593jones Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 6 hours ago, Bullbasket said: Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!" That's a joke that will run and run! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NigelD Posted December 15, 2021 Share Posted December 15, 2021 Two vampire bats are hanging about as bats tend to do. One notices that his companion has blood all around his mouth and face. "Wow, where did you get all that blood, you lucky thing?" "You see that tree over there?" "Yes" "Well I didn't!" 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Ian- Posted December 16, 2021 Share Posted December 16, 2021 I couldn't understand why Siri kept on calling me Shirley. Then I remembered, I'd switched my phone to Airplane mode. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnT Posted December 16, 2021 Share Posted December 16, 2021 11 hours ago, NigelD said: Two vampire bats are hanging about as bats tend to do. One notices that his companion has blood all around his mouth and face. "Wow, where did you get all that blood, you lucky thing?" "You see that tree over there?" "Yes" "Well I didn't!" didnt hear it either 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnT Posted December 16, 2021 Share Posted December 16, 2021 Two bats are flying around a field hunting for insects. One flies right smack into his mate who says “Are you deaf or something. Listen where you are going next time” 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted December 17, 2021 Share Posted December 17, 2021 My wife said, "I've got piles and piles of ironing to do." I said, "Which is worse?" 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted December 19, 2021 Share Posted December 19, 2021 For sale, small quantity of the new Airfix Snowman kit. Unassembled. Prices frozen until the Spring. (Well it's cold enough, so I thought I'd go for it). 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circloy Posted December 20, 2021 Share Posted December 20, 2021 23 hours ago, Pete in Lincs said: For sale, small quantity of the new Airfix Snowman kit. Unassembled. Prices frozen until the Spring. (Well it's cold enough, so I thought I'd go for it). Shipping delays - Now expected July/August. Expect mis-molded parts & new waterproof packing. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenko Posted December 20, 2021 Share Posted December 20, 2021 For sale A packet of Polo's in mint condition. Dick 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenko Posted December 20, 2021 Share Posted December 20, 2021 What's the difference between Snow men and Snow women Snow balls Dick 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Ian- Posted December 21, 2021 Share Posted December 21, 2021 (edited) It's the 21st December now, so only 5 days left until you can buy Easter eggs. Edited December 21, 2021 by -Ian- 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenko Posted December 21, 2021 Share Posted December 21, 2021 The local wind farm have told me they really like me. They are my biggest fans.. Dick 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circloy Posted December 21, 2021 Share Posted December 21, 2021 21 hours ago, jenko said: For sale A packet of Polo's in mint condition. Dick Is that a whole pack? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenko Posted December 21, 2021 Share Posted December 21, 2021 18 minutes ago, Circloy said: Is that a whole pack? The hole lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenko Posted December 22, 2021 Share Posted December 22, 2021 1 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevehnz Posted December 24, 2021 Share Posted December 24, 2021 Sharing this, sent to me by a friend. I liked. All the best for this festive season team, hope there're plenty of modelling goodies under the tree tomorrow. Steve. 2 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted December 24, 2021 Share Posted December 24, 2021 Years ago, I had a mate who became a very successful international Poker player. Over time we kind of lost touch, but he still sends a card every Christmas. This year it was a two of spades. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 24, 2021 Share Posted December 24, 2021 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JOCKNEY Posted December 25, 2021 Share Posted December 25, 2021 On 20/12/2021 at 21:48, jenko said: What's the difference between Snow men and Snow women Snow balls Dick So that's 2 differences then as they normally come as a set 🤣 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenko Posted December 29, 2021 Share Posted December 29, 2021 I see the Police are getting into Social Media. Even our local Bobby is doing a Plod Cast. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FalkeEins Posted December 29, 2021 Share Posted December 29, 2021 Good enough for a cracker Dick ! ..how do you keep cool at a football match ? sit next to the fans ! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted December 29, 2021 Share Posted December 29, 2021 The Kids bought me Wallace and Gromit pyjamas for Christmas. They have to be sent back, It's the wrong trousers! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FalkeEins Posted December 29, 2021 Share Posted December 29, 2021 You should never lie on your CV... it just puts creases in it.. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted January 2, 2022 Share Posted January 2, 2022 I hear they are developing a mind controlled air freshener… it makes scents if you think about it! 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony C Posted January 4, 2022 Share Posted January 4, 2022 NO....I mustn't laugh! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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