From Failure to Failure

[Corsairfoxfouruncle]

🎁🎉🎂 HAPPY BIRTHDAY PC !!!

[Procopius]

Hello everyone, and thank you for the birthday wishes!

 

My family didn't do anything for my actual birthday, as Mrs P was slightly sidelined with a 24-hour bug and had a work meeting, so I didn't get cake or anything. My mom did drop off two prepped but uncooked homemade pizzas for me, which were delicious, though, and I ate them alone after my family went to bed. Which sounds depressing, and like a glum end to the day, but that's because I didn't tell you the best part.

 

As you mostly know, I'm a long-time employee of a bar association (well, twelve years, eons for someone my age who was hired before the start of the Great Recession) and I've worked in my current department for six years, longer than most of my colleagues. We're downsizing (again) right now, because the world is not a great place for voluntary professional associations, most of which are in a slow death spiral. We've been packing up all of our stuff and getting ready to move to smaller shared cubicles on a new floor as we cut this one out of our lease. The floor's been full of orange packing crates for a week, and they've already started taking down the cubicles. If you've ever seen one of those youtube videos where they dismantle the set of a long-running show, you'll get both how it looks and possibly how it feels. I've worked there basically my entire adult life; I was starting over after my first three disastrous years out of college, and I've always worked on this floor. A part of my life is over, but my life continues, you know, and mostly the same. But when you're not good at change, when you hunger for consistency more than anything, any change feels like dying. 

 

I realize thirty-five doesn't seem that old to many or most of you, but it's been a long road down from thirty. I used to be able to run a 6:40 mile, leap vertically to the top of my desk (okay, I still do that to freak people out sometimes), never worried about whether my hair was thinning or how much I weighed, felt like there was still time to do all the things people have told me I should be doing at the "rich and famous" level, instead of what I do, you know, the usual. For whatever reason, it all seems so much further away now than it did at thirty, exponentially so. I've never, you know, considered myself a winner, but most people don't think that way; rather, I always felt like I was about to become a winner. That it was so close and I just had to hold on. Now all I can think about is that I don't have enough in my 401(k) and even if I did, I'll probably still have to spend the next thirty-five years of my life working, a lot of it to pay for stuff I never asked for. 

 

Pretty normal stuff. 

 

Anyway, when I got into work yesterday, my coworkers had decorated my cubicle:

 

20180315_075630 by Edward IX, on Flickr

 

There's been a long running war for control of the cubicle tops between me, my Russian coworker who sits next to me, and pretty much everyone else in the office, who's been feeding in all sorts of toys into the fray. At one point I had a small working catapult. After I left on Tuesday, they staged a peace treaty signing ceremony:

 

20180315_094410 by Edward IX, on Flickr

 

20180315_094422 by Edward IX, on Flickr

 

So I guess we have a clean slate for the new floor. Then they had a scavenger hunt for me, where I had to follow clues related to the life of Lenin (a running gag at work is that I write emails in the style of Marxist texts whenever I can get away with it) through our floor and onto a different one, where they had cupcakes and a model kit(!) waiting for me. 

 

20180315_101323 by Edward IX, on Flickr

 

20180315_101709 by Edward IX, on Flickr

 

The Russian woman who sits next to me has frequently suggested that I should build some aircraft from the Great Patriotic War, so I guess she's getting her wish, unless someone knows of Polish markings for this type of IL-2. @Learstang...? Glad I own his book on the Sturmovik now. They even managed to get me a good kit!

 

Then everyone took me out for lunch and we drank honey whiskey shots, which are exactly what they sound like and which go down about as hard as being hit in the face with a bag of marshmallow fluff. My boss was a little nervous, since I carry our social media accounts in my pocket, but was still okay with it, or at least let us. Then we went back to the office, finished packing up our cubes, re-enacted the ending scene from The Breakfast Club (really), and left our floor for the last time.

 

It was the first warm and sunny day in Chicago this year yesterday, and I'd lost a glove (I go through two or three pairs a winter), but it didn't matter, and I walked home from the train listening to "Young Adult Friction" by The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, and you couldn't have shot a better end to the day if you were making a movie.

 

 

"Dark winters wear you down/Up again to see the dawn..."

 

Anyway, let's get to what you really care about, the models. Good news and bad news.

 

The good news: my office is being moved by burly union men today, and I'm out at home. As far as anyone knows, I'm out working (I am not working). But I am working on the Blenheims (and rewatching the disappointing third season of Chuck).

 

The bad news: Do you recall that I closed up the Blenheim I nacelles in an effort to reduce gaps? Now I can't fit the exhaust stacks in and have broken one plastic one and one resin one. Yet again I have stopped screwing Future Me only because it was time to get screwed by past me. Whoops.

 

I've also been experimenting with pigment weathering on the exhausts:

 

20180316_095922 by Edward IX, on Flickr

 

I took a million photos, but the effect is subtle and hard to pick up with a camera, and for the sort of modelling that we do now, sharing it on the internet, that makes it like the proverbial tree falling in the forest. We'll see.

 

[CedB]

Sounds like you had a great, and well deserved, birthday treat PC

Nice exhausts too - things are looking up (rude things!)

[Space Ranger]

From the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex in the Lone Star State I also send birthday salutations. Speaking as one who turned 71 six months ago and had an appointment just this past Wednesday for my first set of oto-aural audio enhancements (I refuse to call them 'hearing aids'), I can tell you that you are in the prime of life. Enjoy it! That's an order.

 

By the way, what kinds of bourbon do y'all serve at that there bar association?

[Procopius]

Just now, Space Ranger said:

By the way, what kinds of bourbon do y'all serve at that there bar association?

I've hard about ten million iterations of that joke in the last decade or so. As it happens, I'm more of a rye man.

[Max Headroom]

A highly enetertaining resume of your birthday celebrations at work!

 

As you like Communist era type pronouncements, I thought that I would offer this to you.......

 

Greetings Comrade Procopius from the British Soviet of Miniaturist Co-Workers and the Internationale on the occasion of the attainment of exceeding your production target of years achieved in production in the current Five Year Plan.

 

Your determination in the accumulation of years yearly demonstrates that collectively the workers united (by controlling the means of production)  will triumph in the collective production of years.

 

Exceed your yearly target of years yearly!

 

Inspire your co-workers yearly in the attainment of their production of years!

 

Make more tractors!

 

Trevorski

 

 

 

 

[Procopius]

3 minutes ago, Max Headroom said:

As you like Communist era type pronouncements, I thought that I would offer this to you.......

 

 

 

 

Trevor, if I ever die and we need some to impersonate my intraoffice memos Weekend at Bernie's style, you're a front runner.

[HAMP man]

That is the best birthday challenge I ever read.

need to look up 'Weekend at Bernie's' though as over here that would be a lock in at a 70's Italian steak restaurant.

 

Happy birthing anniversary old chap,

 

Box On 

 

Strickers

[06/24]

As news broke on the interweb of the association peace treaty, I rejoiced a silent yaawp of joy.

 

As some of you know, I work running a very large UK equivalent of PCs 401K. If I stop to think how many people, or how much money, I am responsible for, I can only go "wibble" (Please tell me you all love Blackadder 4 as much as I do).

 

Tax year end is always a busy time, and the past three weeks have been soul crushingly hard, last night I was still at work after 10pm, and was back at it as soon as I woke today. Eventually it came down to me giving a go/no go decision based on a defect I suspected was actually an error on my part...

 

 

 

 

 

It was an error on my part...

 

 

 

 

Sucking up the pain of getting it wrong (I hate getting it wrong), we finally signed off after a long long day. 

 

As I retreated to a desk (we don't have assigned desks, let alone cubicles) to lick my wounds, the test analyst employed by our TPA, who has been through hell and back this past fortnight at my instigation, and has had to travel to our office every day to run a bunch of crushingly dull tests, came up to me, on his way out, to shake my hand and,...  to my embarrassment and in a truly humbling moment,... Thanks me, for all my help,... 

 

If the Russians, the Mid-westerners or anyone else breaks the treaty, I now know the man to negotiate a settlement. 

 

And it it isn't me...

[HAMP man]

30 minutes ago, 06/24 said:

If the Russians, the Mid-westerners or anyone else breaks the treaty, I now know the man to negotiate a settlement. 

 

And it it isn't me...

So much of that went so far over my head it had a con trail!

 

Sometimes I am glad that I am living up to my 4th form Geog Masters' yearly report 'He sets himself low targets that he consistently fails to achieve'

 

I find it helps with the modelling

 

Box On

 

Strickers

 

 

[Chillidragon]

2 minutes ago, HAMP man said:

'He sets himself low targets that he consistently fails to achieve'

That's on a par with my brother's best report:

"Rarely seen, but works well when here".

[The Spadgent]

Looks like you had a nice birthday PC, to get so much attention from your work chums is wonderful too. Nice kit btw. On our birthdays here it’s common practice that you have to buy every one else cake. It’s good to give I guess.  Happy birthday kid.

 

John

[stevehnz]

1 hour ago, The Spadgent said:

 Happy birthday kid.

What John & all the others have said, Happy Birthday from down under though even with the time differences & our head start its a belated wish now, sounds like it was memorable plus. Just remember, the 2nd 35 will take about 1/2 the time the first lot did. Now there's something to look forward to.

Steve.

[Kitsticker]

Wow PC, it seems that your colleagues do understand, and appreciate, your (very many) attributes

 

Cracking kit you got, there must be someone there with insider knowledge to choose that for you, maybe they take more notice of you than you realised

 

They obviously rate you very highly (and quite right too!)

 

Many happy returns*

 

Geoff

 

*What does that actually mean? Live long? Star Trek said it better......

 

No, I'm not

[robvulcan]

Happy Birthday PC have a wonderful time and nice pressies

[Learstang]

Happy Birthday indeed, Socialist Brother, from the South Central Texas People's Writer's Collective (which consists only of me)! You have inspired all of us with your selfless industrious spirit as you bravely move forward into the brave Socialist Future! For the People! For the Greater Collective Good! For the Gratuitous use of Exclamation Points and Capitalising Words! All seriousness aside, the Academy single-seater is a very nice kit with good detail, both interior and exterior. One thing though, fill in the rear fuselage panel lines as they are inappropriate for a middle-to-late production metal-winged single-seater that this kit represents (only a relatively few early single-seaters, which featured a different gun fit than this kit, had the metal rear fuselage). I am sorry to report that the Polish never used the single-seater, either during the war (when the Polish-piloted Shturmoviks were painted with the Soviet stars anyway), nor after the war. Za Rodinu!

 

In Socialist Solidarity,

 

Comrade Jason

 

P.S. Thank you very much for buying my humble tome on the Shturmovik! I do hope you enjoy reading it more than I did writing it - awful thing writing history books; the editors expect you to actually write facts, and to have reputable sources for your book! Darn nuisance!

Edited March 17, 2018 by Learstang
Additional comment added.

[Chillidragon]

Examining into the past, we find that we, the One Man, have been remiss in congratulating a certain Gentleman who finds his existence in Tian Xia (Heaven Below) to have been generously proclaimed by Heaven Above to be extended beyond this anniversary of his entry into this World. 

 

The Empire is commanded, therefore, to join with us in wishing the Honoured Procopius a further myriad years, fabulous wealth and countless sons.

 

Emperor LaJia Long, founder of the Fangxiang Dynasty.

[perdu]

6 hours ago, Kitsticker said:

Wow PC, it seems that your colleagues do understand, and appreciate, your (very many) attributes

 

Cracking kit you got, there must be someone there with insider knowledge to choose that for you, maybe they take more notice of you than you realised

 

They obviously rate you very highly (and quite right too!)

 

Many happy returns*

 

Geoff

 

*What does that actually mean? Live long? Star Trek said it better......

 

No, I'm not

In the words of the venerable Bede the phrase 'many happy returns' means don't come back here if you are not happy

Go to Birmingham instead

 

Obvious innit

[TheBaron]

With the worrisome levels of communist language expressed above there is a clear and present danger of precious bodily fluids being put at risk:

 

Signed: 'Concerned Citizen'

[Corsairfoxfouruncle]

One of my all time favorite movies !

6 hours ago, TheBaron said:

there is a clear and present danger of precious bodily fluids being put at risk:

 

Signed: 'Concerned Citizen'

 

[Procopius]

Since the Airfix nacelles for the Blenheim I are effectively a write-off (as I can't get the exhausts in there by hook nor crook), I've ordered the SBS parts for them. We'll see if they're any better than what Airfix gives us. 

[SleeperService]

22 hours ago, Procopius said:

Hello everyone, and thank you for the birthday wishes!

 

I realize thirty-five doesn't seem that old to many or most of you, but it's been a long road down from thirty. I used to be able to run a 6:40 mile, leap vertically to the top of my desk (okay, I still do that to freak people out sometimes), never worried about whether my hair was thinning or how much I weighed, felt like there was still time to do all the things people have told me I should be doing at the "rich and famous" level, instead of what I do, you know, the usual. For whatever reason, it all seems so much further away now than it did at thirty, exponentially so.

 

Anyway, when I got into work yesterday, my coworkers had decorated my cubicle:

 

20180315_075630 by Edward IX, on Flickr

 

There's been a long running war for control of the cubicle tops between me, my Russian coworker who sits next to me, and pretty much everyone else in the office, who's been feeding in all sorts of toys into the fray. At one point I had a small working catapult. After I left on Tuesday, they staged a peace treaty signing ceremony:

 

 

Ecclesiastes 11:9-10

⁹ Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment.

¹⁰ Therefore remove sorrow from thy heart, and put away evil from thy flesh: for childhood and youth are vanity.

 

A long winded way of saying. Live while you are young and still able. You'll only regret things you don't do...usually.

 

Love the parade/signing ceremony. Best cubicle set up I've seen in a while.

 

Best ever was at a finance company where a similar battle had been raging. I was there as a storeman and was approached by the cutest lady in the office for help. They'd got two loads of chippings one green (his colour) the other pink. Cling film across the entrance then filled the cubicle one side green the other pink. My part was to hold one end of a ladder which she lay on while pulling out the divider. The guy went ape. He left soon after.

When I say cute think Wynona Ryder/ Audrey Hepburn level. A lovely lady.

18 hours ago, Max Headroom said:

Greetings Comrade Procopius from the British Soviet of Miniaturist Co-Workers and the Internationale on the occasion of the attainment of exceeding your production target of years achieved in production in the current Five Year Plan.

 

Your determination in the accumulation of years yearly demonstrates that collectively the workers united (by controlling the means of production)  will triumph in the collective production of years.

 

Exceed your yearly target of years yearly!

 

Inspire your co-workers yearly in the attainment of their production of years!

 

Make more tractors!

 

Trevorski

 

Fantastic I'm nicking that for future reference.

17 hours ago, Chillidragon said:

That's on a par with my brother's best report:

"Rarely seen, but works well when here".

My history report was like that. Mr Hunt was stunned when I passed the O level. I attended that class twice in two years. It was held Friday afternoon and my best mate's dad finished at lunchtime. Spent the afternoon listening to superb music and learning history as only a staunch union man can teach. 

 

Happy Birthday from the Country who can't wait for Bone Spurs the Great to visit.

[Cookenbacher]

I'm just glad that Lego Hoth Soldier was there to officiate: whimsical enough to appeal to the My Little Pony Coalition, martial enough to empathize with the Little Green Army, and has seen enough of his comrades crushed underfoot on Hoth to relate to the Insect Alliance.

 

Glad you had a worthy birthday PC!

[Seahawk]

23 hours ago, Procopius said:

I realize thirty-five doesn't seem that old to many or most of you, but it's been a long road down from thirty. I used to be able to run a 6:40 mile, leap vertically to the top of my desk (okay, I still do that to freak people out sometimes), never worried about whether my hair was thinning or how much I weighed, felt like there was still time to do all the things people have told me I should be doing at the "rich and famous" level, instead of what I do, you know, the usual. For whatever reason, it all seems so much further away now than it did at thirty, exponentially so. 

 

20180315_075630 by Edward IX, on Flickr

 

 

Don't worry: it'll only get worse - exponentially!  Except for the hair bit - you won't have any.

 

Anyway, you have more immediate problems: a Russian has his tanks on your lawn desktop and the Chinese have occupied your legroom.

 

PS Happy birthday!

[Harley John]

Belated birthday greetings you young whippersnapper, you! As for your co-workers, as Lt. The Hon. George Colthurst St Barleigh would say "Permission to shout "Bravo" at an annoyingly loud volume Sir?" Well done them.

Most of the really important and wonderful things in my life came about after my 35th birthday I gained my degree, married the present Mrs Harley John, became a Grampa, bought my first Harley, got back into taking an interest in Aviation, History and bashing bits of plastic as a way of relaxing. Along the way I discovered that being happy was more fulfilling than chasing stuff. As someone once said  "Valar Morghulis" - just be as true to yourself as you can without hurting people that don't deserve to be hurt as we go. I'll finish with a quote from a mind far abler than mine who sadly left us this week, and left Sheldon Cooper without a sensei: “One, remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Two, never give up work. Work gives you meaning and purpose and life is empty without it. Three, if you are lucky enough to find love, remember it is there and don't throw it away.”