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Airfix Dornier Do217E-2 and Spitfire Mk.IX Ready for Action


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zZUMmmm,  zZUMmmm zZUMmmm zZUMmmm zZUMmmm (uneven hum of unsynchronised engines approaching) – hear that? It must be a one of theirs!

 

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“…Messerschmitt!...’Einkel!…. Messerschmitt!...No, it aint, it’s an ’Einkel!….”argue two small boys, knee deep in the river below (remember the scene from the film B of B?)

 

Dornier Pilot       “Teufel - ve are lost! That looks like the wrong river down there. Where is the iconic Forth Rail Bridge (mit der painters) that we were told about? I can only see a bridge which looks like it has taken two attempts to build.”

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Dornier Co-pilot                “Kapitan, the compass is kaput, not that I can see much of it from this new seat position! Or through these big goggles!”

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Controller            “Bandit, Angels Zero, over the River Tay. Johnny, you are nearest – can you please intercept?”

 

JE-J                         “What?? I’m at 25,000 feet over the Channel! Where did you learn your Geography?”

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Controller            “Sorry Johnny. The only other aircraft available is a ‘Lizzie’ and he has been out all night on a spy mission. You’re all we’ve got. From your height, you should be able to see him from there?”

 

JE-J                         “OK Control, but it will leave me short on fuel and I don’t know how much ammo I’ve got left…….I see him….going down now………..(VVvvvvrrrrrrooooooowwwmm …..sound of loud Merlin) ……attacking from port…..BRP…..!?!?”

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Dornier Observer “Achtung, Spitfeur!!”

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Dornier Pilot       “Hans, your aircraft recognition is excellent but now the guns man!!”

 

Dornier Top Gunner “Kapitan, I can’t move – I’m stuck to the seat and can’t reach the turret or the guns!!”

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Dornier lower gunner     “Kapitan, I can reach my gun but you are flying too low – the Englander is above us!!”

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Dornier Pilot       “Donner und Blitzen! No compass and no guns! Men, if we make it, it is half a bottle of beer for each!” (my favourite line from ‘Das Boot’). Wry smiles from the German Crew, each thinking of a gallon of Alt Bier or even some of the local Tennants ‘Export’.

 

JE-J         “Blast! Out of ammo. I might have got one shot away though! He’s not dropping bombs and he’s not firing back – let’s take a closer look!”

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Dornier Co-pilot                “Verdammit, we are hit! A small .303 bullet has bounced off our under-deck armour plate and hit the compass – but it is working again!”

 

Dornier Top Gunner       “Mein Gott, the Spitfire is flying alongside – look at that shape! Now he is looping over the top and back again!”

 

JE-J         I thought that victory roll would impress them. Super splinter camouflage job, though. Love the greens and those swastikas on the tail really make that Dornier look the business!

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Dornier pilot       This reconnaissance mission is a washout! I’m waggling my wings to let the Englander know that we are packing up out of it! Look at that speed……I wish we had Spitfires in our squadron! That’s funny, he has a green maple leaf under the cockpit – the ones I’ve seen before are red – I wonder why? Drop long range fuel tanks and set course for home!

 

Dornier Co-pilot                Jawohl Kapitan! Tanks away! Heading East!

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Two small boys, still knee deep in the river below              “Fuel tanks… mini-subs!…fuel tanks… mini-subs!”

 

Dornier Top Gunner       Next stop Norway! Wait until I get my hands on our ground crew – the modifications to the flight deck are great but the paint still wasn’t dry when we climbed in. It must have been done by Helpie Helperson, the world’s most helpful Norwegian (On the intercom…”Hello!”) – Not now, Helpie! (That Plusnet radio ad always has me in stiches!)

 

Dornier Co-pilot                Kapitan, I need steak and Guinness but since there is a war on, I’ll settle for Zigeuner Schnitzel mit Pommes und Mayo!

 

Dornier crew      (in unison) …and a half bottle of Alt Bier!!

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Controller            Bandit moving away. Divert to the nearest landing field in Dundee, Johnny.

 

JE-J         Roger, Control. Breaking off…..out of fuel…I see a patch of grass in front of a house down there and there is a boy giving me the thumbs up from a window. Home for tea….what’s on the menu in the frozen North?

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Controller            It may be Wallaces’ ‘Peh’s’ or even Forfar Bridies!

 

JE-J         Good egg! I believe I’ll ha’e an ingan ane an’ aw! (Only a Dundonian will understand this!)

 

Controller            Eh? You are breaking up, Johnny!

 

Boy at window in 1969  Wooowww!! What are they dad?

 

Dad        Let’s check these aircraft recognition cards, son…

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Boy        Whoa…. Supermarine Spitfire Mk.IX – that’s got a 1600hp Merlin engine, two 20mm cannons and can do 410mph! It’s squadron letters are ‘JE-J’ so it must be Johnny Johnson (all useful info from the Airfix Header Card!) - but that twin-engined aircraft doesn’t match this card for a Heinkel He111! What is it?

 

Dad        It’s a Dornier Do217, known as the ‘Flying Pencil’. I learned that when I was your age!

 

zZUMmmm,  zZUMmmm zZUMmmm zZUMmmm zZUMmmm zZUMmmm…...

 

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 The undercarriage did come down again after all but it looks like the aerial wire took a hit!

 

The whole point of the build was to 're-construct' the photo from 1969 (see the middle of this sequence). Original photo is in the build thread here:

 

The build was great fun, re-creating the picture was a stretch and I got carried away in making up the story but I was really keen to incorporate all the input from Britmodellers from the build thread! Many thanks to all!

 

 

 

Edited by Ventora3300
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1 hour ago, cngaero said:

Great narrative and great models.

Many thanks - the narrative and the reason for it may not make sense if you hadn't seen the build thread:

Tremendous fun and finishing just in time for supporting the 'Airfix Golden Years' Group Build.

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33 minutes ago, Burple said:

As a Dundonian.. I approve!

 

Except for the dubious east End London accent of the small boys.. (unless they were evacuees... ;)

 

Mine's a plehn' peh  :D

 

 

That's exactly what I had in mind - those boys were evacuees! It's just that that scene in the Battle of Britain Film sticks in my mind when thinking of the pulsing drone of the Luftwaffe coming in.

The pies keep popping up - I remember a TV report years ago when a visiting politician was pelted with a pie - you could see a couple of bites had been taken out. The TV Reporter said " and XXX was treated to that great Dundee delicacy, the Bean Pie!"

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You are absolutely crackers! 

A nice sort of crackers tho', and I really enjoyed your story.

Sort of thing I used to imagine as a kid.  And still do.  I never did grow up.

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That’s really brightened up my (very early) morning :D!

 

Great photographs, the models have turned out wonderfully and model Dundee looks superb. Great story; worthy of any ‘Victor’ comic or ‘Commando’ book!

 

I remember trying to buy a pair of trousers, and shoes, on a visit to Dundee around 30 years ago. It all became very complicated and then very funny. I can’t remember the words for either, but I liked them a lot :lol:!

 

My apologies for missing the latter part of the WIP, I made a muddle if my notifications :fraidnot:.

 

I’m going to go back now and enjoy the rest of the WIP :thumbsup2: 

 

:goodjob: 

TonyT

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Grinning like a right loon here!  Good modelling and excellent presentation.  Think sat ze crew of ze Dornier deserve a whole bottle of Alt each for all ze cheesy lines! 😂

 

look forward to to the next build!

 

Ian

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17 hours ago, FatFlyHalf said:

You are absolutely crackers! 

A nice sort of crackers tho', and I really enjoyed your story.

Sort of thing I used to imagine as a kid.  And still do.  I never did grow up.

Many thanks - all the ideas for the story built up during the builds and it just came pouring out - photos could have been better but there was a time limit on 'the mission'. If we 'grew up', we would miss all this fun!

Regards,

Mike

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17 hours ago, CT Modeller said:

Thanks for keeping the original Airfix / 60s nostalgia flag flying!

No problem - it really is a great pleasure for me. Have you seen this?

 

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17 hours ago, TonyTiger66 said:

That’s really brightened up my (very early) morning :D!

 

Great photographs, the models have turned out wonderfully and model Dundee looks superb. Great story; worthy of any ‘Victor’ comic or ‘Commando’ book!

 

I remember trying to buy a pair of trousers, and shoes, on a visit to Dundee around 30 years ago. It all became very complicated and then very funny. I can’t remember the words for either, but I liked them a lot :lol:!

 

My apologies for missing the latter part of the WIP, I made a muddle if my notifications :fraidnot:.

 

I’m going to go back now and enjoy the rest of the WIP :thumbsup2: 

 

:goodjob: 

TonyT

Many thanks, sir. Most kind. Yes, very much influenced by the style of 'Victor' and the 'Commando' comics.

The 'filming' was all a bit rushed as there was limited time to complete 'the mission' before radar controlled flak was alerted. As I've said many times, the greatest fun was had and the depth of knowledge and support from the Britmodeller community very much appreciated.

Looking forward to the next mission!! (Airfix Golden Years?).

Regards,

Mike

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Zigeunerschnitzel mit Pommes und Mayo: lecker!

 

I see where The Rocky Horror Show got the inspiration for Riffraff's raygun: it's that thing sticking out of the Dornier's nose.  Whatever was it supposed to be?

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17 hours ago, HomerJ_757 said:

Grinning like a right loon here!  Good modelling and excellent presentation.  Think sat ze crew of ze Dornier deserve a whole bottle of Alt each for all ze cheesy lines! 😂

 

look forward to to the next build!

 

Ian

Ian, many thanks for that and much appreciated - the line of all time for me is from 'Das Boot' when the U-boat crew are stranded at the bottom of the Med (I think) 'on a shovelful of sand' and after a massive re-wiring effort by 'The Chief' and lots of pumping out, the Captain promises 'a half bottle of beer for each' if they survive. Very nervous/hysterical and ironic laughter from the crew! I need a beer after all that.

Looking forward to 'Airfix Golden Years' GB if it gets the vote.

Regards,

Mike

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16 hours ago, Corsairfoxfouruncle said:

👍👍👍 Three thumbs up for you ! I followed the WIP and The RFI definitely brought a smile to my face ! BTW I love the BoB movie too ! Great movie ! And  I really like the idea of recreating the whole photo from your childhood. 

Many thanks - it's not often that I get a chance for a bit of modelling related fun so I grabbed this opportunity with both hands - great inspiration from all in the Britmodeller community. It's amazing to think that the B of B film was made in 1969 - still great to watch and in colour. (Quote - 'spring chicken to shitehawk in one easy lesson!') If I also think too much about that other film '12-O'clock High' then I'll be reaching for 'A Bit of Old Lace' - however, Old Thumper is doing that proud at the moment.

All the best.

Mike

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