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zZUMmmm, zZUMmmm zZUMmmm zZUMmmm zZUMmmm (uneven hum of unsynchronised engines approaching) – hear that? It must be a one of theirs! “…Messerschmitt!...’Einkel!…. Messerschmitt!...No, it aint, it’s an ’Einkel!….”argue two small boys, knee deep in the river below (remember the scene from the film B of B?) Dornier Pilot “Teufel - ve are lost! That looks like the wrong river down there. Where is the iconic Forth Rail Bridge (mit der painters) that we were told about? I can only see a bridge which looks like it has taken two attempts to build.” Dornier Co-pilot “Kapitan, the compass is kaput, not that I can see much of it from this new seat position! Or through these big goggles!” Controller “Bandit, Angels Zero, over the River Tay. Johnny, you are nearest – can you please intercept?” JE-J “What?? I’m at 25,000 feet over the Channel! Where did you learn your Geography?” Controller “Sorry Johnny. The only other aircraft available is a ‘Lizzie’ and he has been out all night on a spy mission. You’re all we’ve got. From your height, you should be able to see him from there?” JE-J “OK Control, but it will leave me short on fuel and I don’t know how much ammo I’ve got left…….I see him….going down now………..(VVvvvvrrrrrrooooooowwwmm …..sound of loud Merlin) ……attacking from port…..BRP…..!?!?” Dornier Observer “Achtung, Spitfeur!!” Dornier Pilot “Hans, your aircraft recognition is excellent but now the guns man!!” Dornier Top Gunner “Kapitan, I can’t move – I’m stuck to the seat and can’t reach the turret or the guns!!” Dornier lower gunner “Kapitan, I can reach my gun but you are flying too low – the Englander is above us!!” Dornier Pilot “Donner und Blitzen! No compass and no guns! Men, if we make it, it is half a bottle of beer for each!” (my favourite line from ‘Das Boot’). Wry smiles from the German Crew, each thinking of a gallon of Alt Bier or even some of the local Tennants ‘Export’. JE-J “Blast! Out of ammo. I might have got one shot away though! He’s not dropping bombs and he’s not firing back – let’s take a closer look!” Dornier Co-pilot “Verdammit, we are hit! A small .303 bullet has bounced off our under-deck armour plate and hit the compass – but it is working again!” Dornier Top Gunner “Mein Gott, the Spitfire is flying alongside – look at that shape! Now he is looping over the top and back again!” JE-J I thought that victory roll would impress them. Super splinter camouflage job, though. Love the greens and those swastikas on the tail really make that Dornier look the business! Dornier pilot This reconnaissance mission is a washout! I’m waggling my wings to let the Englander know that we are packing up out of it! Look at that speed……I wish we had Spitfires in our squadron! That’s funny, he has a green maple leaf under the cockpit – the ones I’ve seen before are red – I wonder why? Drop long range fuel tanks and set course for home! Dornier Co-pilot Jawohl Kapitan! Tanks away! Heading East! Two small boys, still knee deep in the river below “Fuel tanks… mini-subs!…fuel tanks… mini-subs!” Dornier Top Gunner Next stop Norway! Wait until I get my hands on our ground crew – the modifications to the flight deck are great but the paint still wasn’t dry when we climbed in. It must have been done by Helpie Helperson, the world’s most helpful Norwegian (On the intercom…”Hello!”) – Not now, Helpie! (That Plusnet radio ad always has me in stiches!) Dornier Co-pilot Kapitan, I need steak and Guinness but since there is a war on, I’ll settle for Zigeuner Schnitzel mit Pommes und Mayo! Dornier crew (in unison) …and a half bottle of Alt Bier!! Controller Bandit moving away. Divert to the nearest landing field in Dundee, Johnny. JE-J Roger, Control. Breaking off…..out of fuel…I see a patch of grass in front of a house down there and there is a boy giving me the thumbs up from a window. Home for tea….what’s on the menu in the frozen North? Controller It may be Wallaces’ ‘Peh’s’ or even Forfar Bridies! JE-J Good egg! I believe I’ll ha’e an ingan ane an’ aw! (Only a Dundonian will understand this!) Controller Eh? You are breaking up, Johnny! Boy at window in 1969 Wooowww!! What are they dad? Dad Let’s check these aircraft recognition cards, son… Boy Whoa…. Supermarine Spitfire Mk.IX – that’s got a 1600hp Merlin engine, two 20mm cannons and can do 410mph! It’s squadron letters are ‘JE-J’ so it must be Johnny Johnson (all useful info from the Airfix Header Card!) - but that twin-engined aircraft doesn’t match this card for a Heinkel He111! What is it? Dad It’s a Dornier Do217, known as the ‘Flying Pencil’. I learned that when I was your age! zZUMmmm, zZUMmmm zZUMmmm zZUMmmm zZUMmmm zZUMmmm…... The undercarriage did come down again after all but it looks like the aerial wire took a hit! The whole point of the build was to 're-construct' the photo from 1969 (see the middle of this sequence). Original photo is in the build thread here: The build was great fun, re-creating the picture was a stretch and I got carried away in making up the story but I was really keen to incorporate all the input from Britmodellers from the build thread! Many thanks to all!