Alex Gordon Posted October 8, 2021 Posted October 8, 2021 24 minutes ago, Circloy said: Could have been worse it could have been.. Puss in Boots Worse still Pus In Boots 1
Dave Swindell Posted October 9, 2021 Posted October 9, 2021 13 hours ago, Alex Gordon said: Worse still Pus In Boots Other chemists are available..... 2
Fnick Posted October 11, 2021 Posted October 11, 2021 Three engineers are talking about the human body and what kind of engineer God was. First one says: "He must have been a mechanical engineer. Look at all those joints". Second one says: "No he was an electrical engineer. Look at all those connections." Third one says: "You're both wrong. He was a civil engineer." They both turn around to him and ask: "What makes you say that?". He replies: "It's obvious. Who else would have thought about running a waste disposal pipe through a recreational area" Nick 5
cherry268 Posted October 11, 2021 Posted October 11, 2021 Trouble for somebody in Saudi Arabia Someone overheard a very angry sheik shouting "No you fool I said I wanted a new castle" 5
pigsty Posted October 12, 2021 Posted October 12, 2021 Faux-beer: an irrational fear of low-alcohol lager. 1 6
Kiwidave4 Posted October 12, 2021 Posted October 12, 2021 Is it coincidental that the word 'diarrhoea' looks like you have lost control of your vowels? 10
Bullbasket Posted October 13, 2021 Posted October 13, 2021 11 hours ago, pigsty said: Faux-beer: an irrational fear of low-alcohol lager. Oh how I miss the "Alternative meaning" thread. John. 2
-Ian- Posted October 13, 2021 Posted October 13, 2021 6 hours ago, Bullbasket said: Oh how I miss the "Alternative meaning" thread. John. I liked that one too. Any idea why it was closed? 1
Bullbasket Posted October 13, 2021 Posted October 13, 2021 1 hour ago, -Ian- said: I liked that one too. Any idea why it was closed? Apparently someone said something that they shouldn't. I didn't get to read what it was as it was removed before I could see it. I just think that it's a shame that something that was trundling along quite nicely gets removed because of something some miscreant says. John. 2
Kiwidave4 Posted October 14, 2021 Posted October 14, 2021 The highlight of my holiday was a trip to the zoo. Spent some time watching an antelope. - I'd never seen an insect get married before. 13
Pete in Lincs Posted October 14, 2021 Posted October 14, 2021 I heard on the radio that there may soon be a shortage of vegetables. I think it's ironic that they are blaming the shortage of baked beans on the gas crisis. 7
Bullbasket Posted October 19, 2021 Posted October 19, 2021 An American tourist walks out of a Mexican train station when he notices he isn't wearing his watch. A Mexican man is resting under a sombrero under a nearby tree. The American approaches the Mexican and asks, "Excuse me, do you know what time is?" The Mexican looks at the donkey, grabs its balls, and replies, "4:30." The American asks, "That's amazing! How do you know that?" The Mexican replies, "Well you get a handful of the donkeys balls and lift them up so you can see that clock across the street." 5
Pete in Lincs Posted October 19, 2021 Posted October 19, 2021 I'm teaming up with the bloke next door, we're going to grow and sell Marijuana. It'll be a joint venture... 7
Vince1159 Posted October 19, 2021 Posted October 19, 2021 Hope it goes well and doesn't just turn to pot mate... 4
pigsty Posted October 19, 2021 Posted October 19, 2021 "Twenty quid for a go on yer bouncy castle! What's that all about, then?" "Inflation." 5
Pete in Lincs Posted October 19, 2021 Posted October 19, 2021 But the business is coming along in leaps and bounds! 3
Max Headroom Posted October 19, 2021 Posted October 19, 2021 Doctor O’Dell Fell down a well And broke his collarbone Doctor O’Dell Should heal the sick And leave the well alone by the late great Spike Milligan Trevor Bloodnock 5
Bonhoff Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 The Wombles were planning a trip to the Olympic park in Stratford. "We can go on the District line or the Overground". "How much will the train cost". "It won't cost anything". "Underground, Overground Wombles are free". IanJ 8
RAF4EVER Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 3 hours ago, Bonhoff said: The Wombles were planning a trip to the Olympic park in Stratford. "We can go on the District line or the Overground". "How much will the train cost". "It won't cost anything". "Underground, Overground Wombles are free". IanJ 4
Max Headroom Posted October 20, 2021 Posted October 20, 2021 6 hours ago, Bonhoff said: The Wombles were planning a trip to the Olympic park in Stratford. "We can go on the District line or the Overground". "How much will the train cost". "It won't cost anything". "Underground, Overground Wombles are free". IanJ In the words of Barry Cryer “I don’t know where he gets them from, it when I find out I’m going there and burning it down” Trevor 9
Circloy Posted October 21, 2021 Posted October 21, 2021 My employers have just suggested I change my career path, apparently they are shocked at how bad an electrician I've turned out to be. 4
Kiwidave4 Posted October 22, 2021 Posted October 22, 2021 Another wooden ball! I do wish the makers of avocados would include a different toy. 2 15
Bullbasket Posted October 24, 2021 Posted October 24, 2021 A panda walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for the food!" The panda yells back, "Hey man, I'm a panda. Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary to panda, "A tree climbing mammal of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white colouring. Eats, shoots, and leaves." Oh, the joy of the apostrophe!! 10
Spookytooth Posted October 24, 2021 Posted October 24, 2021 My mate Paul went into a butchers in East London and overheard some guy ask for "Panda Sausages". Don't you think these majestic creatures have suffered enough? Simon. 9
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