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The Weirdest Instructions I've ever seen


Crossiant Oliver

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For X-mad I got 3 airfix kits: the spitfire mk IX, the new 1/48 P-40B, and the B-25H.  I was looking over each of the instruction booklets, the last I checked was the B-25.

 

looks fine, usual instructions, then I go to the next instructions

 

 

HOLY CRAP WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?! 

 

Look how many directions there are in this one section? On a starter kit none the less! It's not like they had no room, just look:

 

 

There could be room for the other directions...

 

 

What?! They used an entire page just to put the nose? They could use a tiny space for that! They could put some of the other instructions neatly on this page. Honestly, Airfix REALLY needs to change these instructions. Even I'm an intermediate modeler, and these instructions still give me a sense of confusion! Someone call Airfix and tell them about this!

 

 

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Upload the image to  a photo sharing website, something like http://imgur.com/ which is free, then link it in a reply.

Is it these instructions?

http://airfixtributeforum.myfastforum.org/Airfix_1_72_North_American_B_25_H_J_Mitchell_A04005__about31945.html

Edited by hovering
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Look straightforward enough to me, but then I grew up with that style of Airfix instructions 

Edited by GordonM
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Think yourself lucky....the old, very old and I mean ancient here (1950s or so) Airfix instructions came with a picture of the actual subject on the front and the build instructions as a block of very small text within the package - NO PICTURES. This was a deliberate policy in order to build our characters and teach us not to question authority too much. This was necessary since modelling was but a distraction from the workhouse environment and the ever present threat of a good kicking from one's betters.

It didn't affect me too much I have to say except for the regular short stopovers in the asylum....

 

 

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Airfix kits! You were lucky! My character-forming exercise was to carve the X-3, Cutlass, MiG 15 etc out of balsa, using half a broken Gillette razor blade. Scars I bear today ...

 

Instructions!! All we had was a plan and lung problems from breathing dope and talcum powder.  

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Airfix nstructions have changed over the years: the ones that you've picked out are no worse than many and better than quite a few.  

 

I, and many others, started out with an exploded diagram containing up to 40 components and numbered steps describing each element of the process, e.g. "1.  Locate and cement pilot (1) to seat (2) after first painting if required."  "2.  Locate and cement lug on back of seat into cut out in bulkhead (3) ensuring rib on bulkhead faces to the rear." and so forth.

 

Sadly the requirement for multi lingual instructions and the decline n the teaching and learning of proper English capable of being understood by anyone spelled the end of this deathless prose.

 

if you thnk Airfix's nstructions are bad you should (a) see some produced by some eastern European or former Soviet bloc manufacturers, or even the likes of Revell or Eduard (to name but two) and (b) write directly to Airfix and tell them how you could do a better job of designing their instructions.  The trend has been towards more stages in construction, each involving fewer components or assemblies in order to avoid swamping the builder with information.

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19 minutes ago, Chris Thomas said:

Airfix kits! You were lucky! My character-forming exercise was to carve the X-3, Cutlass, MiG 15 etc out of balsa, using half a broken Gillette razor blade. Scars I bear today ...

 

Instructions!! All we had was a plan and lung problems from breathing dope and talcum powder.  

Ooh, we used to dream of having balsa wood,

We used to have to go into t'woods and cut a tree down and whittle it down with a blunt soup spoon

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16 minutes ago, stever219 said:

 

 

Sadly the decline in the teaching and learning of proper English capable of being understood by anyone spelled the end of this deathless prose.

 

 

 

Well put, can't argue with that.

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53 minutes ago, Black Knight said:

Ooh, we used to dream of having balsa wood,

We used to have to go into t'woods and cut a tree down and whittle it down with a blunt soup spoon

 

Blunt soup spoon?  You were lucky.  All I had was a herring....Ni !  Ni !!!

 

:coat:

Edited by mhaselden
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1 hour ago, Chris Thomas said:

 

 

Instructions!! All we had was a plan and lung problems from breathing dope and talcum powder.  

 

Chris

I would suggest you clarify the type of dope you inhaled causing breathing problems.  You know, just in case anyone gets the wrong idea......

I mean the 70's were pretty liberal.

 

I know it was that smelly stuff for model airplanes.....it was, wasn't it !!!

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Airfix!  At least those tiny little things bore some resemblance to the airplane they were supposed to represent.  We Yanks had Aurora.  I remember when I was a kid in the 1950s I bought the red blob by Aurora that was supposed to be a 1/48 Messerschmitt 109 and after assembling the ten or so parts that made up the kit I took out my copy of William Green's pioneering work Famous Fighters of the Second World War to compare it to the profiles to see which version it was.  Oh my god, what a nasty surprise that was.  At least it was only 69 cents or something like that, so it wasn't a fortune wasted.  After that I developed my skills at carving the desired aircraft out of balsa.  I wasn't a deprived as you folks that had to do it with a spoon or a flint axe.  I was allowed to have X-acto knives, files and rasps, and since my father was a house painter lots of sandpaper and razor blades.

 

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44 minutes ago, Nick Millman said:

Gosh, I wish we'd had blunt soup spoons back then. What a luxury. It was always so difficult trying to trim the parts with a flint hand axe.

 

Nick

Well, when I say 'soup spoon' it was really just a bit of beech bark with a twig, but it was a soup spoon to us.

Not that we ever got to eat soup; only dope and talc for us, oh, and spam

dope, spam, spam spam, talc and spam

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That's pretty grim but for my money the Accurate Minatures Avenger takes some beating. They somehow managed to not include the step where you join the fuselage halves together.

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First of all, thanks for the pictures. If you want to look at them, look at the first reply. 

 

 

But Airfix at least has to redo a 40+ year old kit and instruction sets. What beginner modeler wants to continue the hobby when they see instructions like this! I've built older kits, and some of them in my opinion had better instructions (the monogram wildcat, etc.

 

 

also is the Revell 1/48 dauntless a good beginner kit? I gave a friend who wants to start the hobby it for x-mas

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I really don't understand your problem. Is it the graphics style, comprehension or something else?

 

No two manufacturers use the same style, but Airfix is among the better ones in terms of not missing out vital steps. All the instructions are for is to identify the numbered parts, suggest paint, and show how parts are built into sub-assemblies prior to final integration into the whole model.

 

There are different approaches possible, but even with a complex kit, the same principles apply.

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5 hours ago, Nick Millman said:

Gosh, I wish we'd had blunt soup spoons back then. What a luxury. It was always so difficult trying to trim the parts with a flint hand axe.

 

Nick

 

The bellows-operated airbrush was a bit hit-and-miss, too.

 

Ok...I'll stop now.

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7 hours ago, Black Knight said:

Well, when I say 'soup spoon' it was really just a bit of beech bark with a twig, but it was a soup spoon to us.

Not that we ever got to eat soup; only dope and talc for us, oh, and spam

dope, spam, spam spam, talc and spam

Monty Python!  Got to love it!

Later,

Dave

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