GordonD Posted January 4, 2022 Share Posted January 4, 2022 17 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bertie McBoatface Posted January 4, 2022 Share Posted January 4, 2022 Have you heard about that new dog breed, the albino Dalmatian? I spotted one last week. It was the least I could do. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bertie McBoatface Posted January 4, 2022 Share Posted January 4, 2022 On 11/22/2021 at 7:18 PM, Bertie Psmith said: A bloke went to a barber's shop and asked for a David Beckham cut. Half an hour later his hair was a complete mess, all tufty and sticking out all over. "That's not how David Beckham has his hair cut!" he said. "It would be if he came here." said the barber A bloke went to a barber's shop and asked for a Tony Curtis cut. (It's an old joke.) He fell asleep and when he woke up he was completely bald. "That's not how Tony Curtis has his hair cut!" he said. "Yes it is," said the barber, "I've seen 'The King And I' fifteen times." 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnT Posted January 8, 2022 Share Posted January 8, 2022 You know you are getting old when you and your wife are getting all excited at the prospects of her going for implants and you are discussing teeth 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted January 8, 2022 Share Posted January 8, 2022 What do we learn from Cows, Buffalo and Elephants? It's impossible to reduce weight by eating grass, salads and walking. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted January 8, 2022 Share Posted January 8, 2022 A recent study has found that Women who carry a little too much weight, live longer than Men who mention it. 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigsty Posted January 8, 2022 Share Posted January 8, 2022 I'm going to start a business specialising in cleaning toothpaste specks off bathroom mirrors. It's a job I can see myself doing. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted January 9, 2022 Share Posted January 9, 2022 15 hours ago, pigsty said: It's a job I can see myself doing. Then again, on reflection.... 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 On 1/8/2022 at 6:18 PM, pigsty said: I'm going to start a business specialising in cleaning toothpaste specks off bathroom mirrors. It's a job I can see myself doing. But if you make a mess of it will you be able to look yourself in the face? 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Ian- Posted January 11, 2022 Share Posted January 11, 2022 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted January 11, 2022 Share Posted January 11, 2022 The umbrella was going to be called the brella. But then the inventor hesitated. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAF4EVER Posted January 11, 2022 Share Posted January 11, 2022 They are not getting any better 😞 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnT Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 Not sure if this has been seen before but the young orangutan reaction to a magic trick is priceless. https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=orangutan+watching+a+ball+disappear&client=safari&channel=iphone_bm&source=hp&ei=VV7gYZehA9mW8gKu-YKADw&oq=orangutan+watching+a+ball+disappear&gs_lcp=ChFtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1ocBADMgUIIRCgAToOCAAQjwEQ6gIQjAMQ5QI6CAgAEIAEELEDOgsIABCABBCxAxCDAToFCAAQgAQ6DgguEIAEELEDEMcBENEDOgsILhCABBDHARCvAToOCC4QgAQQsQMQxwEQrwE6BQguEIAEOggILhCABBCxAzoOCC4QgAQQsQMQxwEQowI6DQguELEDELEDELEDEAo6CAgAELEDEIMBOgcIABCxAxAKOgoILhCxAxCDARAKOgQIABAKOgsILhCABBCxAxCDAToGCAAQFhAeOggIIRAWEB0QHjoHCCEQChCgAToECCEQFVC2DFik7AFg8fkBaANwAHgAgAH2AogB6CqSAQgxLjM3LjAuMZgBAKABAbABDw&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-hp#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:bc85ec27,vid:rNWPqfCJDnc,st:0 To think they are endangered too 2 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted January 14, 2022 Share Posted January 14, 2022 My mate has started a business designing clothing for stilt walkers. Early days, but he says he's already making giant strides..... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fnick Posted January 14, 2022 Share Posted January 14, 2022 1 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Puff Posted January 14, 2022 Share Posted January 14, 2022 He looks competent alongside ours ... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
593jones Posted January 15, 2022 Share Posted January 15, 2022 21 hours ago, Admiral Puff said: He looks competent alongside ours ... You have my deepest sympathy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigsty Posted January 15, 2022 Share Posted January 15, 2022 According to the news that chap who's just had a transplant from a pig isn't all that happy about it. He said "It's bacon, my heart." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenko Posted January 15, 2022 Share Posted January 15, 2022 2 hours ago, pigsty said: According to the news that chap who's just had a transplant from a pig isn't all that happy about it. He said "It's bacon, my heart." I'm glad it went well and the surgeons didn't make a pigs ear of it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted January 16, 2022 Share Posted January 16, 2022 How do Dragons blow out candles? 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Swindell Posted January 16, 2022 Share Posted January 16, 2022 24 minutes ago, Pete in Lincs said: How do Dragons blow out candles? Bit like fighting fire with fire eh? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenko Posted January 16, 2022 Share Posted January 16, 2022 (edited) 3 hours ago, Pete in Lincs said: How do Dragons blow out candles? 3 hours ago, Dave Swindell said: Bit like fighting fire with fire eh? I this what they call a flame out ??? Edited January 16, 2022 by jenko 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Gordon Posted January 17, 2022 Share Posted January 17, 2022 12 hours ago, Pete in Lincs said: How do Dragons blow out candles? My mother just used to scowl at them. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Puff Posted January 17, 2022 Share Posted January 17, 2022 14 hours ago, Alex Gordon said: My mother just used to scowl at them. My mother-in-law only had to glance ... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted January 19, 2022 Share Posted January 19, 2022 I asked a supermarket worker where I could find the tinned pears and she said, "I'll see.", and walked away. She did not re-appear so when I saw another staff member I asked him and he said, "I'll see.", and walked away. At that point I decided to just look for them myself. I eventually found them in Aisle C. 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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