Kallisti Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Sirs and honoured guests I submit to you a new specimen of meteoric unobtanium, recently delivered into my hands from the darkest reaches of Africa by that well known explorer and sharp-shooter, Allan Quatermain Esq. He told me quite confidentially that this sample was found in the headdress of a tribal chieftain's wife in the highlands of Abyssinia, and the adventure he related concerning his exploits on returning to England would make a fine novel, Mr Wells if you are interested, although I did come a cross a certain Mr Hagrid or somesuch listening in as well! Suffice to say that the tale of the Giant Rat of Sumatra has nothing on this astonishing escapade. Now if you would please excuse me, I have certain experiments in progress concerning the trajectory of high speed billiard balls. I believe I have discovered an unusual reactodynamic property of coloured balls that pertains to the sinusoidal depleneration of their unstable cellulose composition and now need to find a glazier to replace the windows in my study... Yrs, with singed eyebrows Dr Marmaduke Kallisti, 4th Earl of Eris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deon Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Dearest Marmaduke, First, let me thank you for granting me access to your Loch Ness workshop. Initial tests with the billiard particle collision container were rather exciting if not quite as planned. If I had not been wearing the unobtainium cloth pantaloons you 'acquired' from the Raj of Pullovah, I would have been quite incapacitated. Secondly, Abyssinia is a most curious place to find meteoric unobtanium, for which Mssr Quatermain should be most highly congratulated. If we could locate the approximate location I believe (based on my late father's research) we will find a dispersed spread of meteoric material spreading from Ghana to Northern China. Fortunately the Ghanian Ashanti have no idea how precious these deposits are and seem to be giving up without much of a fight. I am slightly worried about the Italian movements in North Africa as a military expedition to secure the deposits there might result in a bit of a hoohaa. Third and lastly, I can't believe how you manage to survive your continued experiments. I remember with mirth the sight of you running across your study in only your night gown and the Basuto war mask I had given you, being pursued most hotly by a swarm of energised billiard balls. Please take care old chap, you are getting through rather too many house staff and I wonder that you will ever be able to hang onto your old Nepalese nun who cooks so wonderfully. Your obedient friend, Ataxerxes Woolley-Cardigan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iain Ogilvie Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) Gentlemen, Progress has been made apace at His Majesty's No 1 Airbattleship Yard, located just outside Little Snoring in deepest rural Norfolk. The cabinet makers entrusted with re-profiling the main casing have been hard at work with the result that the hull will be ready for some deck fittings and superstructure at the weekend. In addition we have now taken delivery of her main armament which has been assembled into the two turrets ready for the paint shop. Our illustrious gun manufacturers of choice, James Purdey and Sons, have issued the following specifications, subject, obviously, to our tight security regime covered earlier: Gun Type: Mk I Number of Guns: 4 total (2 per turret x 2 turrets) Calibre: 15" Barrel Length: 42 cal (630") Gun Length (Overall): 650.4" Barrel Rifling: 76 grooves, right handed twist Charge Type: Cordite MD45 Full Charge Weight: 428 lbs Reduced Charge Weight: 321 lbs Shell Weight/Mass: 1920 lbs Chamber Gas Pressure: 19.5 tons psi Muzzle Velocity: 2462 fs Rate of Fire: 2 rounds every 60 seconds (4 rounds per minute per turret) Max. Range (New Barrel): 30,180 yds (at -30° elev.) Elevation Angle- Max. / Min.: -30° / 05° My hope and desire was to post a number of images for your delectation this fine snowy evening, however my digital daguerreotype ran out of memory: it quite literally forgot to take any. The device is now on a charge, so this malaise is unlikely to repeat itself at the weekend when further imagery will be forthcoming. Gentlemen, I am, Sirs, your humble servant, Iain Edited February 9, 2012 by Iain (32SIG) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iain Ogilvie Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 (edited) INTERMISSION For your interest and delectation I bring you 'One of our Submarines is Missing' by Thomas Dolby in 'Steampunk' mode (which may explain my avatar!). Apt - as I'm now missing a submarine but have discovered an Airbattleship! Bye, bye Empire... Iain Edited February 9, 2012 by Iain (32SIG) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iain Ogilvie Posted February 10, 2012 Author Share Posted February 10, 2012 INTERMISSION No. 2 I give you a steampunk airship 'documentary' Iain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kallisti Posted February 10, 2012 Share Posted February 10, 2012 I say bad show! I always find that giving the photographer a sound thrashing helps no end! Woolley-Cardigan dear chap, indeed it would be a sad tragedy to loose dear old Nanny T'ekitump, but I fashioned a protective device that should shield her from errant high-speed billiardotic projectiles until I can fathom the spleneorific amplitudes of the mullion flanges. Ha, that will show those Royal Academy scoffers and narcoleptics! I have sent Mr Quatermain a telegram, encoded of course as we don't want to give those rum continental coves any untoward intelligence what? Hopefully he will see fit to raise himself out of the gin house and furnish the necessary specifics regarding the meteoritic debris. Hmm, I just found a note slipped between the pages of this quaint volume I purchased from that perfectly decent Mr Alhazred (for one of his sort anyway). Strange all it has written on it is "Hastur hastur Hastur" Very odd... hmm whats that noise outside the window.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iain Ogilvie Posted February 12, 2012 Author Share Posted February 12, 2012 (edited) Sirs, I am commanded by His Britannic Majesty, King Edward VII, to reveal progress on the hull of the leviathan Airbattleship HMS Fearnought. Progress has been a little slow of late but the staff have been flogged within an inch of their lives to bring you the latest updates from the digital daguerreotype. And a quick reminder: Maximum Security rules apply: Off to do some 'serious' work now - but given fair winds she'll be in the paint shop next weekend. Oh, and dear reader, if you've been watching the Steampunk Group Build and not yet started your own contraption - go on, have a go - 'tis great fun! Iain Edited February 12, 2012 by Iain (32SIG) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Kunac-Tabinor Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 By Jupiter Sir, she's a magnicient sight to behold. I see your model shows Fearnought with her refitted Mowbury 2 hand screw. A nice touch as all the old electro-daguerro's usually show the later Morton-Hacket 4 blader. Will you paint her in the Isle of Mann scheme or in her Caunter & Sons desert raiding pattern?? Humbly etc Jonners Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iain Ogilvie Posted February 12, 2012 Author Share Posted February 12, 2012 (edited) Ah, yes, well spotted on the Mowbury II screw. Never was thoroughly developed and, as you observe, replaced before sale to China with the Morton-Hacket four-blader. Still contemplating her final livery; as I'm sure you are aware there were a number of schemes that correspond with the use of the two-blader, but I am leaning towards the initial North Sea Patrol scheme of predominantly silver unobtanium 'envelope', Admiralty Grey deck sections, black steam funnels and brass fittings. We shall see, but it does depend upon what period images I can find as I really want this to be as accurate as possible! Iain Edited February 12, 2012 by Iain (32SIG) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Kunac-Tabinor Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 We shall see, but it does depend upon what period images I can find as I really want this to be as accurate as possible!Iain Well said Sir, its the attention to accuracy that counts. I swear, for instance, that if I see another armoured Land-walker painted in that weird "Olive-drab" colour I shall explode. While I'm no "Factuality Fascist" by any means I do wish someone would tell modellers that the Olive drab scheme was only seen on the commemorative short-bread tins issued for the Jubilee, and that was down to a lithographic colour plate inking error at the factory. Will no one ever learn?? Humbly etc Jonners Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrvr6 Posted February 12, 2012 Share Posted February 12, 2012 Have you tried organic unobtainium substitute?A byproduct of bovines, hard to collect and flammable? Adam cowpatium? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iain Ogilvie Posted February 12, 2012 Author Share Posted February 12, 2012 (edited) cowpatium? Indeed, and certainly not a noble gas!! Iain Edited February 12, 2012 by Iain (32SIG) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iain Ogilvie Posted February 12, 2012 Author Share Posted February 12, 2012 Gentlemen, Does anyone have a method of making old superglue (thin stuff that's gone almost to jelly) to go 'off'? Used it to fill the holes left by the removal of those inaccurate 'submarine' fins and it's refusing to go orf in a couple of places - despite the use of zip kicker! Iain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Belbin Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 (edited) Edited February 26, 2012 by Nick Belbin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deon Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 try dusting with talc, adding a coat of thin 'new' superglue and sanding back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iain Ogilvie Posted March 3, 2012 Author Share Posted March 3, 2012 Hi Deon - have cut back into the area and applied a fresh layer - a lot more stable now! In further news her tail feathers are complete and ready for fitment and I have received some very generous donations to the 'restoration' - I will endeavor to fire up the Digital daguerreotype at some point over the weekend. Iain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Vale Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 What a great idea, and lovely lines too. I'd like to join in but I want to finish something before starting something new... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enzo the Magnificent Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 This is excellent! Have you read the science fiction novel Terminal World by Alastair Reynolds? Linky I'm starting to think that this is how the Painted Lady looks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iain Ogilvie Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 (edited) Thanks for the link Enzo - may have to get a copy! In further news the following contributors to the restoration are to be awarded the Noble Order of the G and T for services to The Imperial Museum of Airbattleships: Sir Shar2 NOG&T - for Services to Armaments and Miscellaneous Artifacts Sir Pyro-Maniac NOG&T - for Services to Ships Superstructure Sir Bootneck NOG&T - for Services to Ships Anchors We thank you all: without your selfless donations HMAS Fearnought would be but a twisted dream! So, without further ceremony I give you: Further Progress! Felicitations, Iain Edited March 10, 2012 by Iain (32SIG) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deon Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 She's coming along nicely, looks every inch the queen of the skies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pyro-manic Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Glad to be of assistance, sir. She's looking grand! And Terminal World is an excellent book - highly, highly recommended (as indeed is the rest of Reynolds' work). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shar2 Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 Glad to see some of the reclaimed parts from the ex-Kaiserschiffer have come in usefull for the rebuild in this great project. Honoured to have been of assistance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahunaminor Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 (edited) Gentlemen, I have wandered in here as my Fw190STGB is a little quiet. I have not laughed as loud or as often as reading these pages. You are, each and every one, delightfully deranged. The witty repartee has been fabulous. Fear not for the security of your endevours as I am sometimes go by my pseudonym - Bernard!! I also fall into the category of "their families' servants' tennis partners". carry on Hussah!! Edited March 22, 2012 by Kahunaminor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iain Ogilvie Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 (edited) Episode 6 - Expert probing... Lt Ogilvie: Unfortunately sir, and to my lasting regret, Bernard is not the spy. Admiral DeMontfort-Smythe: Oh? And then who the hell is? Nurse Fletcher-Brown: Well, sir, there is a chap on the forum with a pronounced limp and a very strong German accent. It must be him. It's obvious. Lt Ogilvie: Obvious, but wrong. It's not him. Admiral DeMontfort-Smythe: And why not? Lt Ogilvie: Because, sir, not even the Germans would be stupid enough to field a spy on a public Modelling forum with a strong German accent. Nurse Fletcher-Brown: Well then, who is it? Lt Ogilvie: Well, it's perfectly simple. It's you. Nurse Fletcher-Brown: (gasps; stands) Iain! Lt Ogilvie: (calls as he stands) Deon! (Deon enters, pointing a rifle at Nurse Fletcher-Brown) Admiral DeMontfort-Smythe: (stands) Explain yourself, Ogilvie, before I have you shot for being rude to a lady! Lt Ogilvie: Well, sir, the first seeds of suspicion were sown when Sub Lieutenant Jonners unwittingly revealed that she spoke German. Do you deny, Nurse Fletcher-Brown -- or should I say Nurse Fleischer-Baum? -- that you helped Sub Lieutenant Jonners with German words in his posts? Nurse Fletcher-Brown: No, I did, but-- Lt Ogilvie: My suspicions were confirmed when she probed me expertly via PM about airbattleship movements. Nurse Fletcher-Brown: Oh, Iain, how could you? After all we've been through. Lt Ogilvie: And then the final, irrefutable proof. Remember, you mentioned a clever boyfriend... Nurse Fletcher-Brown: Yes. Lt Ogilvie: I then leapt on the opportunity to test you. I asked if he'd been to one of the great universities: Oxford, Cambridge, or Hull... Nurse Fletcher-Brown: Well? Lt Ogilvie: You failed to spot that only two of those are great universities. Nurse Fletcher-Brown: You swine! Admiral DeMontfort-Smythe: That's right -- Cambridge is a complete dump! Lt Ogilvie: Well, quite. No true Englishwoman could have fallen into that trap. Nurse Fletcher-Brown: Oh, Iain, I thought there was something beautiful between us. I thought you ... loved me. Lt Ogilvie: Nah... Take her away, Deon. Deon: (?? [mispronouncing something in German, perhaps]) (Deon takes Nurse Fletcher-Brown out) Admiral DeMontfort-Smythe: Well, good work, Ogilvie. Now I've got to assemble a firing squad. (while Iain warms himself by the fire, goes to his desk, sits and picks up the telephone) (Kahunaminor, in uniform, hobbles in. Darling runs up from behind) Darling: Watch out, sir! (jumps on Kahunaminor, taking his revolver) Admiral DeMontfort-Smythe: Darling, what on Earth do you think you're doing? Darling: I'll tell you exactly what I am doing, sir. I'm doing what Ogilvie should have done three weeks ago, sir. Admiral DeMontfort-Smythe: What? Darling: This is the guilty man! Admiral DeMontfort-Smythe: Darling, you're hysterical. Darling: No, sir! No, I'm not, sir! I'll ask him outright: Are you a spy? Kahunaminor: Yes, I am a spy! Darling: You see, sir?? Admiral DeMontfort-Smythe: Well, of course he's a spy, Darling -- a British spy! This is Commodore Sir Bernard Kahunaminor (Kahunaminor stands up straight, showing that he in fact doesn't limp at all), the finest spy in the Royal Navy! Well, that's alright then Edited March 22, 2012 by Iain (32SIG) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahunaminor Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Bravo Sir, Bravo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts