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Short CLEAN Jokes IV -Just when you thought it couldn't get any worser


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A driver pulls up in a street in Birmingham and asks the bloke on the opposite side of the street if there is a B and Q in Wolverhampton.

 

The bloke replies ..... I don't think so but there are definitely 2 D's in Dudley.

 

Dick 

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On 10/24/2021 at 3:04 PM, jenko said:

A driver pulls up in a street in Birmingham and asks the bloke on the opposite side of the street if there is a B and Q in Wolverhampton.

 

The bloke replies ..... I don't think so but there are definitely 2 D's in Dudley.

 

Dick 

 

I really did laugh out loud!

What has four legs and an arm?

 

A happy pit bull terrier

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God is a creative kind of person, as we know, so I think he is like all modellers. That's why I don't believe he made the universe in a week. I think he messed around for six days and then pulled an all-nighter, just before the deadline for the competition.

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5 hours ago, Bertie Psmith said:

Some definitions:

 

Catastrophe - first prize at the cat show

Boycott - somewhere to keep male babies

Climate - what you do with a ladder

Copulate - a tardy police response to a 999 call

Shamrock - imitation mineral

 

I'm glad you didn't include shampoo in that list.

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1 minute ago, 593jones said:

 

I'm glad you didn't include shampoo in that list.

 

I didn't need to, I've got hundreds of these .I listen to "I'm sorry, I haven't a clue."

 

Pantry - a cupboard for keeping one's underwear

Out of bounds - an exhausted kangaroo

Margin - mother's ruin

Oyster - a large crane

Porcupine - a yearning for bacon

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A bloke dies and goes to heaven and is introduced to God. He's not surprised to see Jesus sitting nearby, but between them is a bloke in a janitor's uniform with a mop in a bucket in one hand and a duster in the other.

 

"Who are you?" the bloke asks.

 

"I'm Cleanliness."

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11 hours ago, Bertie Psmith said:

I didn't need to, I've got hundreds of these .I listen to "I'm sorry, I haven't a clue."

 

That's where I used to get a lot of mine from when the "Alternative Meanings" thread was running (Before it got culled!!)

Another "sham"..........shambolic; not really much of a telling off.

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Went to the doctor and he told me to face the window and put my tongue out.

"Will that help you diagnose what's wrong with me?" I asked.

He replied, "No, but I can't stand the man across the road."

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