The maldon MUD race

I know about this as a mad friend of mine does it;



http://www.maldonmudrace.com/main.htm

Julien

Madness!

Right then, today's word is:

bangtidy

Obi-Jiff

To clean and make orderly an ejection seat.

Graham

Obi-Jiff

A good scr*w in Wales??

Now you're just being filthy. Good lad!

Obi-Jiff

I am reliably informed by a work collegue who was in the Royal Artillery that this is a term they used int he 70's but it was hyphenated with a pause, such as;

Bang - Tidy

Due to the then labour govts defense cuts they did not actually have any ammo, they would practive loading the gun, then collectivley shout BANG, the guncaptain would then say carry on and Tidy up, was eventually shortened to one order BANG - TIDY!

Julien

Very interesting, Julien. Does that mean Keith Lemon was in the Royal Artillery?!

Obi-Jiff

Might do! as he was hanging about with Jordan, definatly some heavy weapons there!

Bangtidy : When male calls a female bang tidy, it means that they find them very attractive and worthy enough to have sexual relations with.

Oh err missis!

Julien

I could comment on Jordan, but my mum always taught me that if I had nothing nice to say about someone, it's better not to say anything!

Obi-Jiff

Not "bangtidy" in my estimation!

Julien

"Rancid" is but one of the words I would use, if I wasn't being nice.

Obi-Jiff

its what my mum says I should do to my bedroom

Well, what are you doing posting on here instead?

Obi-Jiff

Bangtidy: a time bomb.

You've heard the line, "it looks like a bomb's gone off in here"? Well, all you need do is let off a bangtidy! It reverses time and the mess magically goes back to where it belongs. Then (if you're lucky and you haven't got one of the batches we tried to recall) it stops before all your worldly goods go back to the shop and the furniture disappears back into its flat-pack boxes.

New this year - citrus and pineapple scented bangtidys! Order next year for guaranteed delivery after Christmas (which won't matter because they will actually turn up before Christmas!) (We think!) (my head hurts now ...)

being rebellious and leaving my bedroom just as it is

Naughty Kev1n!

Sean, I like the way your mind works! Very surreal.

Obi-Jiff

Today's word is:

spider

Obi-Jiff

Looking at the wife through a key hole - I spider..........

Graham

Obi-Jiff

Sorry, bad I know

Graham

Oh, I dunno, I've heard far worse. I've probably made far worse jokes myself!

Obi-Jiff

i LOVE spiders....

8 leggy bitey things that scare people....except me.
The biggest is in Venezuela I think, about the size of a dinner plate

I don't love , but I've got nothing against them. They do a good job of keeping the flies down near our compost bin.

Obi-Jiff

Have yet to find the Monty Python connection yet..... so this will have to do!

Spiders are chelicerate members of the Arthropoda, Order Araneae, that can be recognised by the four pairs of legs and having chelicerae modified into fangs, that in some groups can inject venom. Some members have developed spinnerets for the production of silk to construct webs, build living structures and nest coccoons and to ´glide´ between trees(!) amogst other uses.
The Order Araneae are the largest order of arachnids numerically and rank seventh in terms of species diversity compared to all other groups of organisms. They have a global distribution with the exception of Antartica.

At the present understanding there are in excess of 40,000 species divided between 109 families extant.
The arachnids are divided into two sub-Orders the Mesothelae and Opisthothelae, of which the latter contains two infra-orders the Mygalomorphae and Araneomorphae
The Mesothelae contains 1 Family divided into 5 Genera that contain a total of 87 species
The Mygalomorphae consists of 15 Families that contain 300 Genera and a total of 2,600 species.
The largest, the Araneomorphae has 93 Families that hold a total of 3,400 Genera and 37,000 species.


(Palaeontological bit)

Due to their poor preservational state (soft bodies!) fossils are rare. The oldest known (at present) is the trigonotarbid Palaeotarbus jerami, from the Silurian (about 420 million years ago) in the Silurian period. The first spider with the capability to produce silk Attercopus fimbriunguis, dates from the Devonian period (386 million years ago) webs.[62]

The main groups of modern spiders, the Mygalomorphae and Araneomorphae, first appear during the Triassic period (approx. 200 million years ago). Some Triassic mygalomorphs have a strong corelation with members of the family Hexathelidae, (more commonly known as funnel-web spiders e.g. the Sydney funnel-web spider. The Araneomorphae account for the great majority of modern spiders, including those that weave the familiar orb-shaped webs. The later Jurassic and Cretaceous periods provide a large corpus of fossil spiders, including those from the infamous Dominican Amber mines (Jurassic Park...) that include representatives of many modern families.

My wonderful wife would answer...

Alfa Romeo Spider!

Ramble mode off!

Christian the Married

I can't think of a Monty Python connection either. I never knew spiders were so old - Jurassic Spider soungs like a good idea for a movie!

Your wife has great taste in cars, BTW.

Obi-Jiff

Well I'm am going to very non-macho and admit that they give me the willies!!

Won't do them any harm as has been said they help get rid of flies and other pests and at least in this country they are harmless but uuuuuuuurgh!!!!

Graham (the wuss)

Cheers Obi-Jiff!

British spiders don't bother me, but I wouldn't relish the prospect of coming face-to-face with a dirty great tarantula or similar. The big ones are a bit creepy.


Well, of course she has good taste. She married you, didn't she!

Obi-Jiff

look here....


http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=h...sa%3DN%26um%3D1

Awww it looks so cute!

Roast tarantula for Christmas dinner? At least you'd all get a leg each...

Obi-Jiff

I'm going now.......

Was it something I said?

Obi-Jiff

Right then, today's word is:

Gort

Obi-Jiff

Klaatu barada nikto, I believe?

You seem fluent.

Obi-Jiff

no....I just had other things to get on with....but I'm here again so I'm not offended

Gort - er.......

while I'm thinking about it, jumping back to the spider thingy, this kid is braver than everybody except me -



ok...so...gort...it's short for -

"gortcha" (london accent)

what the bloke down the road used to say when me and my mates used to upset him when we were little
(if he caught any of us - which he occasionally did...tho never me...)

Gortcha - very Chas n Dave!

Obi-Jiff

that didnt take long

Quick-witted, that's me!

Obi-Jiff

actually I think chas n dave said "Gertcha"

Well, it's close enough for government work, as they say.

Now, who's going dahn to Margate wi' me then?

Obi-Jiff

Margate ?....been there already...years ago when I was a lil' kid...went to dreamland

So did I, back when they still had the biggest big wheel in Europe. Fun day out, that was. Went down by train, like a proper perishin' East End day out, lor' luvaduck, gor blimey guv'nor.

Obi-Jiff

lmao....your accent needs a bit of work

What's wrong wi' me accent? I've never 'eard the like. I'm off down the rub-a-dub-dub.

Obi-Jiff

Lord Gort, awarded V.C. in WWI; C-in-C BEF, in France 1939-40; took over as Governor of Malta, 7-5-42, when Dobbie was disgracefully sacked.
Edgar

Lord Gort was also the name of the cat in Blitzcat, by Robert Westall, author of The Machinegunners.

Obi-Jiff