Jessica Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 There almost was an Alboat. Best of both worlds And they also thought about removable floats. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cameraman Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Hi Guys n Gals, you just have to love even the idea of a HOW (Hercules On Water)! Brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyverns4 Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 (edited) Boats, ships, floaty things, etc. are all equally targets, be they surfaced or submerged. Right enough of this ness, (although nice re-entrant with the Herky-boat-plane abomination ) I have spent the last two days in recovery post Botulism, reading this thread and what a wonderful panacea it is! I also have the pleasure of over 1,000+ hours on Albert, but in the back, (where all the real work is done... ) with more than the occasional departure from said perfectly serviceable airframes at altitudes, various, sea-level, above. Many also spent in different nationalities Albert's, which was a bit of an eye-opener. Many fun memories. Canadian Catering, (are they still going?), ration boxes - a shoe box sized parcel containing half a chicken, assorted rolls, butter, cheese, multiple pieces of fruit, water, soda, cakes, etc........ and you received TWO of those boxes per meal . So it was always a delight to 'transit' through Goose Bay. Another involved the porta-potty port-side of the ramp. We flew out for LGB trials attached to Goose Bay 87, (or 88, not sure which ), which is, (was?), a large NATO low flying live-Ex held during the Summer in Labrador. We enplaned at Lyneham, along with a load of ground crew and attached hangers-on. As soon as possible after take-off I dosed down on a pallet of baggage, plugged in the Walkman and assumed the usual posture for a loooooooong Albert flight, i.e. asleep. Someway over the Atlantic, between Greenland and Canada, things got a little bumpy and I woke up just as the loadie, (true hero of all Albert OPs), was getting all his honored guests back into their 'seats'. If you have ever sat in the mesh/webbing seats in the back of Albert, you know what I mean; if you have not, then you do not know what you are missing . During all this 'pampering' the flight became increasingly turbulent to the point where we were getting concerned that the LD's might become damaged, after all lasers can be quite fragile. Our heroic loadie realised that there was an empty seat, just as we hit a particularly impressive bump, all loose items and stomachs went up, followed by a momentary sense of weightlessness and then the tail seemed to whip us all forward, (stomachs and loose items). It was at this juncture that we realised where the missing passenger was. A young Flying Officer, with his pants and grundies around his ankles shot out from behind the elsan curtain and sailed down the cargo compartment, before hitting a pallet that stopped his brief and unauthorized internal flight in Albert. It gets worse. He enjoyed a curry in Wooton Basset the night before and as such had a touch of the 'Deli Belly' and was in mid flow when he decided to attempt maned flight. the rest I will leave to your imaginations... There are more tails, if Debs allows... Christian, ex God's finest, (RAF Regiment) and exiled to africa for my sins, which probably include being a Rock Ape. (Greg B. will agree)... Edited January 28, 2016 by wyverns4 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Britman Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Sorry Debs but have to know! RR, did that E2 get off the deck ok? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roof Rat Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 STOPPIT! Stop it NOW! This is MY thread! It's about Alberts. Keep yer bloody boats to yer OWN threads FFS! Your right Debs and its probably one of the best threads I've seen on here.....just remember..... RR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-FAAWAFU Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 (edited) Inadequate assessment of time differences because of excessive consumption cost me more than one girlfriend. The most notable relationship terminator was in Singapore during Ark's Far East / Oz trip in 1988. Got a bit socially confused, thought I'd ring her, did so, "I love you no sh*t" and other such aviator-ly smooth talk. "Do you know what time it is?" 3 a.m. in UK. Oops So far, so same as everyone else. Only we didn't sail, and I wasn't on duty, so went ashore again the following night. Having attained flying speed and speaking fluent b*llocks, something was nagging the back of my befuddled brain. Ah yes, of course; I am in the dog house after ringing home in the middle of the night and perceptibly pished. Better apologise. So I rang again, almost exactly 24 hours later. I think I got about as far as "It's me..." before the phone was slammed down. By the time we got to Brisbane it was all over. On some long ASW sortie a few days later my crew developed the genius idea of a breathalyser attachment compulsorily fitted to all phones whose owner is abroad. Over 1 drink and the phone will not work. We should have patented it; years later I read an article suggesting exactly the same thing for mobile phones. I have nothing to add on the ship / boat discussion. Except that boats is submarines, and therefore just wrong. Edited January 28, 2016 by Ex-FAAWAFU 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob G Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Hi Guys n Gals, you just have to love even the idea of a HOW (Hercules On Water)! Brilliant. That's not so much a HOW, as it is a WHY and a WTF were they thinking? A Herk isn't a Twotter...Edit: So who's going to be the one to build the seaplane Herc as a WHIF? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aeronut Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Debs. My near death experience on a Herc was caused by the BOAT we were airdropping. The RAF had for a number of years been dropping 6.5 metre RIB but the SBS wanted to drop the larger 8.5 metre RIB and so a new system was built using the American G12 parachute as the extractor as well as the descent canopy (the MOD had its sights set on selling the system to other countries and designed it around parachutes they would have). The G14 parachute is some 60 foot in diameter and to use it as an extractor it had to be reefed down to a more sensible 12 foot diameter. The drop was proceeding nicely up to the point when the extractor inflated, the reefing cord parted company with the parachute periphery and the parachute filled to full diameter. The RIB exited so fast that the roller floor was smoking from the heat we worked out later that it did 0-60 in under a second. Every other airdrop load I'd seen prior to this one left the ramp and dropped out of sight, this one left the ramp and disappeared UP beyond the cargo door. I thought it had taken the duck's bill off but thankfully it hadn't. Not happy with this extractor parachute I insisted it was replaced with a proper extractor parachute but under pressure (and insistence from Irvins that it wouldn't happen again) we carried out a second drop. Guess what? it happened again only this time the boat's 3 parachutes that were mounted on the (aircraft's) forward end on the load stayed where they were in space as the boat did its disappearing trick at speed. The best way we could find for describing this was to use the term 'Magician's tablecloth trick'. The 3 parachutes were still connected to the boat and as they dropped to the cargo floor the lines were deployed by the departing load and the canopy came out of the bags. I was left arguing with the loadie over how many of these parachutes had landed on the floor, I said all three, he said just one. Review of the film proved me correct and the sight of hanks of parachute rigging rolling along the rollers still gives me the shivers. That was the last time a G12 was used as an extractor. 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wyverns4 Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 That's not so much a HOW, as it is a WHY and a WTF were they thinking? A Herk isn't a Twotter... Edit: So who's going to be the one to build the seaplane Herc as a WHIF? Strangely tempting....... even had a post recovery snooze this PM and woke dreaming about this abomination Must be the meds... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perdu Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 (edited) Sorry Debs but have to know! RR, did that E2 get off the deck ok? A good question As might be 'what E2?', I saw it once and haven't seen it since Has my 'pooter gotten bebeggared again? Edited January 28, 2016 by perdu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonl Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 'Magician's tablecloth trick'. Crying laughing at my desk.... brilliant!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roof Rat Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Sorry Debs Sorry Debs but have to know! RR, did that E2 get off the deck ok? Hi Britman as far as I know all was ok all be it a little wet, I suspect the flight crew were saying a prayer or two A good question As might be 'what E2?', I saw it once and haven't seen it since Has my 'pooter gotten bebeggared again? Hi perdu no your computer is all ok unlike Photobucket for some reason it didn't like the pic of the E2 so I replaced it with one of my own, sorry RR (that's my last boat / ship thing I promise Debs) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ascoteer Posted January 28, 2016 Author Share Posted January 28, 2016 There almost was an Alboat. Best of both worlds That's so mad it's brilliant! I might just have to build one... There are more tails, if Debs allows... Christian, ex God's finest, (RAF Regiment) and exiled to africa for my sins, which probably include being a Rock Ape. (Greg B. will agree)... If you have more 'Albert Tales' please feel free to add them here. My near death experience on a Herc was caused by the BOAT we were airdropping. Eek! Double MSP was bad enough! Remind me why I didn't volunteer for JATE... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xffw45343tg Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 That's so mad it's brilliant! I might just have to build one... <Mrs Doyle> Go on. </Mrs Doyle> Remind me why I didn't volunteer for JATE... Reminder. Urban legend apparently but sadly too believable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moaning dolphin Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 It's about Alberts. Alberts? Uncle Albert? wasn't he a salty seadog matelot, there you go dragging the Navy into this again 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F4u Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 (edited) Talking of zapping ! Was at Roanne for the airshow with the cat one year and on the Saturday evening there was a bit of a do in the hangar for everyone involved with the show so after dinner the drink started to flow and the Reds thought it would be fun to challenge the Patrouille de France to who could zap the inside of the hangar roof first without the aid of ladders , cherry pickers ect, so they stacked tables chairs and formed a human pyramid and just beat the PDF to zapping the roof. I had to get to our aircraft early next morning to pre-flight ect and walking down the flight line past the Reds with there covers still on and FOD covers still in place every single aircraft had about I would say 50-80 stickers of every different French airforce squadron, Navy , Army, and anything French !!( well and truly zapped!! ) I didn't see the look on the Blues ( Reds ground crew ) faces when they turned up to start preflighting the jets as I had taken off for an early dsiplay slot then depart back to DX. So they would of been pre-flighting as we were displaying ( shame ) Guy Edited January 28, 2016 by F4u 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayB24 Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Hi Guys n Gals, you just have to love even the idea of a HOW (Hercules On Water)! Brilliant. No it would be a Sea Herc or "Sherc"!... They actually look neat as flyings boats. Ray 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woody37 Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Now then everyone, please stop distracting Debs, I keep coming in to see progress only to be met by funny stories 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miggers Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 There almost was an Alboat. Best of both worlds And they also thought about removable floats. Love the Albertalina PBY,but that job with big wet boots???? Surprising there's not another prop sticking out the back and a gang pedalling furiously inside.......... Whoever's that Fs model is,I bet they didn't modify the weight/balance/drag factors in the air/config.files so that it'd "fly" and handle like it had great big draggy floats glued underneath........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jessica Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 All they'd need to do is reduce the performance by 30% across the board, because that's what they were expected to do in Real Life, which is why they didn't go farther than the idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miggers Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 (edited) Debs. My near death experience on a Herc was caused by the BOAT we were airdropping. The RAF had for a number of years been dropping 6.5 metre RIB but the SBS wanted to drop the larger 8.5 metre RIB and so a new system was built using the American G12 parachute as the extractor as well as the descent canopy (the MOD had its sights set on selling the system to other countries and designed it around parachutes they would have). The G14 parachute is some 60 foot in diameter and to use it as an extractor it had to be reefed down to a more sensible 12 foot diameter. The drop was proceeding nicely up to the point when the extractor inflated, the reefing cord parted company with the parachute periphery and the parachute filled to full diameter. The RIB exited so fast that the roller floor was smoking from the heat we worked out later that it did 0-60 in under a second. Every other airdrop load I'd seen prior to this one left the ramp and dropped out of sight, this one left the ramp and disappeared UP beyond the cargo door. I thought it had taken the duck's bill off but thankfully it hadn't. Not happy with this extractor parachute I insisted it was replaced with a proper extractor parachute but under pressure (and insistence from Irvins that it wouldn't happen again) we carried out a second drop. Guess what? it happened again only this time the boat's 3 parachutes that were mounted on the (aircraft's) forward end on the load stayed where they were in space as the boat did its disappearing trick at speed. The best way we could find for describing this was to use the term 'Magician's tablecloth trick'. The 3 parachutes were still connected to the boat and as they dropped to the cargo floor the lines were deployed by the departing load and the canopy came out of the bags. I was left arguing with the loadie over how many of these parachutes had landed on the floor, I said all three, he said just one. Review of the film proved me correct and the sight of hanks of parachute rigging rolling along the rollers still gives me the shivers. That was the last time a G12 was used as an extractor. Bet it didn't do the nautics' RIB a lot of good either....... :winkgrin: Edited January 28, 2016 by Miggers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete in Lincs Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Bloke in Saudi was under the influence (Yes, it does happen) many moons ago. Decided to call home to Oz. Fell asleep. At the end of the month he had to sell his car to pay the bill! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aeronut Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Bet it didn't do the nautics' RIB a lot of good either....... :winkgrin: We never broke a RIB, capsized one when a parachute didn't disconnect but never broke one. Before we took them into the air we dropped them into Portland harbour from a crane incrementally up to 25 ft. The slow motion film is beautiful, you can see the whole boat flex. It horrified the resident naval types who thought we were useless at rigging a crane lift. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ascoteer Posted January 28, 2016 Author Share Posted January 28, 2016 Little bits 'n' bobs.I made up the Captain's and Co's side panels. On the real aircraft these carried the No 1 V/UHF (Captain) and the No 2 V/UHF and AI comparator (Co-Pilot). The green 'thread' hanging down are the Oxygen supply lines. I also started building the control columns. The Italeri parts aren't bad but the Flightpath etch is just better (and the Airfix are just completely wrong - Airfix seem to think the 'yokes' protrude from the instrument panel ). Flightpath, however, make a poor representation of the elevator trim switches. Eduard do them as tiny pieces of etch to be folded up(!) but they are completely the wrong shape and the wrong colour to boot. Accordingly I made them out of slivers of plastikard. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fritag Posted January 29, 2016 Share Posted January 29, 2016 Great casting and great stories.... I look forward to lunches at my desk reading this thread. Thanks all! Agree with that. Just had a very enjoyable catch-up read. Flight deck looking mighty fine. Have to say that it looks like it was a pretty 'orrible green colour to have to spend hour after hour sat surrounded by P'raps the traditional black 'ole weren't so bad after all. I notice our resident barristering ex-Jag poler hasn't resurfaced from his skiing jaunt yet. Those legal fees have to spent somehow, you know. Resurfaced. Somewhat bruised. Ambition way outstripping talent as usual......... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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