What you get off a Policeman when he is packing his baton....far more effective than a 'Punch'.

The noise lettuce makes when it´s eaten frozen

Here's the first word for February:

Turner's Puddle

Anthea's swimming pool.

The first sign of the artist becoming incontinent.

something to do with a film with tom hanks and a dog

The initial sketch for the 'Fighting Temeraire'?

What the barman always dropped Turner's change into.

Here's today's:

Ugglebarnby

What Barnaby's little niece called him when she was two.

The title of the final Midsomer Murders with John Nettles?

That wee mythical creature that lives at the bottom of everyones garden.

HuH? Mine´s called Tony....

Ugglebarnby is a small village of about 25 dwellings just south of Whitby in North Yorkshire. As well as the houses there is the 17th C All Saints Church. This was built on the ground occupied by a 12th C Norman church and the village gets it's name by rearranging the letters of the dirty winged figure once seen in the grounds of that Norman church.


Todays anagram is Grubby Angel!

LOL

no idea but it sounds very suspicious to me...

Here's Thursday's word:

Ulceby Skitter

The nasty sensation that you get when the tip of your tongue first encounters what is bound to turn into a mouth ulcer.

Generally the aftermath of a hot vindaloo.

^-^

wot they said

Last one of the week from me:

Vobster

Is it a sea creature that can be cooked Thermadore style from the same planet as the lizard creatures in the Sci-fi series "V"

Or it could be the V planet's equivalent of the Mafia.

No, it's an oyster with the dribbles.

a souped up lobster

a Vogon-lobster hybrid?

Just don't let it recite any poetry!

A lobster with a gigar and a tommy gun ?

Technical word used by doctors to describe the swollen end of a penis after it has been trapped in a toilet seat. ?


Slang for describing a very large floater?

its a car that can walk along the sea bed

And how exactly does this happen ... ?

I'm not sure that I want to know.

I said this was pervy....see?

No suprises there then...

Reason..?...It´s those few extra inches that seperate the men from the boys...

Today's name is >>
Braughing Friars

Ah, the Sausage-preparing monks from East Herts...

...very nice they are too (the sausages, not the monks).

I'm sure the monks are very nice too, but not in an edible way.

Incidentally, apparently it's pronounced 'braffing' rather than 'broffing.'

A collective noun for monks that have eaten a lot of curry the night before ?

We don't make those sorts of noises after a curry, we're a silent order!

something to do with what wierd people do with chips

It´s been written down wrong...really it´s Brau ghing Friars...a group of chinese monks looking for the the knife thrower Mr Lickey, who after killing his wife in a tragic Lickey end incident, ran off with the large chested chinese washer woman, Titty Ho.
All a bit like the plot of the TV series Kung Fu but a lot more believable.
I thought a pattern would emerge eventually.

The name of the local chippy run by that religious nut at the bottom end of the village.

Oh him...friar joes fish emporuim...he´s a weird one..only does fish on a friday and trys to make one bit of cod in batter feed the whole village

If I lived there I'd think there was something fishy going on.

For today's name we are going to Sweden >>
Morshyttan

It's where I work.

It's Morshyttan you could possibly imagine!

The purely phonetic version of what the bloke said when he brought the news of Henry the 8th´s decision about what was to happen to the 2nd and 4th wife.

The colloquial name or term of endearment given to the local public convenience.

The ruler of a dreadfull Muslim country

Which one?

England or Germany?