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Tzulscha

'Tis the Season...to Grump

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7 hours ago, Beardie said:

Kevin the carrot and the Coca Cola truck. I had heard there had been complaints made by parents whose kids were traumatised that Kevin the Carrot was gonna be killed as his lorry slides off the cliff.

So they need to watch the original Italian job. Though that doesn't really have anything to do with Christmas so why is that bit in the stupid advert? Tut!

 

9 hours ago, hairystick said:

Interesting place since they develop and build the highest performance aeronautical device (in its category) on the planet. The boss walks around in slippers...

That will be Santa's sleigh then?

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8 hours ago, Beardie said:

Well who sponsors Santa then? I thought his outfit was red and white because Coca Cola 'owned' his Donkey

I have it on good authority that Santa is a Liverpool supporter as is the case with many Scandinavians. 

 

YNWA

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21 hours ago, Pete in Lincs said:

That will be Santa's sleigh then?

Ahhhhh, no.

Have you read the "blurb" about  Santa's delivery and the potential physics involved in the Fat Man doing his delivery round? Quite entertaining...

http://www.daclarke.org/Humour/santa.html

 

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Oh the excitement of getting up on Sunday morning to a full page of freshly fallen grump. :penguin:

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1 minute ago, Gorby said:

Oh the excitement of getting up on Sunday morning to a full page of freshly fallen grump. :penguin:

That sounds suspiciously like ‘enjoyment’ - heretic. You need to do whatever the opposite of lightening up is.🤯😱😡

 

 

Pfft.

 

Trevor

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Christmas in the T household tends to be a bit stressful as Mrs T hates shopping and gets all worked up over it. The rest is a cake walk as I know that my sister in law and family are coming up and what food to do and looking forward to my Christmas books that were bought at Telford. 

What does annoy me is the playing of Christmas music so early and the TV ads. My 22 year old student teacher daughter is planning on turning her room into a Christmas grotto, she is good at making things. 

 

Edited by Mr T

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10 hours ago, Max Headroom said:

Seeing adverts for ‘book now for your Christmas meal’ to avoid disappointment.

 

In the first week of September.

 

BTW hot cross buns are now available.

 

 

 

First week of September?

 

That's late! Usually see them starting in July around these parts.

 

And hot cross buns are available all year round in these parts.

 

I live in a strange place, obviously.

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1 hour ago, Whofan said:

I live in a strange place, obviously.

Didn't like to say...........:evil_laugh:

Least it ain't Kiddi....:whistle:

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3 hours ago, MAD STEVE said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

:santa: MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!! :santa:

Oh you sad mad perverted bar steward!

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1 hour ago, Whofan said:

I live in a strange place, obviously

This is the BM grump thread, we all live in a strange place.

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11 hours ago, Troy Smith said:

 I bought a load of hideous Christmas LPs at 10p a go....

 

 

 

Why? In the name of god why?😲

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14 hours ago, Scimitar said:

No!

It's a wonderful time of the year. Did that sound convincing?..thought not..so..

Families. Estranged daughter in law wants us all round there. Son wants us in to him. Other son and daughter in law want us out there.

I fancy climbing a hill with a flask of coffee and some sandwiches.

I can really see that happening..not!

Hi Rich,

Look forward to seeing how you resolve this one, I just assumed you'd be going east again. Do you get any say in this or does Mrs. Scimitar just issue you with the itinerary & timings.

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9 minutes ago, spaddad said:

Why? In the name of god why?😲

 

Quote

On the Christmas subject, about 20 years ago, in a charity shop in Hove,  in summer,  looking through a mass of records, I came to the realisation that everyone loathsome or tacky had made an Christmas LP....  and  it was summer, and taking the double negative of not like Christmas much, and artist I despised making Christmas records into a positive  I bought a load of hideous Christmas LPs at 10p a go....

 

I should add I had an interest in sonic extremes....  and these really counted as being hideous and unlistenable....  actually I mostly just used to show them to people, that was usually enough :rofl:

The Pinky and Perky Christmas LP is one I did play....  if you have a turntable that runs at 16rpm, and you play that the voices sound normal. 

 

On similar tangent, if you play a Jello Biafra spoken word LP at 45 he sounds like Daffy Duck,  @Beard might appreciate that.    

 

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2 minutes ago, Troy Smith said:

 

 

I should add I had an interest in sonic extremes....  and these really counted as being hideous and unlistenable....  actually I mostly just used to show them to people, that was usually enough :rofl:

The Pinky and Perky Christmas LP is one I did play....  if you have a turntable that runs at 16rpm, and you play that the voices sound normal. 

 

On similar tangent, if you play a Jello Biafra spoken word LP at 45 he sounds like Daffy Duck,  @Beard might appreciate that.    

 

You need to get back on your meds mate.

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1 hour ago, PhoenixII said:

Didn't like to say...........:evil_laugh:

Least it ain't Kiddi....:whistle:

Oh, it is ...................!

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I'm actually not so grumpy. Remember how I hate my extended family and cringed at a family christmas lunch, well turns out my idiot extended family are also tight and my aunts housemates sister cut up rough 'cos she didn't want to pay for lunch for herself and her daughter.....the entitlement is strong with that one and since no one else wanted to pay for them, looks like I'm off the hook as "the grinch who destroyed christmas lunch''. Yay.

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12 hours ago, Beardie said:

Kevin the carrot and the Coca Cola truck. I had heard there had been complaints made by parents whose kids were traumatised that Kevin the Carrot was gonna be killed as his lorry slides off the cliff. I didn't believe it so I looked it up. Yes there have been three official complaints made apparently. What I was more disgusted about was that it went on in the article to talk of the complaints on twitter (full of nasty swearwords) from people disgusted that Aldis had 'hi-jacked' the Coca Cola truck which they were thoroughly committed to and saw as the start of Christmas. My God what have we come to in this country when people get violently and abusively angry that one company borrows (with permission) another highly successful and totally profit oriented company's Christmas money making engine. Apparently Coca Cola tweeted (or is it twittered) asking Kevin if he needed a tow. Apparently Coca Cola had been totally onboard with the advert so I guess all those angry at Aldi's should now attack Coca Cola themselves.

 

Oh, on a side note - Kevin is a living breathing carrot and, in the aforementioned advert the rear of the lorry is shown to contain two crates of Carrots all crammed in without any room to breathe. Are they destined for the ovens? Is Kevin a carrot trafficker? or a serial killer? Also, what do the kids who love Kevin think when they are served carrots?

Not being much of a TV watcher I have seen the ALDI advert and thought it was really good Mickey take.

On the grump side getting dragged out the wife to go Christmas shopping with my daughter who is so disorganised I could keep this one going on all on my own.

I should point out my wife is so organised all shopping done in the sales and all wrapped already, no gripes about her.[just now anyway]

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There's a food pub on the Southern Outskirts of Lincoln.

They advertise Christmas day Dinner for 59.99.

That's British Pounds.

Twenty quid per course!

Drinks extra.

I do not think so, Garcon.

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I must admit that I have never, ever had a good Christmas night out meal. As far as I am concerned it should be "Don't book now to avoid disappointment".

 

I have to add that I find that, on the whole, eating out has always been a disappointment to me. Last time me and the missus went out for a meal to an expensive restaurant my wife had a nice black 'short and curly' in her food. I dread to think where that hair came from, it certainly didn't look like it came from the scalp region.

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I can't remember the last time i went for a meal over christmas,rip off prices and the hassle of getting home if you've been drinking not to mention the racket from people in the restaurant....

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18 minutes ago, Beardie said:

my wife had a nice black 'short and curly' in her food. I dread to think where that hair came from, it certainly didn't look like it came from the scalp region.

If you went to a Chinese, it was probably a dog hair. Labradoodle is a speciality allegedly.

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This weekend's grump is to do with my favourite rugby team being spectacularly rubbish and losing to Ireland,....  again...... 

2019 shaping up to be a massive disappointment.

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16 hours ago, noelh said:

the John Lewis ad

Wasn't it clever of them to recognise that the wee boy was going to grow up to be a rock star and film him every year. :whistle:

 

9 hours ago, MAD STEVE said:

I have officially been branded a Christmas Grump by my lovely dear wife and daughters

Well done that man.

Such recognition was long overdue.:thumbsup:

 

 

In case you had mislaid it from last year https://www.noradsanta.org/

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20 minutes ago, bentwaters81tfw said:

I dread to think where that hair came from

Where do women have the curlier, darkest hair....??????

 

 

 

In Africa, dear friend, in Africa.......

 

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Talking of 'in-laws' (and if we weren’t, I'm going to) my brother-in-law turned up at the door this morning. I have five brother-in-laws and this one is by far my least favourite, unfortunately he lives about 200 yards away and often comes around to give us the benefit of his idiocy. He is a walking, talking Daily Fail editorial who, if he were to study diligently and tries hard to make an extra special effort, could work his way up to being a half-wit. When I saw him, I realised what a medieval villager must have felt at the arrival of the black death, even Hare Krishna would tell him to “:swear: off we're full”.

 

Mrs Gorby was getting ready to go out and I was getting ready to enjoy Mrs Gorby going out, the prospect of an afternoon of solitary bliss.

 

“I'm just about to go out" she says.

 

“That's all right, I won't stop” he says as he takes his coat off and makes himself comfortable on the sofa. He is aware that other people can speak, but deals with it as an annoying background noise that means he has to raise his voice to drown it out. His skin would make rhino hide feel like finest silk.

 

I do anything I can (other than using an angry mob) to avoid spend any time with him, as countering his bigotry is like arguing politics with a parrot, you'll win, but it's not something to take pride in, and the parrot won't have understood a single word you've said. I did feel a bit a of a cad leaving Mrs Gorby to deal with it, but I'll get over it….. oh, it looks like I have.

 

50 minutes it took to get the bugger out.

 

Moving house is starting to look like the best option – that's since Mrs Gorby told me that murder was out of the question…

 

….or at least a last resort.

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