pigsty

Calling @cmatthewbacon, it's your turn to set a question.

HpH? I have the Classic Airframes Sea Hornet and I'm reasonably content with it. (Well, I'm too stubborn to replace it even if something better should come along.) But as I recall, isn't there a mistake on the inner wings, in that it has too many panel gaps, not the smooth plywood finish you'd expect? Still fewer errors than the Trumpeter job, though.

Well, we're finished at last. Thank you to everyone who turned up and made it another cracking event. Hope you had good fortune in the competition, or with the traders or the tombola ... and if not, there's always next year.

A lot of "dead" tracks run a little slack. If you watch film of them moving, many have a length of quite droopy track below the frontmost wheel (even if it's the idler). When parked that may translate into sag between the return rollers, as above, or the front bit may still hang down. Tracks have to be set up this way because, with suspension travel, you can't guarantee that all the wheels will always be in their neutral position. Another contributing factor is track wear - they really do get longer over time as the connecting pins deform. Too much slack will cause problems, which is why idlers have tensioners and part of track maintenance is to check them from time to time and extend them to take up excessive slack. Eventually the tensioner reaches the end of its range and the track has to be changed, or a link or two removed. "Live" tracks - ones with bushes in the connectors that pull them in on themselves - generally don't have as much slack in them, but it can still be seen, and of course some vehicles can't help having slack. For instance, any M110 would still have had some slack behind the sprocket even after being fitted with Diehl tracks.

It's demob time in the army, and as things have gone so well there's a new wheeze. "Every retiring soldier is entitled to a bonus," says the captain. "You'll be awarded £10 for every centimetre measured between the two body parts of your choice. Private, you're first." "I'll have it measured from my feet to the top of my head," he says. Out comes the tape, and it comes to 175cm, so he leaves £1750 richer. "Corporal?" The corporal's a lanky guy, so he chooses to be measured from the tip of one outstretched hand to the other. A few minutes later he's £1830 to the good. "Right, sergeant, you're the last." "I'll take it as the distance from my left eye to my right eye." "You sure?" "Absolutely." He takes off his sunglasses and the captain steps up. "Hang on, sergeant, where's your right eye?" "I left it at the battle of Jebel Akhbar," the sergeant says. "I'll take a cheque."

I completed a half-marathon at the weekend. I've left the other half in the fridge - I'll have it with a nice cup of tea later.

It's the Express. If they told me today was Wednesday, I'd still check my calendar.

The show's this weekend, folks! Banstead helpfully has two community centres. One is by the library at one end of the High Street. The other is behind the Woolpack, at the other end. That's the one we're in. It's a complete fluke that it's handy for the pub.

I was just about to ask if the show was back on ... Will last year's attending clubs be booked in automatically, or should we contact Colin to renew?

If you're using Contacta with the long thin needle, don't let it thicken. It will quickly become impossible to get down the needle. Once it starts thickening, it never stops - I've just thrown out an unfinished bottle (the one with the brush) because it's more like paint than glue. It is tricky stuff, though, very runny. It's why I prefer bottles with brushes. You could try this: easing a little drop out of the needle, not letting it fall, and then using a cocktail stick to transfer some of it where you want to put it. Large quantities of stuff like MEK sound attractive but unless you use them quickly, you may find they evaporate long before you've got to the bottom. Sealing the bottle seems to make no difference.

I knew of a cadet force once that had two tools, a hammer and a crowbar. They were called Brute Force and Ignorance.

Entry will be £3 for adults and, for concessions, £1.50 - an actual reduction on last year's rate. So we'll be helping with that cost of living thing, too.

A friend got me this book for Christmas - Couch to 5K. It says with a few simple exercises you can start from nothing and end up running 5km in just ninety days. Ruddy cheek! Even I can run it faster than that.

Something to relieve the winter blues - just after you finish the very last mince pie and just before you spot that bit of tinsel you missed on Twelfth Night. Yes, the North Surrey Show is back. It's on Saturday 3 February, 10am to 4pm, once again at the Banstead Community Hall, SM7 3AJ. For traders we have: Elan 13 Miniatures Simon McArthur HB Models Sovereign 2000 Jon Pol Guideline Publications R.M.Models And from the clubs we have: Aldershot BMSS Cambridge MAFVA East Kent Modellers Hailsham Horsham Gravesham Shepway Southdown Welling And, of course, our legendary bacon sandwiches, and the best flapjacks in the world. See you soon!

@Kingsman Ooh, thank you - PM on its way!

How are the tracks on the Airfix Cromwell? They seem quite decent link-and-length jobs, and I need to replace the vinyl ones on my Tamiya Centaur. The choices are (i) something mythical from Trumpeter or Hobby Boss, can't recall which; (ii) Friul metal ones, costing more than the kit and only going up as stocks dwindle. Paying twenty quid to rob the tracks from an Airfix kit, and possibly a few more bits to improve the Centaur, sounds almost like a bargain - if they're good enough.

I've just heard a very interesting discussion on the radio. It boils down to this: Boeing was once an engineering company that made a lot of money, but it changed itself into a company whose primary goal is to make money. As so often happens, they bear down on cost, because shareholders have to have their money now, they can't "earn" it over time; and they even moved their HQ to Chicago, which IIRC has never had any significant connection with the company or any of the others it's eaten up. The effect of putting shareholders first is, at first, to make them very happy; and then something like this happens, and the share value goes down the toilet. And it's far from the only example. Whether there's definitely a defect in this 737 model that shouldn't have been there, we can't know yet. But after the last foul-up, when they said they were "changing their culture" to put safety first, you do have to wonder what's going on there.

And it should come out a lot better when you do!

You got a message saying "read the pinned post". That post would have told you that the bit marked Help & Support for Forum Issues is only for how to work the forum and problems with it not working. It's not for help with anything else. There are ample other areas where you can ask for help with kits, paint, glue, markings, widgets, etc. Your best course now is to repeat your question in the right area. That will hugely increase your chance of an answer, and someone helpful will be along in moments. You may think they were a bit short with you. It's not personal. It still happens two or three times a week, despite that post and the clear warning in red, and I suspect the mods are just a bit peeved that it does.

"Luke Littler, future darts champion I'm sure, congratulations. Just in case any of our viewers haven't heard, can you remind us how old you are?" "Double eight!"

My little one was having so much trouble with words that sound the same but are spelled differently, she started crying. I patted her on the head and soothed her. "There, their, they're," I said.

I thought nothing would beat the tiny knitted cabbages I saw at the Newbury show a few years back, but this has.

Is near enough the right answer. The same engine was adapted for the LSRV and generated over 22,000lb thrust - on unleaded petrol! And yes, it's not strictly an aviation answer, but since almost all the other 17,000 J79s all got off the ground maybe we could stretch the point a bit. @GiampieroSilvestri, it's over to you.

Ah. Looks as if this one has slipped behind the sofa while we were all celebrating. So I'll throw one in to keep the pot boiling. What was the most powerful variant of the J79, and what was it fitted to?

"Fred, what's that white thing on the side of your head?" "Oh, come on, Bill, it's a - oh, hell, hang on, it's a suppository. How did that get there?" "That's not the question." "No?" "The question is, where's your hearing aid?"