Jump to content

Short Jokes III - Worst in the Series


Recommended Posts

NASA is to allow tourists to visit the International Space Station from next year, priced at $35,000 (£27,500) per night.

 

Getting kicked out of the room after 11am just got serious!

  • Haha 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

An 8 year old girl went to office with her father on "Take Your Kid to Work Day."

As they were walking around the office the young girl started to get visibly upset. 
Her father asked what was wrong.

As the staff gathered round, she sobbed loudly, "Daddy where are all the clowns that you said you worked with?"

  • Like 1
  • Haha 15
Link to post
Share on other sites

The first time I met my wife, my head was spinning and my knees were going weak.
 
It was then I realised I'd put the Rohypnol in the wrong drink.

 

Graham

  • Haha 10
Link to post
Share on other sites

Joke shamelessly stolen from an episode of Chernobyl.

 

 

Q: What is the size of a house, uses a thousand tons of coal an hour and cuts apples into three pieces?

 

A: A Russian made machine designed to cut apples into four pieces.

 

 

Cheers,

 

Nigel

  • Haha 7
Link to post
Share on other sites

What is the ideal cockpit crew?

A pilot and a dog.

The pilot is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to bite the pilot in case he tries to touch anything.

  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
6 hours ago, Kiwidave4 said:

My wife wanted me to sing a line from 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart'.

 

I couldn't if I tried. 
 

Nobody knows it.

 

Cheers,

 

Nigel

  • Haha 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

 Two ladies of the night talking in London.

One says to the other...." how's business ??"

 

The other one says " Fantastic…. if I had another pair of legs I'd open up in Manchester"

 

 

Dick

Edited by jenko
  • Like 2
  • Haha 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.

 

 

I'll let you know which comes first.

 

 

 

Dick

  • Haha 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

Went into a bar last night and asked, "Can I have a large brandy please?"
Barman said, "Sorry, we're short staffed."

I said, "What do you mean? There's three of you behind the bar!"

"Yeah", he said, "but none of us can reach the brandy."

  • Haha 8
Link to post
Share on other sites

The Beach Boys have given up touring and gone into lawn maintenance.

 

Turfing USA....

 

IanJ

  • Haha 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

I took the army dentist to court for malpractice as he extracted the wrong molar.

 

In court my solicitor repeatedly said, "Give me the tooth."

 

I knew I'd win my case when the dentist finally cracked and shouted, "You can't handle the tooth!"

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Mike locked this topic
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...