Silenoz Posted June 22, 2021 Share Posted June 22, 2021 Did you get lucky? I tried it on another way... I pointed him to my new resposabilities. He looked very surprised at first, till I replied that it seemed I was responsible for everything going wrong... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancona Posted June 22, 2021 Share Posted June 22, 2021 On 14/08/2020 at 10:56, Spookytooth said: I had my leg X-rayed today. The doctor told me: "Your patella measures 2.54cm." In surprise, I said: "Inch high knees?" The doctor replied: "你的髕骨尺寸為2.54厘米" He measured your ni, hao? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Head in the clouds. Posted June 22, 2021 Share Posted June 22, 2021 What is the last thing Captain Cook said to his men before boarding the ship...... "Ok men, board the ship". 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted June 25, 2021 Share Posted June 25, 2021 I like history and when I'm visiting a new town or city I like to look at places where famous people were born or lived. I once went to the house of the person who invented toothpaste but there was no plaque outside. 1 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony C Posted June 26, 2021 Share Posted June 26, 2021 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 I watched a street entertainer in town today who managed to contort his whole body into a small suitcase. I was so intrigued I asked him if he could teach me how to do it. He said he will try and squeeze me in tomorrow. 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted June 28, 2021 Share Posted June 28, 2021 On 6/25/2021 at 11:44 PM, Kiwidave4 said: I like history and when I'm visiting a new town or city I like to look at places where famous people were born or lived. I once went to the house of the person who invented toothpaste but there was no plaque outside. I bet you were in Norfolk. If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called 'teethpaste'. 1 7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bentwaters81tfw Posted June 28, 2021 Share Posted June 28, 2021 1 hour ago, GordonD said: I bet you were in Norfolk. If it had been invented anywhere else it would have been called 'teethpaste'. You know, Norfolk has the lowest crime detection rates anywhere. The DNA is all the same, and there are no dental records. 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Knight Posted June 28, 2021 Share Posted June 28, 2021 Netflix is going to do a series of programmes about famous music composers In an interview Arnie Schwarzenegger said " I'll be Bach" 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Ian- Posted June 28, 2021 Share Posted June 28, 2021 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Puff Posted June 28, 2021 Share Posted June 28, 2021 5 hours ago, -Ian- said: And we're all related ... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted July 2, 2021 Share Posted July 2, 2021 I had to go to the bank this morning. As I approached the counter, the woman behind the glass suddenly started singing 'Downtown'. I thought, "That's a peculiar clerk." 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Ian- Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 Went to a Cornish/Italian fusion restaurant yesterday. I asked for Antipasti and a Pasty, the waiter gave me an empty plate. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 So does anybody actually know what the Knights in white sat in? 11 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Puff Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Don't know, but it looks and smells pretty off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bentwaters81tfw Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Well, seeing Knights rode horses, I would think that is a clue. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Swindell Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 1 hour ago, bentwaters81tfw said: Well, seeing Knights rode horses, I would think that is a clue. Ahh, a saddle! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 The closest thing to silver? The Lone Ranger`s backside.... Simon. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bentwaters81tfw Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Correct! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkie Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Jokes about white sugar are really common Jokes about brown sugar..... Demerara 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Simon. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vince1159 Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 (edited) #'s 3 and 6 guilty....6/7/8 usually involves the help of a cat... Edited July 7, 2021 by Vince1159 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selwyn Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Whats the difference between a Knight of old and a Baker? One of them darts into the foe.................! Selwyn 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admiral Puff Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 And a variation: What's the difference between a war horse and a draught horse? One darts into the fray ... 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullbasket Posted July 8, 2021 Share Posted July 8, 2021 Brilliant Simon, and oh so true. John. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts