general melchett

So true CC, so true. Truly paradise lost, summed up eloquently at a Mother's Union MENSA meeting held at the Britishodel Museumibold, back in the day..

Oh deep joy Martian. Much hooray and huzzah on the quicklodey neccessibold of the plastickybylodes and the of the injectionybole twinkly tacks. I'm greatly temptyfind encodiment of such in Micrasole Wordiho. Once keybty bash out in full on the computato, one presses the buttlymost and behold! Transfigglyhold of your text so plainimostfold into such befuddlence! Good job on all that hole filling....keep going.

Yes, yes, everyone get him started...one small step for mankind, one giant shove for Martiankind. Light the blue touchpaper and retire, tin hats on.

A denizen of Gallia Belgica using the term 'bloke' has to be one of the weirdest things I've encountered within this hallowed portal for some while....and there have been a few. Who, in turn, has been sent to ........

Unfortunately not, he used the last of it on a night out with the boys and to clear up a particularly vicious louse infestation he caught while holidaying in a Welsh dung hole.

Best of British, oh tentacled one. Round one of the aftermarket arrived today (Alleycat stuff) courtesy of Models4sale with rounds two and three via Hannants arriving tomorrow and Monday...and that's before all the scratching and rescribing starts! Mem's going to have a duck fit when she looks in her stamp book. Well I think you've made that perfectly clear Martian, but for anyone in any doubt this should clear things up nicely.....

Said every homicidal maniac over the last 8,000 years...

Oooh don't Bill, among other plastic niceties Martian was good enough to donate to the Georgina Melchett senile/senior Truss Fund last week, was an Airfix 1/48th Cranberry B2....so, of course the inevitable quest for aftermarket/correction parts has begun...a spiral into madness and possible bankruptcy beckons as so much is needed, made all the worse by John (Canberra Kid's) encyclopedic knowledge of the type (and kit). The Memsahib's Green Shield Stamp collection will take quite hit again...

He's off again....

Don't get too comfortable with it Jason, it won't last....pearls of wisdom would be a rare thing in this neck of the woods, so issue forth. Something like, ''oh, folly, folly, deep joy, let us embark on a whimsical questalot into the the deeply complicadent fundermold of the forry to conjure a fanciful name for our 3D treasurebolds, so we shan't be whispering their whimsical namesickles into the windybotts of Hendie's flibbetygibbets'' ?

Is that the one you ordered with the horns on the inside? Good lord, that would be almost £134 46p new money by now (minus £84 for stainage removal/dry cleaning/fumigation, plus £75 capital transfer tax, VAT etc....you'll be owing them.......don't leave the country.

Indeed, if you wouldn't mind. Have you got the necessary gear? if not, I'm sure the Memsahib could oblige. Always thought Spike played a magnificent Flatulent Valkyrie in F flat major.

I thought they shared that duty with the Lincolnshire police 'specials'...(day-release edition), Blind leading the blind really. You'll be able to find out first-hand Pete...you're on the guest drinker/speaker list again. Bring yer finest Raspberry Blower gear this time.

I totally resemble those remarks. Having landed back at Melchett Towers all the worse for wear yesterday, I estimate we'll need at least six months to fully recover, such was the mayhem that ensued. The local constabulary were surprisingly understanding, especially after we offered to pay for the damage inflicted on the local plod station and traumatization of the station cat. A contribution to the Chief constable's favorite charity (his private pension pot) went a long way in avoiding the more serious charges of breech of the peace (not saying whose pieces were breeched.......don't slouch Darling!), loitering with intent and feline GBH (we misheard the game rules...yet again). I think Malcolm Lowe summed it up best when he descended on our table at the Poole Vikings show on Saturday and said ''In the grand tapestry of our merriment, we frolicked joyously, reveling in the delightful whimsies bestowed by our enchanting hosts! Goodly byelode loyal peeploders! Now all gatherymost to amuse it and have a tilty elbow or a nice cuffle-oteedee — oh yes!” Couldn't agree more...I think. The baffling thing is we fully intend to have a rematch later in the summer, the authorities, this end, will not be pre-warned and this time the station cat will undergo therapy before the event..

CC/Alf, my particular form of gobblyjook originates from a different dialect to that spoken by the likes of Baldrick and yourself, being formed from an amalgam of ancient Pish, Double-Dutch and Regency Tommyrot. Baldrick, in particular, has perfected a localised form of Olde English Twaddle, personalised with a smattering of East-End Piffle and Tyneside Tosh. Yet, miraculously he is somehow able to communicate…