A donkey makes an a s s out of me, or how to make a complete hash of Eduards I-16.

[Gorby]

 

Moderators please note the 'a s s' in the title relates to the animal / 'silly person' meaning, NOT the body part/swearing sense.

 

One of the reasons for doing this build is to see if building a kit can still press my pleasure buttons after my year of scratching. The whole point was to do an out of the box build, sticking to the offered schemes and NOT stressing about insignificances – a nice soothing, relaxing build. It didn't turn out to be relaxing in the least. I have completed the build now - but I can't just link to the WIP log as it was done as a group build on a forum that BM considers verboten. 

 

I didn't intend doing a work in progress report for this kit. I was racked with guilt at the horrible and deeply unnatural things that I'd been subjecting the English language to. I thought I'd give it a chance to recover its dignity by giving it a rest this time. Apparently, taking part in a group build leaves me with no alternative but to torment some poor innocent words.

As always, adherence to strict historical accuracy will be paramount as with all my latest builds (pause for laughter to die down).

 

Quite early on I encountered a couple of issues. I've seen build reports on this kit that don't mention these problems, but I can't for the life of me figure out what I've done wrong. Have I ended up with a defective kit?

 

What the hell! How did that happen? The wing is about over a mill lower than the fuselage!!!!!! 

 

Even surprised/angry face and stamping it down didn't work.

 

Looking inside it seems that the fuselage is fouling on the top of the wheel well.

 

I'll need to thin out some plastic.

After getting next to nowhere with the chisel and file, I resorted to my placy-mangler (which I've never actually needed to use for modelling before) which munched away the offending areas in next to no time.

 

That helped, but there was still a smallish step that I had to sand down from the top of the wing. Inevitably I ended up overdoing it and had to fill the resulting trench.

 

What the hell! How did that happen?  This kit is beginning to make me feel like a beginner. There isn't a gap on the top of the wing so why the hell is this gaping gulf at the bottom?

 

Look I can fit my whole hand in it.

 

Not only that, when view from the side you can see there's a significant step along the whole joint with the front bit (the left) being just under 1mm lower than the back. That's a serious amount of placy that needs to be removed. After pondering the solution to this, the first-world of all first-world problems, I decided to use my new bestest friend – the placy-mangler. I can see this tool being used quite a lot in the future, but I just need to remember it probably wouldn't be a good idea to try and clean my teeth with it.

 

Eduard has long been my favourite kit maker due to it's (usually) Tamiya like quality and the fact that the prices are good enough for even a tight git like me. I don't know why this one's turned out so duff. I briefly had thoughts of launching it out the bedroom window, but I don't give up regardless of the negative effect on my mental health – I'm just not that sensible. If this kit means twenty years of counselling, so be it. Mind you it was doing my head in too much to carry on, so it languished on the work-bench of doooooom for a couple of days.

 

Happy, happy, happy.*

 

 

* Not. 

[Gorby]

During most builds, I usually have a 'what am I doing with my life' moment and it hit quite early with this one. I wasn't enjoying this kit to the point of doing something unspeakable…. For those of you that are easily shocked, you may need to look away…. I considered doing it…. I'm not sure I can say it….. wheels up!  In all my years modelling, it's never come to this before. Excuse me while I just go and wash my brain out with soap.

I really like the I-16, and in the last year whenever I have considered choosing from my micro stash, this is the kit that came to mind first. But it turned into kitzilla and I just wanted it to be over. I've heard that the undercarriage is a bit of a pain to build. I want the pain to go away, so no undercarriage.

 

Wheels up or wheels down?

 

Drawbacks:

No pilot in the kit. No problem as I've got one spare from my PE-2.

I've added seatbelts. I'll need to rip em out.

No stand included – at this rate impaling it on a spike on London bridge is definitely an option.

 

In favour:

It'll make the bad thing go away.

More for the spares box – although other than the wheels, most of it is useless for scratch-building.

Build a stand. How hard can it be?

 

I've selected/press-ganged a suitable 'volunteer', but it looks like he may need a bit more tuition.

 

He has a little know Russian name 'Ivad' or to give him his full name, 'Ivad Enoughovich'. Brave and noble he may be, but about as bright as a 5 watt light bulb.

 

I moved my attention to the undercarriage doors and once again, wished I hadn't.

(To show solidarity with any Aussie modellers, the next photo will be shown upside-down.)

 

Take that bush-fires!

 

TWELVE parts for the main wheel wells! And of course nobody will ever be abnormal enough to have them closed, so Eduard don't give us perverts any help. It turns out that the largest two parts aren't required and aren't even shown on the instructions, but still, five parts for each well. Those bloody Russians really hated modellers.

 

It looks like I'm going to have to psych myself up for this.

 

Maybe next week…..

 

Or the week after.

 

If I did a dio of it crashed in a field I wouldn’t even need ……….

[Gorby]

Now that I've chosen the path of least resistance, it appears that I've chosen the path of most resistance. After ripping a few things out and making several alterations that got me to the point of no return, I found that the bloody undercarriage doors didn't bloody fit in the bloody holes. If Eduard had made 'Play School' it wouldn't matter what shape the windows were – the glass wouldn't fit in any of them. And I found that they aren't good with numbers either, so 'Sesame Street' would be beyond their intellect. Embarrassingly, I was nearly an hour in before I realised that they've numbered the parts on the instructions the opposite side to what they should be, and all that lovely detail should be hidden on the inside.

(The bits shown above are shown after half an hour of trying to fettle one side into the correct shape (just held in with Blu Tac at this stage). The other side shows the problems).

 

I'm not going to make these perfect as that's beyond my ability I can't imagine that the real one was a thing of beauty, and it'll be on a stand anyway – you won't be able to see (I won't let you).

 

Sometimes, when a pilot is too tall, drastic measures are required (those of a squeamish nature may need to look away).

 

These are the PE cockpit hatches that I was going to pose in the open position to show off all that exquisite PE that I have now either ripped out, or will now be obscured by a pilot shaped turnip.

To give an idea of scale I've shown them with the legal tender of Gorbyopolis. This is the two bite piece. Obviously, it will only help Gorbies assess the size, but I think you'll find that's more your problem than mine.

One of the bends in these two pieces is along a very delicately perforated line. You could have knocked me down with a steam train when, who’d have guessed it, it broke rather than bent. I was going to use it to make it easier to stick in the orifice (stop it!). As virtually nothing inside the office will be visible, I just used bits of stretched around the edge. You'll have to excuse the plonker getting in the way of an informative (if very, very dull) photo. He's finding the goggles are a little on the tight side.

 

Giving some thought to attaching the impaling spike, I've packed the snout with Milliput. There's a pre-existing hole underneath and I'll shove something up there when the time comes (I said stop it!). 

 

OY, YOU THIEVING GIT! That's my entire worldly wealth.

 

 

Next up, aggravating the rivet-counters. 

[Gorby]

Quite early in the build I considered how I'm going to get the rivet-counter hate-mail flowing. I briefly considered doing a jet powered I-16 what-if.

 

Maybe not. 

 

I had a look at the schemes that Eduard have provided for this kit and I was quite impressed with myself for managing to say awake.

 

BORING! 

 

After a bit of Googleisation, something a little more interesting came along. apparently the Krasnaya Pyaterka ("The Red Five") aerobatic team used I-16's. They were still operational fighters, but decked out in a snazzy design, which I liked muchly.

 

It's a very, very nice design….. but no doubt to the horror to the 'only use period photos for accuracy' brigade, I thought I could improve on it.   After all, they lived in the olden days so they couldn't help it if they were wrong, not to worry, I've finally managed to put history right. Don't mention it.

I like making models – that makes me a modeller. Not a historian. My aim is to make models that I like the look of. I don't give monkeys about the 'correct' colours. I fail to understand the mindset of someone who thinks they can dictate how you paint your model. My model my rules – your model your rules. Why the hell does it matter so much, it's just a bloody model?

 

I'm going to try something a bit different with this, but first I need to start with a blank canvas. The primer went on a little thick to the point of getting a bit of orange peel effect, but if there is one thing marriage has taught me – you don't point out cellulite. A couple of hours later I went to sort it out and it had completely self levelled. At least somethings going right for me in this build.

 

Normally I'd get to work with my crayons and only start to think about masking off to spray the insignia etc. afterwards. Things are going to different with this. First colour:

 

You may have noticed that the pilot has had species realignment surgery and is now identifying as a dog. He seems happier.

 

At least the Soviets had one of the easier insignia to mask:

 

Another blast with primer after applying my star stickers. This mask is only on temporarily to help me line up the masks either side.

 

The pen lines are to make it easier to line everything up. Remove centre mask and spray the black bits.

 

Mask off the bits that are supposed to stay black.

 

It seemed to be going so well. Due to the various paint stages, the masking tape was on for three days and this is the result. 

 

The red had been on for at least 24 hours before it was masked. I've never had this happen before.

 

I was rapidly heading for 'can't be bothered' territory with this one. Just as I think I'm getting close, some git keeps moving the goal posts. I was quite enamoured with the overall effect, which was the thing that gave me a kick up the rear to keep me going.

Here and elsewhere, I've seen some lovely brush painting – with that in mind, rather than mask off and spray, I thought I'd give it a go. Apparently brush painting isn't my forte either – after three coats it was just getting streakier.

 

No option other than to spray. I remembered that, for some forgotten reason, we have several lifetimes supply of post-it notes – the curse of shopping at Costco, you need one of something and end up with half a house full. It took five coats of paint to cover the brush marks. There's going to be so much paint on the tail that it'll need a tog rating.

 

Even with the post-its, there was significant irritation. Stronger words than 'bloody' were used. Quite a lot of them in fact. 

 

I know that you can't take too much excitement in one sitting, so the full paint job will be unveiled to a desperately eager world in the RFI. 

[Gorby]

 

That got me to this point:

 

I did test fit the nose before it was painted, surprise, surprise, it didn't fit afterwards - and not by a thickness of paint, this involved serious plastic shedding. Obviously I used stunt fingers for this shot.

 

Eduards intended method of attaching the prop is a bit of a joke. They provide a stupidly tiny spindle, the size of punctuation. I applied the tiniest of tiny drops of glue to the very tip – useless, the prop fell off. Then I applied a fraction more glue and the spindlly thing stuck solid, but the prop still fell off.

 

Out with the drill and assorted tubing to make something better myself.

 

The plan was to use a hair-dryer borrowed from Mrs Gorby (not having any use for one myself) and use it to spin the prop in the final photos (preferably when she was out so that I didn't get the 'what did I do to deserve this' look from her again). Didn't work – too much friction.

 

The last thing was to do a stand. I'm still not in the wood mangling mood at the mo and I didn't feel that this little monster of a kit was worth going the extra mile for. Fortunately I remembered something that would be suitable, if not better. A few years ago Mrs Gorby was given a pretty expensive candle. I've never really understood the concept of a pricey gift that you set light to, but this one caught my attention because it had it's own thick, cork mat base. I turned out to be perfect, but I'm not showing to you yet because you're not worthy. Sorry and all that, but there's no point beating around the bush about it is there. 

 

Hope you've enjoyed the ride – sorry your ticket isn't valid to go around again.

 

If you've managed to get this far without self-harming, the RFI is here:

 

[Richard502]

These pesky I-16s appear to have a life of their own, a life dedicated to annoy us modelers. When building one years ago I did encounter the badly fitting nose/engine panel. After a lot of fiddling and wittling it did fit, sort of. Immediately after the glue had set I realized it was on upside down - machine gun barrels at the bottom! When it came to decaling it turned out some decal softening solution was on order. Sloshed it on, thinking "this stuff is rather syrupy today....on NOOO, that's the glue!" 

So whatever misfortune you had with this kit, you did a great job sorting the problems out.

Richard

[hendie]

Thanks Gorby - I thoroughly enjoyed the read.  Just what I needed after a weekend of working on a Classic Airframes Venom

[SleeperService]

8 hours ago, hendie said:

Thanks Gorby - I thoroughly enjoyed the read.  Just what I needed after a weekend of working on a Classic Airframes Venom

I feel for you. In my case it's a Sanger Blenheim IV (to ensure Airfix announce one for 2021)

 

@Gorby I feel your pain. However the wonderful WIP has illuminated my drab and dusty life almost as much as the first warm day of the year. Perhaps we should form The Grand Order of Eduard Blasphemers. The wing root issue is there on my P-39 kit as well. I need a bigger swear box.

[Marklo]

Nice build, your nose surgery is nothing compared to what I’ve just had to do to my snark, but since it’s a scratch build it’s all my fault

 

I like a mix of oob, scratch and conversions, sometimes a good oob is just the thing to get your mojo back ( maybe not this one) but I do almost always need to break out the filler no matter how well tooled the kit is.

[Faraway]

19 hours ago, Gorby said:

I like making models – that makes me a modeller. Not a historian. My aim is to make models that I like the look of. I don't give monkeys about the 'correct' colours. I fail to understand the mindset of someone who thinks they can dictate how you paint your model. My model my rules – your model your rules. Why the hell does it matter so much, it's just a bloody model?

I had a great time reading your build commentary, especially the paragraph above, that really hit the right note with me. Despite all the problems you encountered along the way, an excellent build.👍👍👍👍👍👍

[Gorby]

19 hours ago, Richard502 said:

These pesky I-16s appear to have a life of their own, a life dedicated to annoy us modelers. When building one years ago I did encounter the badly fitting nose/engine panel. After a lot of fiddling and wittling it did fit, sort of. Immediately after the glue had set I realized it was on upside down - machine gun barrels at the bottom! When it came to decaling it turned out some decal softening solution was on order. Sloshed it on, thinking "this stuff is rather syrupy today....on NOOO, that's the glue!" 

So whatever misfortune you had with this kit, you did a great job sorting the problems out.

Perhaps we should set up a 'Bungling Modellers Support Group'? Cack-handed modellers of the world unite!

 

15 hours ago, hendie said:

Just what I needed after a weekend of working on a Classic Airframes Venom

As my mum always used to say, “There’s always someone worse off than yourself”. You have my deepest sympathies. Should I send flowers?

 

7 hours ago, SleeperService said:

the first warm day of the year.

Are you sitting to close to the fire again? It's bloody freezing just down the road. 

Eduards let me down with this one. I normally love their kits – even the P-39.

 

1 hour ago, Faraway said:

especially the paragraph above, that really hit the right note with me.

I was going to say 'It's just a bloody toy', but I thought I'd get lynched. 

 

 

Thanks all for you comments - really made me smile.