Jump to content

Short CLEAN Jokes IV -Just when you thought it couldn't get any worser


Truro Model Builder

Recommended Posts

A gynecologist notices that a new patient is nervous. While putting on the latex gloves, he asks her if she knows how they make latex gloves. The patient says no. The doctor says, "There is a plant in Mexico full of latex that people of various hand sizes dip their hands into and let them dry. She does not crack a smile, but later she laughs. The doctor says, "What's so funny?" She says, "I'm imagining how they make condoms."

  • Haha 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A funny and sad true story.

 

When my son was a baby he had a serious accident and was in Alder hey childrens hospital.

At the time a documentary was being filmed.

I talked to some of the young ones and there was a lad of about 14 who told me that he was messing with fireworks and seriously damaged his thumb which was obviously bandaged.

One day he was being interviewed for the documentary and as he was being asked questions the interviewer asked him "how are you getting to grips with the situation", I suddenly burst into loud and uncontollable laughter.

The interviewer looked at me and said "thanks for that" in a sarcastic tone,the soundman then said to him "you do realise what you just said to him". and they both started laughing.

Completely true story.

 

  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Can't remember if I've posted this one before, but if I have, apologies.

 

Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, "Jesús is watching you." He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, "Jesús is watching you." In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, "Was it you who said Jesús is watching me" The parrot replied, "Yes." Relieved, the burglar asked, "What is your name?" The parrot said, "Clarence." The burglar said, "That's a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot answered, "The same idiot that named the Rottweiler Jesús."

  • Haha 11
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I saw Sinead O'Connor birdwatching today.

I said "How are you getting on, Sinead?"

She looked sadly at me and said...

"It's been seven owls and sixteen jays since you took your dove away..."

So I said "Well, what about the sheep you exchanged for it?"

She replied..."Nothing compares to ewes."

 

Simon.

  • Haha 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Interesting headline on MSN - 'Five police officers injured and 29 arrested at anti-lockdown protest'.  I didn't read the story, so I don't know why the 29 police officers were arrested.  Must have been for something serious!

  • Like 1
  • Haha 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...