general melchett Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Quote I'm sure you will tell me why? Good lord Martian, now I refuse to believe this to be a genuine request, it's the sort of thing that halfwit Bladrick would ask... Noice work on the legs old sausage, starting to really look like a Hampden now......sorry, it's a what? 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 In a late newsflash of particular interest to the General, I am watching the "Normans" documentary on the box and who should appear on the screen? None other than General Melchett's childhood friend Speckled Jim! It seems he has now moved from Dartmouth to the sunnier climes of Southern Italy.You could have knocked me over with a pigeon feather! Astonished of Mars 👽 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 26 minutes ago, general melchett said: Good lord Martian, now I refuse to believe this to be a genuine request, it's the sort of thing that halfwit Bladrick would ask... Noice work on the legs old sausage, starting to really look like a Hampden now......sorry, it's a what? I refer the General to post number 550. Good Heavens, have we really managed to fill twenty three pages with over five hundred and fifty posts of learned and enlightening conversation in less than two months? It must be some sort of record. Maybe not the sort of record one might want but a record nevertheless and fruit of our highly trained minds. Give yourselves a round of applause everyone! Martian 👽 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
general melchett Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Quote I refer the General to post number 550. Fair enough, you're let off on this occasion...Darling was frantically whipping the cream in my Darjeeling while sitting on my lap when I typed this, so I was momentarily distracted by all the noise and commotion. He has been severely reprimanded. Quote In a late newsflash of particular interest to the General, I am watching the "Normans" documentary on the box and who should appear on the screen? None other than General Melchett's childhood friend Speckled Jim! It seems he has now moved rom Dartmouth to Southern Italy.You could have knocked me over with a pigeon feather! 2 Can't blame the blighter for moving south to sunnier climes but for the umpteenth time he cannot be my long lost boyhood love, he was converted to battlefield fertilizer back in 1917...If he appeared in this documentary and as you say recently moved to Southern Italy then he must be knocking on 947 years of age...thought he smelled a bit off, (put it down to Bladricks fragrant Douché & Banana,'Odour Latrine water 1918')... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 7 minutes ago, general melchett said: Fair enough, you're let off on this occasion...Darling was frantically whipping the cream in my Darjeeling while sitting on my lap when I typed this, so I was momentarily distracted by all the noise and commotion. He has been severely reprimanded. Can't blame the blighter for moving south to sunnier climes but for the umpteenth time he cannot be my long lost boyhood love, he was converted to battlefield fertilizer back in 1917...If he appeared in this documentary and as you say recently moved to Southern Italy then he must be knocking on 947 years of age...thought he smelled a bit off, (put it down to Bladricks fragrant Douché & Banana,'Odour Latrine water 1918')... Or he is alive and well and Captain Slackbladder was wrongly and maliciously convicted. Free the Slackbladder one! Martian (Fighting for civil liberties across the Galaxy) 👽 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 22 hours ago, Martian Hale said: I'm sure you will tell me why? I was afraid it was a reference to a passing whim you may have to resign from BM and join an independent modelling site. It seems to be all the fashion. To paraphrase a certain Les Dawson character, "I think I can say without fear of contraception, it wouldn't be the same without you". Nice landing gear, and if I may, the inner doors, drill the holes first, resting on a wooden block, then cut the sheet to size. Much easier. How come you have time to watch TV? I don't, I must be doing something wrong. I blame BM! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian Posted February 26, 2019 Author Share Posted February 26, 2019 5 minutes ago, Pete in Lincs said: How come you have time to watch TV? I don't, I must be doing something wrong. I blame BM! Even a Martian has to do something while his work is drying so I sit and watch TV whilst annoying the massive on BM. I've got stuff setting now so be afraid, be very afraid! 6 minutes ago, Pete in Lincs said: I was afraid it was a reference to a passing whim you may have to resign from BM and join an independent modelling site. It seems to be all the fashion. To paraphrase a certain Les Dawson character, "I think I can say without fear of contraception, it wouldn't be the same without you" Don't panic! I'm not going anywhere, doubtless to the disappointment of many! 6 minutes ago, Pete in Lincs said: Nice landing gear, and if I may, the inner doors, drill the holes first, resting on a wooden block, then cut the sheet to size. Much easier. Now he tells me! Martian 👽 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corsaircorp Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 On 2/25/2019 at 10:22 PM, Martian Hale said: Or he is alive and well and Captain Slackbladder was wrongly and maliciously convicted. Free the Slackbladder one! Martian (Fighting for civil liberties across the Galaxy) 👽 I told you so !! The trial was not fair at all, since Georgina was the Slackbladder's lawyer... Nice legs Dear tentacled one… Nice legs... 🤔 CC 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian Posted February 27, 2019 Author Share Posted February 27, 2019 2 hours ago, corsaircorp said: I told you so !! The trial was not fair at all, since Georgina was the Slackbladder's lawyer... Nice legs Dear tentacled one… Nice legs... 🤔 CC Thanks CC. I agree about the trial, not only did the defence lawyer display incompetence on an industrial scale but the prosecution brief was overtly displaying a personal grudge against the accused and the president of the court martial was totally biased and overwrought throughout the entire case. The first hint of this was when Captain Slackbladder said "I'm dead!" before the case had even begun. Shocked of Mars 👽 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corsaircorp Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 2 hours ago, Martian Hale said: Thanks CC. I agree about the trial, not only did the defence lawyer display incompetence on an industrial scale but the prosecution brief was overtly displaying a personal grudge against the accused and the president of the court martial was totally biased and overwrought throughout the entire case. The first hint of this was when Captain Slackbladder said "I'm dead!" before the case had even begun. Shocked of Mars 👽 Clearly !! It show us that Capt Slackbladder is a clever man !! Again Our Dear @general melchettseem to over react about a plump breasted pigeon !! And a speckled one Indeed !! Then Darling was not fair either !! On a more realistic note my Dear Alien, did you ever fire a Webley ?? If one it that stupid pigeon with a .455, even from a Webley... Your pigeon will be vaporised and there will not stay enough bits for a spoon... Let's have a blue Chimay on that one !! Sincerely. Seasprite CC 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian Posted February 27, 2019 Author Share Posted February 27, 2019 I fired assorted firearms when I was in the ATC and Scouts but never a Webley. Your point is well made however, if Captain Slackbladder had shot Speckled Jim there would be nowt but feathers left for him to eat which proves that he must be innocent and that a certain General of this parish is a pants judge! Martian QC 👽 PS: Straying off subject for a second, I started work on the bomb bay doors. Hopefully some pictures tomorrow when I have sorted out how the actuating mechanism works. Carry on everybody! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
general melchett Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 By George, I'm only out of the room for five minutes, (well, managing the vast acreage of M Towers and organising the shooting of a few local looters who have been seen rummaging through the Mems undercroft) and look what happens...my name besmirched and judicial qualifications called into question. It was a fair trial held by a fair and totally impartial judge and anyone that says otherwise will be shot out of hand, without the benefit of any trial! Slackbladder used a Webley Mk IV top-break, famously known to only wing small feathery animals (note what I was required to do to Darling when I needed him to act as spy at the field hospital) but play havoc with the dastardly Hun. Besides, the 'Flanders Pigeon Murderer' was a notoriously poor shot... Case closed! Talking of shooting things, I well remember long Sunday afternoons at Pirbright in the early 70's while serving HM in the prestigious role of spotty ATC oik and on one occasion being unceremoniously carted off the range and made to sit in the bus on my tod just because I set my Enfield L1A1 SLR to semi-auto fire and blew the range masters pretty dayglo pointy stick to pieces...told I was lucky not to be strung up and used as target practice by the other oiks..who mercifully, were as bad a shot as I. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perdu Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 L1A1 to semi-auto Oh that I could have had one like that instead of the doggedly single shot bugger i had to drag everywhere... Mind you if I had it would just have meant missing with lots of rounds instead of singly as I normally did My mate keeps trying to entice to his gun club to try out his Accuracy Arms miracle rifle but I am resisting manually 😀 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corsaircorp Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 22 minutes ago, perdu said: L1A1 to semi-auto Oh that I could have had one like that instead of the doggedly single shot bugger i had to drag everywhere... Mind you if I had it would just have meant missing with lots of rounds instead of singly as I normally did My mate keeps trying to entice to his gun club to try out his Accuracy Arms miracle rifle but I am resisting manually 😀 SLR L1A1, I really loved that thing !! My father used the Belgian version (FAL) but he did show me some tricks... And I start to use that rifle more than properly... I really enjoyed it... CC 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corsaircorp Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 41 minutes ago, general melchett said: By George, I'm only out of the room for five minutes, (well, managing the vast acreage of M Towers and organising the shooting of a few local looters who have been seen rummaging through the Mems undercroft) and look what happens...my name besmirched and judicial qualifications called into question. It was a fair trial held by a fair and totally impartial judge and anyone that says otherwise will be shot out of hand, without the benefit of any trial! Slackbladder used a Webley Mk IV top-break, famously known to only wing small feathery animals (note what I was required to do to Darling when I needed him to act as spy at the field hospital) but play havoc with the dastardly Hun. Besides, the 'Flanders Pigeon Murderer' was a notoriously poor shot... Case closed! Talking of shooting things, I well remember long Sunday afternoons at Pirbright in the early 70's while serving HM in the prestigious role of spotty ATC oik and on one occasion being unceremoniously carted off the range and made to sit in the bus on my tod just because I set my Enfield L1A1 SLR to semi-auto fire and blew the range masters pretty dayglo pointy stick to pieces...told I was lucky not to be strung up and used as target practice by the other oiks..who mercifully, were as bad a shot as I. Case closed ??? This case can be "Laboured".... Is there any prescription in the british martial court about the avians ??? I really enjoyed the SLR, One day at the shooting range, an empty case ricocheted on the wall and came jamming in between my head and my specs... Holy molly, the burn scar was funny enough, imagine the shape of a bullet on your face... Luckily enough there was some good medication at the club house !! Sincerely. CC 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
general melchett Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 Quote Oh that I could have had one like that instead of the doggedly single shot bugger i had to drag everywhere... Mind you if I had it would just have meant missing with lots of rounds instead of singly as I normally did 1 We were specifically told to leave the rifles alone but hey, what's the fun in that, there's nothing wrong with spraying the target Bill...laws of probability and all that...certainly, a step up from the shoulder bruising, deafening blunderbus that was the good old .303...mind you, it had a great iron rear sight, I think I almost hit the target once. The colonial contingent at Upper Heyford was kind enough to let me lose with an M16A1 on their range..had everyone running for cover and wheeling the nearby F-111s away as quickly as possible! Quote I really enjoyed the SLR, One day at the shooting range, an empty case ricocheted on the wall and came jamming in between my head and my specs... Holy molly, the burn scar was funny enough, imagine the shape of a bullet on your face... Luckily enough there was some good medication at the club house ! Not the first time I've heard of a FAL trying to kill its operator...if you didn't particularly like the fellow next to you, you could shuffle a bit to the right to ensure he came within the cartridge gas ejection range...did you upset anyone that day? or should I say was there anyone you didn't upset that day? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perdu Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 I was a better shot with the Number 4 but it was infra dig to hump one of those around in the seventies... So out of fashion my dear, oh dear CC commiserations dear fellow, ouch 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
general melchett Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 Quote I was a better shot with the Number 4 Me too, but my flop pitch follow-through wedge shot was complete rubbish... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian Posted February 28, 2019 Author Share Posted February 28, 2019 4 hours ago, general melchett said: By George, I'm only out of the room for five minutes, (well, managing the vast acreage of M Towers and organising the shooting of a few local looters who have been seen rummaging through the Mems undercroft) and look what happens...my name besmirched and judicial qualifications called into question. It was a fair trial held by a fair and totally impartial judge and anyone that says otherwise will be shot out of hand, without the benefit of any trial! Slackbladder used a Webley Mk IV top-break, famously known to only wing small feathery animals (note what I was required to do to Darling when I needed him to act as spy at the field hospital) but play havoc with the dastardly Hun. Besides, the 'Flanders Pigeon Murderer' was a notoriously poor shot... Case closed! Talking of shooting things, I well remember long Sunday afternoons at Pirbright in the early 70's while serving HM in the prestigious role of spotty ATC oik and on one occasion being unceremoniously carted off the range and made to sit in the bus on my tod just because I set my Enfield L1A1 SLR to semi-auto fire and blew the range masters pretty dayglo pointy stick to pieces...told I was lucky not to be strung up and used as target practice by the other oiks..who mercifully, were as bad a shot as I. The bones of the alleged pigeon were never positively identified as a pigeon let alone Speckled Jim and as far as I can remember, expert testimony consisted of the prosecution asking as certain General if he could see Captain Slackbladder anywhere in the court, followed be a display of histrionics form said General. I remember one occasion when we were on the Ottmore range when I was taking aim at the target, the crab air warrant ociffer in charge of the party tapped me with his boot to gain my attention so he could explain how I could improve my aim. Young Martian concentrating on what he was doing , jumps, rifle goes off, the round going heaven knows where, followed by rollicking from warrant ociffer going on about me shooting some poor farmer having a happy break in a field about a mile away. This has been toned down for BM consumption and was not quite how he put things on the day. I still feel a bit aggrieved about that, had he not prodded me, I might even have hit the target. 3 hours ago, corsaircorp said: Case closed ??? This case can be "Laboured".... Is there any prescription in the british martial court about the avians ??? I really enjoyed the SLR, One day at the shooting range, an empty case ricocheted on the wall and came jamming in between my head and my specs... Holy molly, the burn scar was funny enough, imagine the shape of a bullet on your face... Luckily enough there was some good medication at the club house !! Sincerely. CC I'm not aware of there being anything about it in Queen's Regulations. Not that I am suggesting for one moment that British military law was being made up at the trial. Finally the source of your Gallic "good looks" is revealed! Had you take the medication before or after you went shooting or even both? 1 hour ago, general melchett said: if you didn't particularly like the fellow next to you, you could shuffle a bit to the right to ensure he came within the cartridge gas ejection range...did you upset anyone that day? or should I say was there anyone you didn't upset that day? Strangely enough, Mrs Martian says it is wise to stay out of gas ejection range after I have had beer and curry. Can't think why? Martian 👽 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
general melchett Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 Quote The bones of the alleged pigeon were never positively identified as a pigeon let alone Speckled Jim and as far as I can remember, expert testimony consisted of the prosecution asking as certain General if he could see Captain Slackbladder anywhere in the court, followed be a display of histrionics form said General. 2 Ah, but the message wrapped around his little ankle and the paper hat that George, his decidedly unlearned council, provided that day in court along with the service number tattooed on the back of his skull certainly did identify him as the diseased/deceased, so that was that, all the evidence I needed for a firm conviction, kangaroo court or not... as for histrionics, why, I was distraught at the thought of his demise and my Chalfonts were playing up something rotten that day! Quote Strangely enough, Mrs Martian says it is wise to stay out of gas ejection range after I have had beer and curry. Can't think why? That I can believe if our walkaround at Telford was anything to go by.....you could, of course, offload the blame on CC's black bin-bag of Belgian beer and the cheesy nibbles... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian Posted February 28, 2019 Author Share Posted February 28, 2019 7 minutes ago, general melchett said: That I can believe if our walkaround at Telford was anything to go by.....you could, of course, offload the blame on CC's black bin-bag of Belgian beer and the cheesy nibbles... Well you chose to walk behind me! Hasn't the all those years in the rear echelon taught you anything about keeping out of the firing line? Martian 👽 PS: Word is that Darling planted the evidence to secure a conviction. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corsaircorp Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 Dear General !! Not any other prosecution !! The bin bag was there to gather the évidences !! We just destroyed samples of confiscated foreign beverages !! This Martian deserve a DSM for having carry on with his duty beyond the queen's own rules !! If my memory is not too bad, You did'nt try the rocket fuel !! Sincerely ! CC Ps, Dear Alien, I never had any beer before going on the shooting range. I was untreatable on security rules... Now after the shooting, well…. How can I say… It's classified !! CC 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Massimo Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 Beautiful detail on those legs, bays and doors!!! Well done Martian!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
general melchett Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 Quote Hasn't the all those years in the rear echelon taught you anything about keeping out of the firing line? All great commanders lead from the rear, about 35 miles from the rear admittedly, (safety in numbers)...but some just 'command from the rear'... Quote I never had any beer before going on the shooting range. Good Lord...what sort of army is this? 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martian Posted February 28, 2019 Author Share Posted February 28, 2019 5 hours ago, corsaircorp said: Dear General !! Not any other prosecution !! The bin bag was there to gather the évidences !! We just destroyed samples of confiscated foreign beverages !! This Martian deserve a DSM for having carry on with his duty beyond the queen's own rules !! If my memory is not too bad, You did'nt try the rocket fuel !! Indeed! I believe we rounded up every single beverage that had got loose! The "evidence" presented at the Slackbladder trial would never have been admissible under the Police and Criminal Evidence Act. 4 hours ago, Massimo said: Beautiful detail on those legs, bays and doors!!! Well done Martian!!! Thanks Massimo. 4 hours ago, general melchett said: Good Lord...what sort of army is this? Agreed! Heaven knows what they don't drink before going into battle! Although I am given to understand that in these more enlightened times, the British Army relies more upon a choice between fighting the enemy or turning and facing the likes of our esteemed General resplendent in his battle underpants that we were so "privileged" to have a preview of on this august forum recently. 5 hours ago, corsaircorp said: I was untreatable on security rules... Security rules or not, most would agree that you are pretty much untreatable! (Will you never learn CC?) Martian 👽 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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