perdu Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 Have you seen what has crawled under the bed? That's one room I'm staying out of Any more scrumpy over there? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 More hot dogs going on the barbi as we speak and more scrumpy on its way. Simon. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandy Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 14 minutes ago, perdu said: Have you seen what has crawled under the bed? That's one room I'm staying out of Any more scrumpy over there? Don't tell me it was TonyT and one of the bellydancers..... Ian 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hendie Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 1 hour ago, limeypilot said: Well, that one went down like a lead balloon, thanks Hendie! s'probably a bit esoteric for the type of folks that hang out here in this thread. An elephant joke would probable have gone down better 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perdu Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 (edited) Yeah let's have some humour Real humour, effalump jokes should do it Are the burgers ready yet? Edited July 2, 2017 by perdu 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandy Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 I seem to remember one such involving an elephant and a Royal Marine, just can't remember the details.... Ian 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexN Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 You could put on King Crimson's 'Elephant Talk' as background music, LOUD! That would drown out the elephant jokes (I can't recall ever hearing a funny one, but that's probably just me...). Not that the Crimson were ever party music, as such. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perdu Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 Has anyone seen what the goat did with the carpet? Oh well, we can sort that out later... He hasn't been well lately, has he? 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexN Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Good Lord, what a mess. We had better get the cleaners in quick smart before Her Ladyship gets home! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perdu Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 A bit cheesed off really Alex, you're good company it's true but where did the others go? I heard that some of the ladies were about to jump ship because 'too many married chaps" but for the band to go as well, frankly I rate that pretty rank The Martian decides summer on ring five of Saturn is best, didn't even leave any cheese nibbles And the RN has pottered off as well Ah heck, I'm ravenous, Chuck another steak on the barbie mate 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-FAAWAFU Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 The RN never leaves a run ashore early; wash your mouth out, Bill 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandy Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 (edited) I'm still here, just been a little quiet while munching those excellent hotdogs. I'll have to take my leave for a while though due to recurrent training. I'll bring some more beers on my return! Ian Edited July 6, 2017 by limeypilot 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 I was walking past and heard a noise and came in to investigate. I think you need a few bin bags to clear up the mess. And who painted the bath heliotrope? Trevor 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CedB Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 Gnnnnrrgghhh... I'm still here... behind the sofa... what was in that punch? 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 It's a cocktail called a left hook. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perdu Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 6 hours ago, Ex-FAAWAFU said: The RN never leaves a run ashore early; wash your mouth out, Bill My cap badge reads "Who Drinks Wins" and when I turned around at the bar all I could see were the soles of the shoes of some horizontal bods What happened Crisp, had you popped out to 'ease springs' Oh, the bath? Wasn't me, I don't take my airbrush on a pub crawl. Best drinking flip-flops and a half tidy tee shirt Ian bring some binbags when you come back, Max wants to remove those goat hairs from the sofa 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-FAAWAFU Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 What RLM number was heliotrope, anyway? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perdu Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 Always the perfectionist... I'm making porridge in the kitchen, anyone want some? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max Headroom Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 Put mine on whole grain toast please. I'll make a brew of hot brown. Trevor 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spookytooth Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 I will fetch some more charcoal and fire the pit up again, get some bacon on the go. Any chance of a coffee? Simon. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keefr22 Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 7 hours ago, Ex-FAAWAFU said: What RLM number was heliotrope, anyway? I thought a heliotrope was some kind of navigational device.... Sorry I went AWOL Bill, went out for some air & got cornered by the chickens - bleedin' monsters they are, had to wait for to come rescue me...!! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomoshenko Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 Hey Tony just out of interest, as I've had a few people enquire, what is the exact type of carpet you have in the lounge and wallpaper in the hall way, plus the exact colour match for the paint. Nothing to worry about honest... just that quite a few of us have expressed interest and wondered where we could purchase copies for replacements for use in our homes cos they look so good after some prisoners on day release local community volunteers popped by and urm...nothing to worry about...oi Bill is that the neighbours at the door again...oh it's the police this time..oh..er..yeh Tony they're on a neighbourhood watch visit...got a go...nothing to worry about honest...tell Mrs Baron everything is okay... 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Lewis Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 A Heliotrope is a metaphorical balloon attached by string to a small child... and can someone please identify what I just trod in? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perdu Posted July 6, 2017 Share Posted July 6, 2017 Not blooming metaphors again... Duhhh 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyTiger66 Posted July 7, 2017 Share Posted July 7, 2017 Melisa has been showing me her Baclavas. Lovely they are, really tasty for a quick nibble. A bit later I'm going to tuck into her pilaf . Does anyone know where I might find some yoghurt? 💃. T 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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