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general melchett

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general melchett last won the day on April 5 2022

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About general melchett

  • Birthday 11/22/1958

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    Bomber County

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  1. Nope, completely lost me there CC......over to the boffins at Bletchley House for this one, looks tricky, even for them.
  2. As Ian says it might just make the ladies powder room redundant, although being a self-contained unit will almost certainly have it's drawbacks.... No, it's staying put at the moment which suits Darling perfectly as he never knows where he is...chap's all over the shop....
  3. No problem Mike, I'll get Darling to send you another, just as soon as he gets back from the Old Boys Brigade meeting he's holding in his one bedroom flat above a stationary shop in Soho.... Exactly CC, how else is a general supposed to get between important meetings with fellow members of the Harrovian Cat Strangling and Ferret Nobbling Society, the Winchester Flower-Arrangers Eleven and the Women's Auxiliary Balloon Corps, Carrier Pigeon Fanciers division, one can't be expected to slum it and travel with the hoi polloi, even first class, it's just not cricket and besides, who would carry my feathery hat? These would be ideal Ian, the line "what you don't know can't hurt you" and turn completely dark and opaque at the first sign of danger sounds perfect....I'll issue a set to Baldrick, our chauffer, right away
  4. So true, the 'Wind-Breakers 11' will be attending a contest in Chicago soon, hoping the Zerbe can make it there without major incident (fingers crossed the band don't mind the wing seats...the views will be epic). Baldrick will be co-ordinating the IFR portions of the flight with the Royal Air Force using 18 converted Vickers Vernons led by none other than squadron commander, the Lord Flasheart himself, Darling will lead the piano recitals, pillow fluffing, flower arranging etc...so it's all go. Hoping the 'Windy City' will provide a bit of inspiration for the team and although I've been away from training for a while I might even see fit to join them for a tune or two once I've downed sufficient quantities of Shredded Sporran and eel and cabbage pie. After the show the others will have to make their own arrangements to get home, naturally, the Twyford 'Big Boy' will be busy enough as it is... More news from the home front, chintz in place and metal curtain rods fitted, all ready for the 'Big Push'. 'Big Push' completed with all the bits and pieces glued in place. Now for the fun bit....sticking the fuselage together and hoping it all fits. Note the Japanese Rising Sun on the bog seat, this is to encourage users to vacate the room as soon as possible, as opposed to a full moon! Thanks for looking (disclaimer: you do so at your own peril).
  5. Welcome lunatech (most apt). You're quite right to voice concerns re the business model. There will indeed need to be changes made to any aerodrome infrastructure capable of handling Zerbe operations. Someone to carry the piano, walk/feed/water the donkey, clean the spitoon etc. I think possibly moving chapels and their associated life-insurance portacabins to the end of the active runway would make sound business sense on the grounds of efficiency (ie the relatives won't have so far to walk/visit or pick up their cheques). I shall put this to the board next time Darling can be bothered to haul his carcass out of bed.
  6. Only for the driver....tell your friend he'll have to put up with chintz.
  7. Funnily enough you're the 30th person to do that since the tickets went on sale yesterday afternoon...particularly after mentioning that it would be a 'wind in your hair, once-in-a-lifetime' experience........odd that.
  8. Ah, I almost forgot the curtains, a 'must have' if you didn't want to see exactly where you were going to crash. They will be fashioned next...tacky and tasteless, of course.
  9. This is the price of progress Ian, the early pioneering spirit and a large dollop of mindless optimism usually saw us through. The Twyford maxi-bowl was larger than the average bog pan and required the operator to drop his/her derriere into the fully inclined position...mind you you had to be quick once the bi-turbo flush was pulled! grab handles were mandatory. This was bespoke luxury travel for the few (ie one), usually an appointed member of the army High Command, say, a general with a dicky heart and a wooden bladder, plus of course, a Baldrick, used to serve 'Turnip Surprise' and be on hand to turn the pages of my/a copy of 'King & Country' while we danced and frolicked amongst the cumulonimbus...besides there are always the four wings if you need to increase the passenger roster.. There's a square window in the lower part of the forward fuselage Pete, (partially covered by masking tape) that was used for 50% forward vision of at least 30ft during take-off and hopefully, landing which also provided a panoramic, first-hand view of your imminent and probable demise. What could possibly go wrong.
  10. Well, now I'm back from my visit to the Twilight Zone and after a short period of rehabilitation am back on the case with this aerial absurdity. Ah, many fond memories CC...almost brings an excruciating tear to the eye.....almost. Indeed, you'd think those pioneering yet masochistic mile consuming 'messers of the air' would have been especially keen on getting the situation under control, early in the proceedings....what with there not being many service stations on the way. A few more 'comforts for the troops' however, I think we're now somewhere near the limit of credibility (my mistake, we overtook that when we opened the box) not to mention room. Latest add-ons include a free-standing floor lamp with custom shade, made from the spare loose skin surrounding Baldrick's skull, two boxes of turnips that will have to pass for in-flight cuisine on this man's airline, a 'guzunder' or po for the driver and a spitoon as requested by young CC. Not sure yet where the donkey will be sitting but I'm guessing Baldrick will probably give up his seat for him. The portrait of has now been rehung in the throne room, beside the Thomas Twyford twin-turbo bio-organic rapid redistribution and evacuation device along with an RCA-Westinghouse radio set and G&T Monarch Senior gramophone player, complete with an old '78 of Al Jolson singing 'April Showers' and that 1921 classic 'Moon going Down' by Patton/Charley, used mainly to soothe the nerves and/or as 'sound camouflage' for the worst of the after effects of the Turnip Surprise.
  11. Sorry to hear this Martian, hope recovery is well underway. I’ll also be await a short while as we are down in darkest, deepest Welsh Wales to celebrate my aunt’s centennial birthday bash and, frighteningly I have been left to organise the shindig, which I’m off to now. wish me luck. Keeping this lot under control won’t be easy…Baldrick, fetch me the blurglecruncheon…. Melchie
  12. Great stuff -d-, must agree, masking can be a frustrating experience especially when the glazing merges with the fuselage. If it turns out right first time then all well and good, if not you’re forever chasing yourself…A common cocktail stick, wielded carefully can be a great asset. Looking forward to the decalling and finally seeing her in all her glory.
  13. I’ll do my best CC…might have to make do with an aircraft grade aluminium bedpan but that’s OK, I’m all for dual purpose efficiency…….
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