Val

Halfpenny = machine!

Happy NYE everyone! I'm less than 24 hours away from the beginning of another failed diet attempt..... Yay.

Hashtag bellend

hasn't Joey Barton worked out just to keep his trap shut!

Have I got something wrong, or is Sabine Lisicki playing Mario Balotelli in the Wimbledon final?!

Hi Andy, if you fancy winning in 3 straight sets, quite quickly and really boringly, I'm fine with that. Cheers, Val.

hmmm think I'd be better off at Globogym.... Average Joe's Gym isn't going to get me thin in a hurry!

Hmmmm.... I'm guessing its too late to look tough and manly in front of the builders after they've seen my collection of model planes and Verity Chester's love hearts around the house...

Hmmmmmm tomorrow is going to be interesting....

Hoping things would look better after a nights sleep, but it doesn't, we're done for...

how come every time I support a team outside of Norwich, they end up losing?? Curse you QPR, Villa! England, you're next up!

how long until the apocalypse? is it an issue I have forgotten to set sky plus for QI, or is it not really worth worrying about?

I do love it when a footballer slags off a team for playing rubbish that he/they couldn't beat!

I need McFlurry, fuzzy pop, big mac, alka seltzer and sleep. I have a hangover, repeat, I have a hangover!

I read the news today, oh boy...

I'm going to be remembering the 100 year anniversary of WWI by watching Blackadder Goes Forth excessively. Matt Brand

I'm having a two person can of soup for lunch. All to myself. SCREW THE POLICE

I'm hungry. And I'm not hungry for apples, or bananas, or any of that rubbish. I'm hungry for Hoolahoops, and chocolate, and curlywurlies, and yorkie bars. Basically nice stuff.

i'm off to buy 5 loaves of bread from Budgen's, as obviously the best thing to have in the cupboards if I'm snowed in for a week is lots of something that'll go off after 3 days....

I've got a cold and hay fever at the some time... I always thought they were opposing ideas, but no apparently not!

I've got an ice cream hangover

I

If anyone needs me, I'm at the hotel in London beside the shop with the bullet holes in it!

in beer related trouble.....

In other news, Nativity is a brilliant film and nearly (but not quite) as good as Elf!