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Bonhoff

Short Jokes III - Worst in the Series

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I've just bought a DeLorean car.

 

I will only be using it from time to time. 

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1 hour ago, Kiwidave4 said:

People are often shocked to discover I am not a very good electrician.

But he is a bright spark.

 

Did you work on the volted church ceiling??

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9 hours ago, jenko said:

But he is a bright spark.

 

Did you work on the volted church ceiling??

No I dont get out much, prefer ohm sweet ohm.

 

In fact I know little about electricity - its only recently I found out a diode is not a Welsh poem.

 

 

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2 minutes ago, Kiwidave4 said:

No I dont get out much, prefer ohm sweet ohm.

 

In fact I know little about electricity - its only recently I found out a diode is not a Welsh poem.

 

 

And all he wants for Christmas is an Amper

 

I think this line of jokes has got capacity...…. do not resist or else we might re fuse

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Oh yes, let's all pylon with electricity gags.  Socket to 'em, even.

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I this a current trend ??

 

Power to the people...………….. 🔌

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Rare, only recently

 declassified,

photo from Russian secret archives!

 

Stalin laughs at Churchill's outdated iPhone:

2667238_600.jpg

😁

Soviet gunners troll Hitler in social networks Third Reich

on forum Reich Chancellery:

0_14da0a_8733327_orig.jpg

😁

Pay attention to the imperfection of the social system of the USSR in WW2 - one military smartphone for three!

😁😁😁

 

Resource:

https://varjag-2007.livejournal.com/10155660.html

 

https://oper-1974.livejournal.com/554993.html

 

 

 

B.R.

Serge

 

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16 hours ago, Aardvark said:

Rare, only recently

 declassified,

photo from Russian secret archives!

 

Stalin laughs at Churchill's outdated iPhone:

Actually that photo nearly never came to pass.

 

During the conference Stalin spotted Roosevelt slipping Churchill a note and demanded to see it. It read A DEAD BIRD NEVER LEAVES ITS CAGE. He immediately suspected that they were plotting against him and threatened to pull the Soviet Union out of the war unless they gave him a full explanation. After a tense moment Roosevelt showed Stalin a note that Churchill had already passed him: YOUR FLY IS OPEN!

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A mathematician's wife sends him to the corner shop. "Bring back a pint of milk," she says. "And if they have eggs, bring half a dozen."

 

He comes back with six pints of milk and explains, "They had eggs."

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They asked at the job interview, "Why do you want to be Editor?"

 

"Well," said I, "To cut a long story short".

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According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The phone rings.

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you would end up not creating a splash at all..............................................

 

 

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No one uses the word morose any more. I think it's quite sad.

 

And I'm sorry that I can't find a use in that statement for the word contrite.

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I never found Jurassic Park very convincing.  It was a real by-the-numbers pot-boiler and you could tell their hearts weren't in it.  That scene where they diagnosed a Triceratops by poking around in a pile of dung - I thought, they're just going through the motions.

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Posted (edited)

deleted

Edited by jenko

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I have a Russian friend who's a sound engineer.

 

There's a Czech one too.

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I just downloaded Bohemian Rhapsody but I know it was recorded in the cinema because I see a little silhouette of a man

 

IanJ 

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(Shamelessly stolen and modified frm Peter Rhodes;)

 

My wife threatened to cut off the bottom of my trouser leg and put it in a library.

 

That's a turn-up for the books.

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^^^^ They don't get any worse than that. :chair:

 

 

Does your wife have a flare for this sort of thing ???

 

 

Dick

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