle"

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11 hours ago, pigsty said:

Faux-beer: an irrational fear of low-alcohol lager.

Oh how I miss the "Alternative meaning" thread.

 

John.

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1 hour ago, -Ian- said:

I liked that one too.

 

Any idea why it was closed?

Apparently someone said something that they shouldn't. I didn't get to read what it was as it was removed before I could see it. I just think that it's a shame that something that was trundling along quite nicely gets removed because of something some miscreant says.

 

John.

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I heard on the radio that there may soon be a shortage of vegetables.

I think it's ironic that they are blaming the shortage of baked beans on the gas crisis.

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An American tourist walks out of a Mexican train station when he notices he isn't wearing his watch. A Mexican man is resting under a sombrero under a nearby tree. The American approaches the Mexican and asks, "Excuse me, do you know what time is?" The Mexican looks at the donkey, grabs its balls, and replies, "4:30." The American asks, "That's amazing! How do you know that?" The Mexican replies, "Well you get a handful of the donkeys balls and lift them up so you can see that clock across the street."

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Doctor O’Dell

Fell down a well

And broke his collarbone 

 

Doctor O’Dell

Should heal the sick

And leave the well alone

 

by the late great Spike Milligan

 

Trevor Bloodnock

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The Wombles were planning a trip to the Olympic park in Stratford. 
"We can go on the District line or the Overground".  
"How much will the train cost".
"It won't cost anything".
"Underground, Overground Wombles are free". 

 

IanJ 

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3 hours ago, Bonhoff said:

The Wombles were planning a trip to the Olympic park in Stratford. 
"We can go on the District line or the Overground".  
"How much will the train cost".
"It won't cost anything".
"Underground, Overground Wombles are free". 

 

IanJ 

 

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6 hours ago, Bonhoff said:

The Wombles were planning a trip to the Olympic park in Stratford. 
"We can go on the District line or the Overground".  
"How much will the train cost".
"It won't cost anything".
"Underground, Overground Wombles are free". 

 

IanJ 

In the words of Barry Cryer “I don’t know where he gets them from,  it when I find out I’m going there and burning it down”

 

Trevor

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