Kiwidave4 Posted March 13, 2021 Share Posted March 13, 2021 This morning I found myself thinking. So I shouted, "Thomeone help me, I can't thwim." 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truro Model Builder Posted March 15, 2021 Author Share Posted March 15, 2021 I wonder if the founding members of the Flat Earth Society ever wondered what a global success it would turn out to be. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circloy Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 8 hours ago, Truro Model Builder said: I wonder if the founding members of the Flat Earth Society ever wondered what a global success it would turn out to be. You can take thigs too far... ... and throw them over the edge. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him. To be fair though, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him. 1 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CedB Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 Took me a while that one Dave… To save others' grey matter, did they say 'Cheese'? 1 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 I was at my local Aldi earlier with my service dog. The lady in front of me at the checkout had about £200 worth of toilet paper in her shopping trolley. With an attitude, she asked me what type of dog I had. I told her it was my service dog. Then she got real snarky and said, I knew that. What type of service? I said he was an ALD. By now he was licking her face and hands being super friendly. She said, what is a ALD? I told her it stood for bottom Licking Dog. Did you say bottom Licking Dog? I said yeah, he has been trained to lick my bum clean because I can't seem to be able to find toilet paper because of hoarders. The cashier completely lost it. Simon. 1 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherry268 Posted March 16, 2021 Share Posted March 16, 2021 My dog keeps chasing people on bikes So I have took all his bikes away Sorry but I applying this topics title😀 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted March 17, 2021 Share Posted March 17, 2021 20 hours ago, CedB said: Took me a while that one Dave… To save others' grey matter, did they say 'Cheese'? That is a distinct possibilty!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Ian- Posted March 17, 2021 Share Posted March 17, 2021 5 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted March 17, 2021 Share Posted March 17, 2021 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vinnie Posted March 17, 2021 Share Posted March 17, 2021 On 3/16/2021 at 4:55 AM, CedB said: Took me a while that one Dave… To save others' grey matter, did they say 'Cheese'? Thanks, Ced. It was taking me a while as well. I put it it down to the Covid jab.🤣 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fatcawthorne Posted March 17, 2021 Share Posted March 17, 2021 I got this unsolicitated email earlier; they were trying to tell me that they could teach me to read maps backwards. Now that's probably Spam I thought! 1 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NigelC Posted March 17, 2021 Share Posted March 17, 2021 6 hours ago, GordonD said: Surely I'm not the only one who thought "Broadsword"? 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted March 17, 2021 Share Posted March 17, 2021 6 minutes ago, NigelC said: Surely I'm not the only one who thought "Broadsword"? No, you're not! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fifer54 Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 On 3/17/2021 at 9:04 PM, GordonD said: No, you're not! Definitely not! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenko Posted March 18, 2021 Share Posted March 18, 2021 My mate George bought his wife a fur coat made from 4000 hamster pelts. He took her to Blackpool for a holiday. It took him 3 days to get her off the big wheel. 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted March 19, 2021 Share Posted March 19, 2021 A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home now, 'Mother of six?'" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of four." Simon. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony C Posted March 23, 2021 Share Posted March 23, 2021 On 15/03/2021 at 13:49, Truro Model Builder said: I wonder if the founding members of the Flat Earth Society ever wondered what a global success it would turn out to be. That's worthy of a 'kiwidave4' Award 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony C Posted March 23, 2021 Share Posted March 23, 2021 On 17/03/2021 at 17:25, Fatcawthorne said: I got this unsolicitated email earlier; they were trying to tell me that they could teach me to read maps backwards. Now that's probably Spam I thought! Immediately followed by a second 'kiwidave4' Award 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 On 3/24/2021 at 7:08 AM, Tony C said: That's worthy of a 'kiwidave4' Award I have a feeling I did in fact post that one some time ago...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted March 25, 2021 Share Posted March 25, 2021 Had been trying to find an anagram of 'mobile sips' only to discover its impossible. 2 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CedB Posted March 26, 2021 Share Posted March 26, 2021 I want to grow my own food but I can't find bacon seeds. My wife said I never listen to her. Or something like that… I checked into the Hokey Pokey clinic and I turned myself around. I'm taking care of my procrastination issues. Just you wait and see. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truro Model Builder Posted March 28, 2021 Author Share Posted March 28, 2021 What's all this fuss about a ship stuck in the Suez wrecking the economy? According to the delivery labels, most of my stuff comes via the river Amazon, not the Suez. 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 Yorkshire holds its breath as its main shipping route of flat caps, whippets and ale is blocked. Ernie Slatherswaite, Master of the vessel told us "One minute we were fine then a small gust of wind took us." Yorkshire is set to lose upwards of £3.67 a day until the carnage is cleared, which according to Our Uncle Eric in the pub, could take weeks. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwidave4 Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 I call my wife 'her indoors' because she looks like Jim Morrison. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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