pigsty

Yes please!

My mate told me he's getting me a radio for Christmas, but he won't be giving me any batteries. I reckon it's a wind-up.

Aha! Further proof that the 737 is a fish - see here.

"Mr Jenkins, before I prescribe Viagra for you, I want you to be absolutely sure you want it." "Oh, I am, doctor. I've been thinking long and hard for days."

"Mrs Jenkins, I'm afraid your husband has got stuck in the MRI scanner. We're not sure if he'll pull through."

A bloke goes to a party, with a load of notices under his arm. They all read things like Have Your Passport Ready for Inspection, and Goods to Declare, and Please Do Not Take Any Of The Following In Your Hand Luggage. He gets talking to another guest, who tells him he’s a psychiatrist. “I think you may have a problem,” the psychiatrist tells him. “Oh really?” the other bloke replies. “Yes … I wouldn’t normally diagnose someone on the spot, but in your case it’s pretty clear. You have borderline kleptomania.” “You know that just from talking with me?” “Well, it’s not just that. You’ve got all the signs.”

The Cenotaph is just over 35 feet high, so in scale that's a foot plus change and the courses will be a little over a third of an inch deep (assuming they're all the same height). The material is Portland stone with very clean smooth pointing, so you'll want to avoid what would be panel lines on something else. It might be easier to depict the courses with paint. It has seven step-backs, one of them moulded; three broad steps at the base; and an overhanging cornice on the actual tomb part at the very top. Plus wreaths, carved lettering and other fine detail. With all that, I'd be inclined to explore plaster, perhaps over a timber frame, rather than trying to do it with plastic.

If there's a 1/48 one it'll be some old vacform dog or a resin money pit. However, the good news is that the 1/72 Revell kit is excellent and not expensive. The Heller one is basically the snap-together Bobcat kit and better avoided. They do a Gabriel version too, but it's new parts on the same old kit. Still, if you can get one really cheaply, you can graft the parts onto the Revell one.

We do this in IPMS Kent. And without fail, every show, every bloody show, someone leans too heavily on the table guards and asks a question for which the answer is printed on a piece of paper just inches from his fingertips. Luckily he's always outnumbered by the people who can recognise the labels and appreciate them.

The chap on the stand told me that was planned for the second boxing, that and one of the second-line aircraft in pale blue and white. And he said the Scimitar was his favourite aircraft (takes all sorts, doesn't it?) and that made him determined to get the thing on sale some time during 2024. He was also hoping for a price around the new Airfix 1/48 Buccaneer.

That's right, though you have to include the HP.45, strictly speaking. Two blown into each other and another onto a railway line. Your question ...

The stuff they make tomato puree tubes out of is good. It's not as thin as paper or kitchen foil, but still thin enough to be easy to shape and convincing, and it's easy to cut. And your supply comes with a free sample of tomato puree.

Having helped out too, I'd second that. The one thing that made the Kit Swap so strenuous was having to record kit details as well as taking the money and making change. Volunteers did their best but it was clearly beyond some of them. And I'm sure that pushing sellers to get themselves organised in advance would be a great help - it would probably make setting up a lot quicker and easier too. However, I think barcodes have been considered and turned down, because of the cost - the machinery would be used for a week and dormant the other 51. IPMS might find accounting for it quite tricky too, given its slightly odd status under company law. Mind you, a Kit Swap isn't the only way to get round the problem of not having under-the-table sales at the TIC. An alternative is for sellers to buy trade space and simply sell that way. I doubt any one private seller could hope to do that on their own (although some years, you did wonder) but they could band together. As sellers paid a commission to cover running costs - which included hiring the room - the cost to them might not be that different if enough took part. And they needn't miss the show. Having got together, they could staff tables together as well, and do it in relays. I'm making it sound terribly simple; I'll bet it's not. But I'm pretty sure it's been explored behind the scenes, so something like it might yet happen.

I have control ... What aircraft had three-eighths of its total production destroyed by the wind?

The original Saturn I?

Overpriced and packed. The old Cherry Pink car park, which may now be called Telford Centre No.1, is about £4.50 all day on Saturday and only £1 on Sunday, and it's two minutes further away on foot.

You can buy tickets the night before - possibly even on the morning of the day you want to attend, but personally I'd never trust any electronic system that much.

My club's vehicle drop-off passes (for Frday set-up) arrived yesterday. There were only two of them - in previous years there were four. Was that supposed to happen?

Relatively speaking, yes. There's still more than most shows can muster the moment they open. I've generally found that even the most popular must-have new kits can still be picked up on Sunday. The only exception is when they come in samizdat-style, in someone's personal baggage rather than on an official trade stand.

This is really odd. I've used all sorts of metallic paint and I've never had a problem with gritty bits. Lumps of pigment swimming under a layer of solvent, yes, but that's solved by stirring and shaking. And I can't imagine how the metal flakes could be so coarse as to stick out of the finished surface. Anyway ... one brand that brushes surprisingly well is GSI's Mr Metal. It's not really designed for it, but it goes down well even over bare plastic and it can be buffed. If you're using it for long periods, you need to stir it again or the pigment all drifts to the bottom again, but apart from that it behaves well. It's more of a lacquer than acrylic or enamel, but I live with that - just keep a bottle of cellulose thinners and use a dedicated brush. There was another thread recently about the differences between GSI's two ranges of metallic paints, which would be well worth a look if I could find it.

One explanation is the urge to have things delivered on the day you order them. That puts speed ahead of efficiency, with the result that large numbers of half-empty vans whizz around wasting fuel. If we could be more patient - or perhaps if sellers hadn't persuaded us that we have to have everything now - fewer vans could actually be filled, go out less frequently, and still get everything where it's wanted, only a day later. It's quite possible those two were on different routes that happened to meet at one point but were mainly wandering round in other places with one or two lonely little boxes rattling around in the back.

Chap goes into a cafe in Scotland and the waitress comes up to take his order. "Awright, hen," he says, "could ah huv a quickie?" "Aye, right," she replies, "any more o'that an' yer oot. Whut d'ye want t'eat?" "Ah tol' youse - ah want a quickie." "Are youse lookin' for a slap?" "It's right here awn the me-an-u - look!" "A likely st- oh, ah see. Ye bampot- do yez not know it's pronoonced KEESH?"

Well, that one was a challenge ... Dave Swindell, it's over to you.

Right, as @tempestfan seems to have gone AWOL, and to keep some life in this thread, I'll ask another. What air-launched weapon was completely coated with nearly an inch of rubber, and why?

My money's on wrongly. If the police invent a law to do what they think is right, that doesn't make it right. The results are either (i) any prosecution fails because the charge won't stick, and the police don't come out of it looking good, or (ii) it doesn't get that far but people are threatened into behaving in a way that the law doesn't require them to. It would have been simple enough to say I'm removing this thing because waving it about like that is likely to cause a breach of the peace, and had it needed to go further, that would have worked, entirely within the law.